Pineapples ..... Total fuckers.

(133 Posts)
HoneyDragon Thu 05-Jun-14 21:23:06

They always manage to stab you when you carry home, no matter where in the bag you put them.

You waste loads, only 10% of the fuckers are officially edible.

They are messy.

You end up eating half of it before you finished chopping it up, on account they are gorgeous little bastards, so you never officially have enough, then get pineapple consumption guilt.

Pineapples, total fuckers.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Thu 05-Jun-14 21:25:06

No way. Mangos are right gits. I can peel a pineapple! Pomegranates close second on the 'most annoying fruit' catorgory.

HoneyDragon Thu 05-Jun-14 21:26:33

Mangos can be devious slippery fuckers, you're right there.

Never fallen out with a pomegranate though.

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Thu 05-Jun-14 21:30:19

You speak the truth HoneyDragon. Plus I luffs them, but I CBA to so anything with them and when I do they are too ripe and they give me tummy ache sad.

I am toying with one if those pineapple oojamaflips.

TobyLerone Thu 05-Jun-14 21:31:39

They make my mouth hurt, but they are too delicious not to eat sad

WiseKneeHair Thu 05-Jun-14 21:32:02

Fresh pineapple chunks are the lazy way to go. Still delicious but no poking or waste.

Caoilainn Thu 05-Jun-14 21:34:23

I second the pomegranates. Look innocent but full of foul seeds (that the kids love) and bitter yucky stuff entwined inside the fuckers. confused
Pineapples are tricky bastards too though.
Mangos are too pointless to worry about.

ViviPru Thu 05-Jun-14 21:35:01

You know you've been on MN too long when you read a thread title and know who posted it before even seeing their name....

ViviPru Thu 05-Jun-14 21:36:02

And to answer your AIBU... erm YANBU. I like my pineapple pre-prepared and in a little cellophane lidded pack for the very reasons you cite.

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Thu 05-Jun-14 21:36:56

Now nectarines I have no problems with. I had such a delicious one today that the baby didn't get any of it shock. And he really really loves nectarine.

grocklebox Thu 05-Jun-14 21:36:58

You have no idea. All of that, plus I'm allergic to pineapple in the fresh form. So they even attack me from the inside, the fuckers.

They make my lips itch. I buy frozen mango - no pain, all gain.

RandallFloyd Thu 05-Jun-14 21:37:03

I've always wanted one of these bad boys but I've got a sneaking suspicion they'd be a bit shit.

OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks Thu 05-Jun-14 21:40:29

Randell, they're not! I bloody love mine. I've always fancied msking a drink in the leftover 'shell'

OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks Thu 05-Jun-14 21:41:03

ffs *Randall

ShakyTheStork Thu 05-Jun-14 21:43:18

Pineapples give me mouth ulcers.

Fuckers.

EatDessertFirst Thu 05-Jun-14 21:44:00

Tinned all the way I'm afraid. Allergic to the fresh but very delicious golden fruit.

Tallypet Thu 05-Jun-14 21:46:16

One word: tinned grin
I battled for 20 minutes or so wrangling a pineapple to submission and got a paltry amount. I don't like tinned fruit (it feels like cheating even though it's not) but I'll be damned if one of those feckers pokes me again!

CornChips Thu 05-Jun-14 21:47:10

What are you all doing with fresh pineapple? ALDI do frozen pineapple chunks. Gorgeous things, and only £1.39 or something. I use it for everything smoothies to curries.

Fresh pineapple is always brown in the middle when you cut into it. Browny Pineapple Fuckers.

PipkinsPal Thu 05-Jun-14 21:47:28

I buy tinned mango or frozen. Pineapples are a nuisance and I am toying with getting a pineapple gadget. Apparently one of Lakeland's best sellers.

EdYouKateShaun Thu 05-Jun-14 21:50:25

The pineapple thinymajig is amazing! I got mine free with a pineapple in asda last year. And I have made a drink with the juice and drink it from the skin

RandallFloyd Thu 05-Jun-14 21:53:17

Are they properly good, VikingDude?
I really want one but I fear the reality would be a huge disappointment so I don't want to spoil the fantasy.

Intrigued by frozen pineapple.

RandallFloyd Thu 05-Jun-14 21:56:25

You got a free thingumy? No way!

CatsCantTwerk Thu 05-Jun-14 21:56:52

But you can regrow the top of a pineapple!

My dp gets ulcers and sore lips from eating pineapple, I thought it was just him, I didn't realise it was a thing.

Fram Thu 05-Jun-14 21:59:37

C'mon someone scientisty- what makes people get ulcers from pineapples?

They may be fuckers, but they're truly delicious.

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