Should I go to the party?

[calculatorsatdawn]

DP has a large group of friends from university they meet up a couple of times a year and go on weekends away etc.

One of that group of friends is his exgirlfriend. I have no problem with them being friends or going on holiday together, they split up two years ago (we've been together about 9 months) after it fizzled out and DP doesn't have feelings for her anymore.

However, after they went away the last time DP was quite upset when he came home as it became quite apparant that she still had feelings for him (anyone could have told him this, every time she posts something on facebook he is tagged in it, she comments on every thing he does etc) neither does this bother me and I refuse to get involved or even express an opinion on the subject as this is an issue that he needs to sort out with her in his own way.

A couple of months ago I went with him to a birthday party of one of the friends in this group and on the whole they are very nice and I had a great time, all apart from one woman who is really good friends with the ex. She wasn't outright rude but it was very clear that I was an outsider and she wasn't happy with me and DP being together.

Now I understand that her friend is upset that DP has moved on and that she would like to get back together with him, but they split up before I even met DP let alone started dating him. The woman with the problem is having a birthday soon and DP has asked me to go along. I don't really want to for a number of reasons, I have way too much on at the moment to spend a whole weekend away but most of all I don't really feel welcome. That said, he wants me to go and I feel that the more that I am there the more she will all get used to the idea that he's moved on.

[MrsWinnibago]

To be frank I find it odd that you're not included in these weekends away. His friends should be part of yours now....not saying one can't have separate mates but weekends away in a mixed group are something which you should be in on.

Go to the party....be friendly...if she ignores you that's her problem.

[Lilaclily]

Sounds like the film Peters Friends

I don't think I'd be happy them still being friends tbh
I also think he shouldn't be friends with his ex on fb

[Flissity83]

I'd go. Show them you don't care. You're with him now. Be the calm, cool collected one and they will come across as numpties.

[calculatorsatdawn]

The last time they went away we hadn't been together that long and it was booked in advance. I am invited to the next one.

[everyusernameiwantistaken]

I'm torn.

On one hand it's her party and if she doesn't like you (however irrational they may be) then it's not unlikley she'd be peed off if you were there.

On the other hand, you are her friends partner and she should respect his choice of partner and not make you feel uncomfortable. Plus, your partner wants you to go.

Is his invitation a +1? Are other partners going? If yes to either then she will expect him to bring you and I would probably go - as you say, the more she knows you the more she will accept, plus of course, your partner wants you to go.

If it's not a +1 or no other partners are going then I wouldn't go to be honest.

[IrishBloodEnglishHeart]

How old are these people? You are his partner, there is no reason why you shouldn't go to a party with him and if they still have a problem, that's what it is, their problem. Not yours. Go, relax, enjoy yourself with the right-minded people at the party and rise above the silliness.