Expect DH to Facebook defriend OW after affair ended?

(78 Posts)
st273447 Wed 04-Jun-14 16:10:47

So the affair has ended and DH committed to our relationship, but my DH is still FB friends with OW?

Should I have to ask to defriend or am I being unreasonable?

WhereTheWildlingsAre Thu 05-Jun-14 06:54:56

Bottom line is at the very least, to get the trust and respect back, the husband should not be wanting to keep the lines of communication open at all. So She should be blocked on FB, full stop.

Keeping them open in secret is another issue altogether.

Janethegirl Thu 05-Jun-14 06:45:03

smile

Waltermittythesequel Wed 04-Jun-14 23:44:07

So the affair has ended and DH committed to our relationship

Yeah, I don't think so.

As for Jane, well, there's always one.

If the OPs DH wants to keep communications open with the OW he will. Is it not better for him to be upfront about it than use subterfuge?

How does keeping OW on FB preclude subterfuge?

This bloke doesn't even respect his wife enough to conduct his extramaritals under some sort of cover of darkness! I can't see how shagging someone else in plain sight is any way preferable to skulking around.

Even now she's found out, he won't take the basic step of severing contact.

She shouldn't need to issue an ultimatum - and the idea of refusing to defriend one's co-adulterer out of sheer bloodymindedness is just shock

princessconsuelobananahammock Wed 04-Jun-14 23:22:29

YANBU

Fairenuff Wed 04-Jun-14 22:57:18

It's all about trust

Absolutely.

Everyone deserves to be trusted until they prove themselves unworthy.

Once that trust is broken, they have to work pretty damn hard to regain it.

Janethegirl Wed 04-Jun-14 22:55:58

If the OPs DH wants to keep communications open with the OW he will. Is it not better for him to be upfront about it than use subterfuge? Should he tell the OP he has defriended her on fb then contact the OW by alternative means? If the OP does not trust her DH she should LTB.

MrsWolowitz Wed 04-Jun-14 22:50:30

It's all about trust.

Trust is earned. OP's DH broke her trust and should be bending over backwards to earn it back.

I think this is more about respect. Or lack of.

Janethegirl Wed 04-Jun-14 22:47:42

It's all about trust. Yes you can unfriend on fb but there are many other methods of communication if you really want too. Fb is not the be all and end all of communications.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 04-Jun-14 22:40:32

maybe he wants to keep in contact with her

even if the affair is not longer going on this is not a good sign

and its sad that your are questioning yourself over this

MrsWolowitz Wed 04-Jun-14 22:37:53

Jane I can't help thinking someone who would be stubborn to spite the people they supposedly care about need to grow up.

OP YANBU. He is BVU!

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 22:31:17

smile

Janethegirl Wed 04-Jun-14 22:29:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 22:27:14

I am glad to hear it, Jane. You must have budged an inch at least once in order to not purposely hurt your husband in that case.

Janethegirl Wed 04-Jun-14 22:19:39

anyfucker yes I have, and have been happily married for many a year smile Whatever I'm doing works for us, even if it's not for you. However I trust my DH and he trusts me.

The fact that he hasn't thought to do this on his own accord would be the sign that I would need to dump his sorry arse. With a smile and a big fat middle finger right in his face....SEE YA!

Have strength OP x

littlegreengloworm Wed 04-Jun-14 22:10:12

LTB !!!!

CerealMom Wed 04-Jun-14 22:07:43

Oh come on folks - where's the trust? I mean, it's just Facebook. They're not actually meeting up or anything. What's the harm ;-). Everybody's so uptight.

<chokes on sarcasm>

If it was DH, I'd of strung him up by his balls till they turned blue. Then the ow could have him and his blue balls.

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 22:05:55

I couldn't be with anyone who stubbornly refused to do somethign easily within their power just to prove a point.

have you had any many successful relationships, Janethegirl

Chippednailvarnish Wed 04-Jun-14 21:55:32

I normally agree with you Any.

Why don't you write on his wall " Dear cheating H, you're dumped"?.

Janethegirl Wed 04-Jun-14 21:54:36

You either trust DH or you don't. The fb thing is really irrelevant. I personally will never give in to such an ultimatum. Even if I had intended to block a person on fb, being challenged would ensure I did not do it. I will agree I can be truly irrational at times though, cos I'm truly cussed.

wheresthebeach Wed 04-Jun-14 21:36:11

Wow. I'd go berserk.

RidgyTipper Wed 04-Jun-14 21:16:53

Honestly? It might be time for YOU to defriend HIM.

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 21:12:11

Hey, that what I think too !--gets me into trouble sometimes--

Chippednailvarnish Wed 04-Jun-14 21:04:15

Every thread to me is a no brainer, just not everyone agrees with me!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now