DD has years of form for not answering calls and texts from me on her mobile and it drives me crazy. She also views me as her personal taxi as she refuses to get a bus and knows I don't like her walking home late on her own as every week there's a story in local paper about people being attacked. Teenage girls mugging other teenage girls in a recent one. DD plays on this anxiety and knows I will come and get her albeit grudgingly as at her age I think she needs to make her own arrangements. None of her friends live near us and it's a 30 min walk from the closest one down quite lonely roads backing onto fields and woodlands.
Tonight she had something to do at college until 9pm and as the bus station is a 5 min walk from there, I told her to get a bloody bus home! She texted me at 9pm and said she was walking her friend home and could I pick her up from there at 9.30pm. I refuse but she tells me they are already on their way. I duly get to her friends house at 9.30 and text her that I am outside. Wait 10 mins and she does not come out texting her a few more times and trying to call her but of course she does not answer as she puts her phone on silent.
I did not want to knock on the friends door as I don't have much to do with her friends parents since her mother allowed DD to get pissed at her house and with her booze last year, and then had the cheek to call me to come and get her as she was 'ruining their evening' by upchucking everywhere!
I then drive around assuming DD and her friend are not back there yet as all lights are off in the house, expecting to meet them walking back. Can't find them so go back to friends house and beep car horn once thinking that maybe DD and friend are at front of house where I cant see lights and she will hear car horn. Friends mum then opens door and I ask her if DD is there. She tells me neither DD or friend are there. She tries to call friend, friend does not answer so she tells me I've made her a bit worried now which makes me quite anxious too.
I drive down the street again hoping I can see them as I have a massive headache and want to get home. Finally find DD and friend walking down the street smiling away at me, so I stop the car and let rip with some expletives in front of her friend! DD then tells me that she needs to get back to friends house to pick up some shoes so I will have to wait for her some more. No apology for making me wait for her. Just says she did not realise what the time was 
. I let rip at her in the car -she should think herself lucky she has parents who give a shit how she gets home, she is disrespectful etc, etc. This is after her telling me this morning that I should drop her at college at 1.00pm (because she did not get her ass out bed until 11.00am and needs 2 hours to get ready) as 'you don't have anything else to do'. GGGGRRRRRR. She is the eldest of 4 DC btw.
DH seeing me steaming when I get in says I am making a fuss about nothing!
AIBU?
to have gone nuts at DD (17). DH and DD think I am!
WonderingAllowed · 05/06/2014 23:02
Well - the not answering the phone thing is REALLY frustrating. My dad was like this and it ended up tragically.
However, and I think you obviously adore your DD but I do think you seem a little uptight and beeping the horn, driving round, getting more and more worked up - I could be wrong but you sound very anxious, and a little highly strung. I do think stepping back and thinking "answer your phone if its that important, DD!" would be a good policy here! 
Thank you all for agreeing that IANBU. Thought I was for a second!
I did drop her at college 
. Silly woman that I am.
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YANBU, but she's only able to treat you like this because you're letting her get away with it. And then giving in and giving her lifts everywhere. You need to get tough with her, she's almost an adult and perfectly capable of getting herself around on the bus.
As for judging her friend's mum because she lets her daughter stay out till 2am, isn't that normal for most 17 year olds? 
I'd left home by the time I was 17 and was out till all hours. My DSD had already been on a girls holiday abroad by the time she was 17 and was perfectly capable of policing herself and the time she came home. As long as she was quiet when she came in. I certainly never waited up for her I'd have been up all night!
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