Just found underwear from bfs ex girlfriend in my flat. Help what do I do?

(280 Posts)
Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 19:57:32

Title pretty much says it all! I'm confident the ex was years ago and now remarried. But my bf has hung on to her underwear?? Deliberately unpacked and kept at the bottom of his side of the wardrobe. My immediate reaction is to throw it. Am I right??

MysweetAudrina Sat 14-Jun-14 19:58:57

How do you know its hers? Are they clean? They might be his :-)

brokenhearted55a Sat 14-Jun-14 19:59:05

Wear it.

Tell us how he reacts.

FabULouse Sat 14-Jun-14 19:59:46

I'd put them on the kitchen table for him to see when he gets home (childish/angry, prob not most constructive advice). Hope you're ok.

PortofinoRevisited Sat 14-Jun-14 20:00:01

How can you possibly know it is hers? hmm

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:00:40

Def not his!! Size 8 he wouldn't fit. It's a bra and a silk nighty

Waltonswatcher1 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:00:52

Throw him out with the pants . Yucky chickens .

littlewhitebag Sat 14-Jun-14 20:01:53

Ask him about them when he gets in. They may indeed be his.

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:02:15

Trouble is he'll want to know why I was poking around in his side of the wardrobe. I was purely being nosy

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:02:45

Guys I'm pretty confident they are not his

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:04:16

Do I throw them out deliberately so he can see I have thrown them or just quietly??

Needadvice5 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:05:55

Why were you poking around in hos wardrobe?

Surely you were looking for something?

How do you know they belong to his ex? possibly having an affair?

TheHouseatWhoCorner Sat 14-Jun-14 20:06:00

He's moved them into your flat?!

JanineStHubbins Sat 14-Jun-14 20:06:14

You need to talk to him about this. Don't just throw them out.

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:08:16

They look pretty old. No I have moved in with him. He's not having an affair!! We spend every night together. Dunno why I was looking, I was just bored :-S

phantomnamechanger Sat 14-Jun-14 20:09:17

any chance they are a gift for you? or are they definitely old/used?

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:10:09

Trouble is, I found some letters from a different ex and got annoyed about them - and then he (rightly) accused me if bring out of order for going through his things. And now I have just done it again. Oops :-/

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:10:41

They look really old. Wrong size bra for me!!!

puntasticusername Sat 14-Jun-14 20:10:52

I do think you ought to talk to him about this, rather than just throw them away. Otherwise, you'll always wonder. Can you say you found them while you were putting clean laundry away, or something?

If you reply "No, because I never do that, he always insists on putting things away in his own side of the wardrobe himself", we'll know that there really might be an issue wink

Liara Sat 14-Jun-14 20:11:24

What makes you think he kept it deliberately? Maybe it was there from when she was, and it just stayed there unnoticed all this time?

I may be revealing how much of a slattern I am, but there are things at the back of some of my drawers which have probably sat there for years.

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:11:49

They are a definite "memento" from his ex.

Needadvice5 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:11:51

Oh sorry your title says your flat, unless I've read it wrong!

if it's his flat it's just an oversight on his part, I would just put them back and he will come across them and hopefully bin them!

I wouldn't want be in a relationship with someone who routinely went through my stuff as entertainment on a boring weekend.

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:12:36

Nope he moved a year ago. These are carefully placed so I can't find them

Tulip1011 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:13:50

Well it's kind of our flat as I pay for it too but yeah.

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