AIBU to want to have a little whinge at school about this?

[teeththief]

DS (year 4) has been going to badminton club after school once a week since Easter. There's a local school tournament coming up and DS was really hoping to be chosen to go. He isn't really into sport but has really enjoyed doing this and has become quite good at it (not fantastic but good!). The ones who started at Easter were told that it would only be children who go to the club who would be chosen to represent the school in the tournament.

However, when I went to pick him up yesterday there appeared to be the usual 'sporting heroes' at the club. The ones who play football, rugby and tennis for the school and are always chosen for the swimming gala etc. It appears that the teacher has brought these children in so that they can go to the tournament instead of the ones who have been going since Easter.

WIBU to mention this to school? I know the school love to be seen to be winning any sporting matches they attend, which is to be expected, but feel it's a bit unfair for them to invite children in to represent the school when they haven't attended the club?

DS isn't upset as such but is a bit knocked down by it.

[Annunziata]

Check you have the full story first, not all guns blazing.

[teeththief]

LOL I don't do 'all guns blazing' and it's definitely the full story. Was just thinking of letting the teacher know DS was disappointed because they'd said nobody else was allowed to join and he thought he had a chance to do something sporty for school for once.

Maybe IABU and should just accept these children will always get to do the sporting events

[Canthisonebeused]

I would mention it. I had similar with my dd, has done football training for past 3 years in schools after school club. Not a school team however about 10 of the boys who don't do this training in her class were picked for a 5 a side schools tournament. I was a bit put out dd wasn't asked, but decided not to get to wound up over it.

However on the morning of the tournament I got a frantic call from the school asking if I get some football kit down to my dd as they couldn't enter without a girl on the team. Dd then had to play every single match as they actually needed a Girl on pitch in all games, I was glad they came second but poor dd had to go all the way. Not once did anyone from school recognise how much was placed on her.

[WaffleWiffle]

The sporting world is not about everyone having a turn. It is about being the best.

Is this right or wrong for children? That is a personal thing. Personally, I think children need to learn to live in the real world. If the 'sporting heros' are better, so be it.

[littledrummergirl]

This happened to ds1 in primary. They graciously allowed him to take part in a football tournament. He had half of a game on the pitch and the rest of the four games on the sideline.
He told the teacher that he felt it was very unfair and would never represent that school again at sport.
Ds2 was included fairly and dd is enjoying her sport.
I feel your pain.

[Canthisonebeused]

Waffle school tournaments are usually about inclusion and everyone having a fair turn.

[Canthisonebeused]

It's not fair to chose the children who aren't already involved in the sport through the school in some way.

[fingersonbuzzers]

I'm not sure really. I mean, he's only been going since Easter - that's only a few weeks, really.

I could understand if he'd been doing it for years and this suddenly happened but I don't think it makes that much difference that he's been going to the club a few weeks more than this new lot, does it?

[17leftfeet]

This happens at dd's school

Apparently the 'sports stars' have been identified by the school as G&T by the school so they get the opportunities

The problem is these children continue getting better because they get the opportunities to play and the gap widens

[teeththief]

No fingers a few weeks doesn't make a difference. It was the fact that they were told that only the ones who were at the club would get the chance to do the tournament. That's what's bugging me I think.

[Backtobedlam]

I think primary should be about giving everyone a chance. Very few will ever go on to be sports stars as adults but we want to encourage as many as possible to enjoy sport for their future health and fitness. I think it's worth having a quiet word, it may not change things if they've already chosen for this tournament, but hopefully may give the school food for thought in future.

[fingersonbuzzers]

Apologies, then. I've misunderstood you saying:

"However, when I went to pick him up yesterday there appeared to be the usual 'sporting heroes' at the club."

as these children have now joined the club. Have they not joined the club then?

[teeththief]

No. The tournament is next week and these children have been asked to come to yesterday's club and to practice for the 2 days next week before the tournament. Then they wont be going to the club again! (As confirmed by one of the parents).

DS will have forgotten about it within a week! I'll be the one brewing on it

[WaffleWiffle]

Has the badminton club run for the whole year or just since Easter?

[fingersonbuzzers]

Ah, in that case YANBU.

[Canthisonebeused]

If they were putting a team together for a league and held trials and the children who were better got through fair enough.

But it seems it was a one off tournament, I assume it was a schools sport partnership type thing, which often is about providing the opportunity for all children to get involved in sports regardless of ability. Then I think it's only fair to encourage the enjoyment through either put through children who have been playing and had been told they would get through or children who have had very little opportunity.

It defeats the object of these initiatives by putting though the children who are gifted and have a greater opportunity to participate in sports. As it often then works out that the athletic children who have never played or shown an interest in badminton particularly get to go because they are at a better physical advantage and so are likely to win. Bit those particular children gain no real benefit other winning.

[sugarplumfairy]

This happened to my DD with lacrosse. She only got picked for the team because someone else couldn't go, she plays county lacrosse! But because she doesn't play football, then she wasn't picked. She is very sporty, used to beat the boys at running on sports day, just her face didn't fit. Don't know why the school thought football players could play lacrosse better than my DD. I do think they should field the best team, but who decided your DS wasn't good enough, have they had some sort of trial?

[teeththief]

Just since Easter waffle - in preparation for the tournament!

[Smartiepants79]

If the children chosen to go are not part of the club for the sport then that is not right or fair.
I also believe that primary school is about inclusion and giving children a chance to find the things they enjoy and are good at.
I would be cross that they'd said one thing and done another.
Bringing in kids just so they can win is terribly cynical and doesn't teach the kids much about working hard paying off.

[sugarplumfairy]

Sorry just read your update about the ones that were already in the club would be going to the tournament. I definitely think the school should have kept to this, it is annoying when others always seem to get picked.

[mrsseed]

I have the opposite.I had an argument when my daughter was left out of the school athletics team for a county wide competition, yet she is in the local athletics club and regularly wins there county competitions. The school doesn't have an athletics club so picked seemingly randomly the people to take part. They are aware of her talent. There argument was inclusion, mine was she works hard at this and you are telling her that means nothing despite the fact she has a fair chance of winning. Also you wouldn't send a non academic kid to an academic competition.
I won and she is going now. I hasten to add that no-one initially picked has been kicked off.
So YABU for thinking that sports is just sports and everyone should compete but YANBU if they change the rules. This is a primary school by the way.

[littlegreengloworm]

Exactly, it's primary school! It has to be more about showing the children they are rewarded for loyalty and hard work. Or just for sporting ability.

[Canthisonebeused]

Although it sounds contradictory to what I have previously posted, I do think it would be fair to pick your dd for the athletics team mrsseed if there was a fair balance of children going. What wouldn't be fair is in the case of OP if your dd was chosen to muscle in on everything because she is an athlete, seems that your dds school has gone way too far the other way.

[mrsseed]

Thanks, I guess I just don't get why sports competitions are treated differently, if you're not good at spelling your school won't put you in a spelling bee competition, if you are rubbish musically (which my dd is) they wouldn't put you doing a solo in a concert. Clubs should be inclusive, competitions should not be. But as I said before if the school states the team is picked from the club then they should stick to that.

[Canthisonebeused]

You have never been to one of my dds concerts then . I think I see the academic part different as all children do have a fair chance at academic educational experiences but not all children have a fair crack at sports or even music come to that and so being more inclusive especially in primary school may provide opportunity to tap into a hidden gift or talent or enjoyment for someone who otherwise my not be given the exposure. It's about inspiration I think but that's not say it's fair to then wilfully exclude anyone.