To get irrationally irritated by adults referring to themselves as 'mummy'

(78 Posts)
Stuckonthebaby Mon 02-Jun-14 14:51:53

Now I don't mean to their kids - my kids call me mummy and I refer to myself as mummy to them when relevant.

BUT it really grinds my gears when adult women refer to themselves as 'mummies' to other adult women. Try and arrange a night out with the girls; it's a 'mummies' night out; introducing yourself to another woman at playgroup; 'Hi I'm X, Y's mummy; talking to about parenting on social media; 'becoming a mummy is the most amazing thing ever' - blah, blah, blah.

It drives me crazy. I don't know why. Maybe it's just so childish and twee. I can't stand it. Can't say I've ever heard dads referring to themselves in this way. AIBU?

nutellacake Mon 02-Jun-14 15:01:43

I agree! I hate it when I go to the GP and the doctor says, 'and you must be Mum?' Someone commented in another thread on the same issue adding that her DH always gets called by name.

It's like when you become a mum all other aspects of your personality disappear, including your name and title! I used to get referred to by my title (Dr) now it's just mum, in lots of places. DH is still Dr of course'

At work my colleague refers to herself as mummy /mother in all possible scenarios: 'do you have a pen I can borrow?' 'Yes! I'm much more organised since I became a mummy!' Alright....

meddie Mon 02-Jun-14 15:35:11

Yup makes me twitch a little too, but I really dislike couples who refer to each other as mummy and daddy.
"Does mummy want another drinky?"
"ooh yes please daddy".

notaflamingclue Mon 02-Jun-14 15:41:25

I hate it too. Makes my teeth itch.

squoosh Mon 02-Jun-14 15:50:49

YANBU.

It's twee and yuck and what's more it's a slippery slope. Before you know it you'll be referring to your husband as 'Daddy'. And that is WRONG.

Nocturne123 Mon 02-Jun-14 15:58:51

It's horrible ! Squoosh that made me laugh

TheSarcasticFringehead Mon 02-Jun-14 16:09:58

Calling your husband Daddy? shock

YANBU, by the way.

allhailqueenmab Mon 02-Jun-14 16:24:50

YANBU.

I remember the first time I heard it: my NCT group were all gathered with our tiny babies, mainlining tea and coffee, and one of the women refused some cake, chirping to her 6 week old (like she gave a fuck) "because Mummy has to get back into her skinny jeans, doesn't she?" it slightly blew my mind with its grossness.

I know some people who will call themselves Mummy at every possible opportunity and I think it is weird; however I also think it is weird how I struggle to see myself that way and in its own way a bit dysfunctional.

I know one dickhead who always called his wife "mummy" after they had children, whether the children were there or not. The first time I heard it, I had no idea whom he was talking about. He was telling me that they always run out of wine before the end of the month because "mummy" has been opening a bottle nearly every night. (rolled eyes) I thought: why the hell is your mother coming over nearly every night and drinking your wine? When I realised he meant his wife, that, along with the rolling of the eyes, made me think "no wonder she needs a drink, living with you".

They are now separated.

Morgause Mon 02-Jun-14 16:30:18

it isn't getting irrationally irritated. It is totally rational irritation.

YANBU

ToAvoidConversation Mon 02-Jun-14 16:35:24

YANBU and it's generally their answer for fucking everything too. There's at least two women I know who do this and it drives me bonkers. It's actually made me stop seeing them as much.

howrudeforme Mon 02-Jun-14 16:37:19

See what you mean - I'm almost 50 and call my mum mummy and I think that's OK. I try my best not to speak to my dc in the third prerson and that's where adults calling themselves mummy comes from.

But I refer to my very old female parent as mummy - always. It's a language thing.

The word I really hate to hear is mamma - from an adult. But again, it's a language thing.

AllTheUsernamesAreTaken Mon 02-Jun-14 16:37:45

I went out with a woman who lives nearby, whom I have become friendly with since becoming a Mum, because we have similar age babies. She invited me out for her birthday with a group of other women. I knew she had met many of the others because they'd been at parenting and baby groups together but I thought it was a good a excuse as any for a night out so went along. It was very enjoyable night out.............. apart from one person who kept saying "it's a mummies night out" and (to the waitress) "can we have another bottle of wine please, we're in need of it, we're all mummies."

