This is long...sorry! We moved to the UK more than a year ago. I left a lifestyle & job that I loved so that my husband could get the promotion he desired. As he was already earning 3 times as much as me, and this was a position he was very keen on, (better salary, a more senior position) I decided to sacrifice the life I loved in the hope that this would be the best move for the family. I had been a Stay home mum for years before finally finding a job I loved & taking it on, but would not necessarily have gone back to work at all had hubby not been so 'tight' with his money. (Which he had plenty of!) I eventually grew sick of all his comments & questions with regards to every penny I spent & decided to start earning my own salary so I wouldn't have to be subjected to his unnecessary scrutiny all the time. While I was working, I was initially not expected to contribute much to household expenses because my job was temporary & as we were expats with pretty much everything paid for, (apart from a full time helper which hubby paid for), my salary was more a bonus than a necessity. Hubby paid for most entertainment, & other small expenses, while I used my salary as I pleased, usually on things for kids, holidays, (he paid for most holidays too but I often booked short holidays at my own expense for special occasions as a surprise) and gave my mum money on a monthly basis as she had a job which didn't pay very well and needed (but never at any point asked for) a bit of financial assistance. Hubby wasn't pleased about me assisting my mum often and as soon my job went permanent, he tried to convince me to give less to my mother & take over certain costs such as his car insurance, and requested that I contribute to our children's monthly savings as well...both of which I was happy to do, but I felt that me assisting my mum should not be an issue because I was not using money that we needed to run our household for this, and thought it was selfish not to help out when I was in a position to do so & still lead a very comfortable life. In other words, I was happy to contribute towards expenses & savings but wanted to continue to help my mum out. We argued over this because he felt that rather than give my mum a big amount every month, I should cut down the amount I was giving her & contribute a larger amount towards kids savings. I felt that he had done without any contribution for kids from me for years, so should regard anything I decided to contribute towards their savings as a bonus. I felt my mum needed the money more & didn't think it was fair to cut this amount down. We had these sort of disagreements over the way I spent my money fairly often, but I felt a sense of relief to no longer be dependent on him financially & to be in a position to contribute to household expenses & still have enough left over to do as I pleased. Forward to our life in the UK. I am currently a SHM again. I had intended to start working this year but fell pregnant unexpectedly & have decided to put work on hold till after baby is born. Hubby now gives me £150 a month for myself. He pays for all household expenses so I can use my money as I please, but I tend to end up spending it on things for kids or house that I know he would have an issue purchasing on his own. For example, I bought a shoe cabinet which I love using my own money because he wasn't keen on getting one & I thought it was necessary in order to avoid a clutter of shoes at the door. It's worked beautifully & looks great, but cost me £189...so clearly my monthly allowance is not taking me very far! I recently purchased a helium tank and decorations for a party we are throwing at our place & while I always use my own card for this type of thing because I know hubby will kick up a fuss over this, for some reason, it would not accept my card details (I have plenty credit) so I ended up using hubby's card which it accepted fine! When he found out I spent £80 pounds on this, he was furious! He made a comment about being the only person earning in the house. This has really upset me because I hardly ever spend any of his money & it's not like I'm sitting on my butt being lazy & not wanting to work...I do everything around the house including the cooking on most days (although not to his satisfaction) & had every intention of returning to work had it not been for my pregnancy! (We both agreed I should wait as although a second income would be nice, he earns a good salary already so can do without mine) We are in no way struggling financially. We just bought a 5 bedroom home in a lovely area & hubby has been talking about getting himself a brand new car worth over £30 000 in the next few months, so I really can't stand it when he overreacts when it comes to money issues. As explained, I practically never use his money! For example, I bought all our Xmas presents last year for our family & my sisters family with my own savings. I knew he would argue over the amount spent if I used his card/money, so I chose to use mine instead. It disappoints me that I sacrificed so much to make the move here...a lifestyle I loved, work I loved, friends I loved, a salary that gave me the freedom to enjoy the luxuries hubby could afford but wouldn't let me have....I gave it all up to make him happy & yet I still have to put up with his "It's my money...I'm the sole breadwinner" attitude! I know some people might think, well why spend that much on decor, but I hardly ever have parties & wanted this event to be special. I was quite happy to have him take that money off the £150 a month he gives me, which I told him, so I don't see why it's such a big deal. Won't cost him anything more that way! Besides, apart from purchasing a few maternity clothes (which hubby bought as my Mother's Day gift) I almost never spend money on myself...I can count the number of times I've shopped for myself over the last 5 years on one hand! (Even when I worked, I splashed out on gifts for hubby, kids & other family members, but rarely treated myself!) Maybe I am being unreasonable, but I don't particularly enjoy my life here...I find myself constantly wishing I hadn't agreed to this move, and when my hubby behaves this way over trivial matters, it just makes me regret my move here, and losing my financial freedom even more! Do you think I'm being unreasonable to feel disappointed & hurt by his comments regarding being the only salary earner???