So my husband moved out three weeks ago, well he actually sofa surfed and he was here a lot for the first week but he has been properly moved out since then and seeing the children 3 nights a week, usually staying over 2 or 3 when I am working.
The thing is he has been REALLY annoying/upsetting me this last week with little comments and things he has said.
One of the problems in our marriage is that he has always maintained that I am not a beautiful person and will never be beautiful, I have piled on a lot of weight and since he left I have been trying to cut back on the calories (not comfort eating has helped) and just focus on being healthier.
So I have been having slimfast shakes for breakfast and lunch and then a huge salad with 4 cherry tom, a good handful of lettuce, cucumber and sprouted lentils and peppers and so on with a bit of salad dressing and a chicken breast grilled for dinner.
On Monday he looked at the bowl of salad I was eating and said that it was 'too much food' and gave me this really disapproving look, he then came back and said that it was 'too expensive' for me to eat a different meal to the kids (I had fed him and a friend as well). I didn't really know what to say to him so I just carried on eating my ONE MEAL of the day but it did make me feel like shit.
I don't know if this is BU or not because though it did make me feel like shit it might not have been meant to?
Anyway I have also being taking a bit more pride in my appearance, I bought a nice dress and put a bit of eyeliner on and when he saw me he said
'Hey did you see that myth busters where they proved that you can actually polish a turd' and started talking about it. I didn't really know what to say so didn't really meet his eye and I have asked him not to come around until Friday when he is watching the kids but I am actually a bit peeved at him.
If I mention it he will brush it off as that he 'didn't mean that' and perhaps he didn't but I wanted to know how other people would react?
He also got annoyed when I picked him up briefly to help me take the kids to the doctors (emergency appointment) and then into Tesco to get some antihistamine and though looking back I think I could probably had done it on my own, it was much easier having two adults there to run in and leave the kids in the car than cart them round tesco at 7pm so close to their bedtimes.
So he seems really annoyed with me and he has really been annoying me but I do want to make sure I am reasonable in being annoyed and not just blowing things out of proportion. I have had 10 years of him making snarky little comments like that about my weight and looks and then putting it down to him being 'clumsey' when I point out how he has made me feel.
He make a huge mess in the house, by 'moved out' he feels he can come and eat dinner here but will not tidy up and he bathed the children on Monday but left the water in the bath, dirty nappies all over the floor and their clothes everywhere so I feel like I get the shit jobs whereas he gets the nice spending time with the kids jobs.
So is he BU or am I? How should I approach it?
AIBU?
I need to know if IABU with regards to comments from EX
ICanHearYou · 12/06/2014 14:20
He's a shit. You need to stop the need for him to be in your home ASAP. Set up an email address specifically for child related communications. Change your locks and get on with your life. There is no need to speak to him. He is poison.
Good luck 
Well done breaking up with him op.
He doesn't deserve you and I'm sorry you had to deal with him for so long.
Nasty man.
And 
for you. X
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If you can't get any other childcare, and I see your hours would make that difficult, I think you have to make finding different hours a priority. It will have a huge knock on effect on your life. In a good way. 
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