I had to resist the urge to shake her whilst simultaneously vomiting on her!

littleducks Mon 02-Jun-14 16:38:04

Surely the playgroup thing makes sense though? Unless the child in question is a teeny tiny baby?

IhavetowaitHOWlong Mon 02-Jun-14 16:38:06

YANBU

Though I have to say I also sometimes get a bit twitchy when grown women refer to going out with other grown women as a "night out with the girls" wink

squoosh Mon 02-Jun-14 16:40:48

Oh I don't mind 'night out with the girls'. My mother refers to her friends as girls and they're all in their 70's. Far be it from me to contradict her!

slightlyconfused85 Mon 02-Jun-14 16:45:04

I think yab a bit u. I sometimes say mummy friends, as they are the people I met through being a mummy. My other friends are uni friends, or brighton friends or whatever. I don't think this is really worth getting worked up over people all have different ways of expressing themselves.

calculatorsatdawn Mon 02-Jun-14 16:46:20

I think one of the first things I ever read on MN was an AIBU about a women at the school gates handing out business cards with 'X's mummy' on them and a whole thread worth of OMFG followed. These are my kind of people I thought. (the thought of the business cards still makes me shudder)

www.vistaprint.co.uk/mommy-cards.aspx?GP=6%2f2%2f2014+11%3a45%3a56+AM&GPS=3199439100&GNF=0

YesAnastasia Mon 02-Jun-14 16:47:29

I do it. All the time. I think I do it because I'm proud of it & keep saying it because I like that I'm a mummy shrug

It's also validating myself because it's actually all I do.

I agree 100% with this. Worse still is when you're referred to as a mummy before you even have any offspring. In hospital with hyperemesis at 16 weeks pregnant, I was taken in for a scan and the sonographer said to the nurse "turn the screen around for mummy!" grin I was looking around the room to see where my mum was. It freaked me out a lot.

CrohnicallyHungry Mon 02-Jun-14 16:55:33

nutella I wouldn't mind it if they referred to you as "[child]'s mum"/asked "are you her mum?" - assuming it's an appointment for the child (since they wouldn't necessarily have your name and title on file, and they can't even assume you have the same surname).

But there is something really irritating about a health professional referring to you just as "mum". As in "put this on please, mum" "can I see [child]'s chest please, mum?". I'm not your mum! The only person who can legitimately call me "mum" is my DD, so stop it, please! (Though I'm not offended when a small child accidentally calls me "mum" in class)

Stuckonthebaby Mon 02-Jun-14 16:57:07

slightlyconfused what you've just said is exactly what I mean. They're people you've met since you've become a mummy - now if you'd said, since you've become a mum, to me that is a totally normal adult way of referring to yourself in your new role and the people that you've have thus met. Since I've become a mummy - that's exactly the phrase that makes my teeth itch. And don't get me wrong - I do occasionally refer to myself as mummy in the third person to my little DC 'no leave it alone, that's mummy's juice wine ' but I'd never ever ever say I was DC's mummy to another adult. Wrong. Just wrong.

Stuckonthebaby Mon 02-Jun-14 16:59:18

calculators grin Oh. My. God.

minipie Mon 02-Jun-14 17:04:36

See Stuck, I wouldn't even say "since I've become a mum"

I'd say "since I've had a child" or "since having my daughter"

"since I've become a mum/mummy" implies I became a whole different person when I gave birth.

OnaPromise Mon 02-Jun-14 17:06:25

I don't understand talking to your children in the third person, especially when they're seven - have friends who do this.

I don't think I know anyone who calls themselves mummy to other adults though. If I heard someone say this I would think it very odd.

whatsagoodusername Mon 02-Jun-14 17:07:17

My SIL's DH refers to our MIL as "Granny". Makes me cringe.

Fine if the DC are about, or talking to the DC, but he does it all the time. He and SIL were married for years before having DC, too, so presumably he used her name before having them.

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