Turning up after birth shocker

(28 Posts)
Sleepysheepsleeping Mon 26-May-14 03:20:26

Friend just gave birth to her second very fast, baby born at home with just her husband there. They live in quite a remote area and so while her husband was on the phone to I guess paramedics she also called a friend, let's call her Angela, who lives nearby. Angela raced round and got there before paramedics/midwife but they turned up shortly afterwards and mum and baby all fine and well. New mum then was being examined and delivering placenta etc so Angela let herself out.

Angela called/texted a couple of mutual friends straight away incl me along the lines of oh my god guess what just happened but explained all ok. Angela had been scared witless so was a bit of a debrief for her too although she's now kicking herself for telling anyone before new mum but was basically in shock as you would be if friend rang you screaming and you ran round to help deliver baby!!!

Anyway, another friend who's local lets call her Sally, rung Angela after receiving text and interrogated her as to what had happened. Now Angela and new mum are v close and can definitely see why new mum phoned Angela as she's great in a crisis but Sally was clearly put out that new mum had called Angela and not her even though Sally and new mum are not particularly close out of the group of friends and actively professed dislike and stopped talking to each other not v long ago!!

Sally said she was just about to go round to see "if everything was OK", Angela said I really wouldn't, paramedics there she's just delivered placenta, MW is there with gas and air for stitches she's fine but it's like she's still in delivery I went because she called me before everyone turned up. Sally went v quiet and since found out on Facebook she went straight round anyway! References to getting to play midwife and 'wondering the next morning if it was it all a dream' (no, she didn't just walk in accidentally she knew new mum had just had the baby!!). Angela and I are outraged at her cheek, think she went as felt left out of the drama but I am sitting on my hands so as not to get involved and potentially overshadow new mum's birth by a load of us saying to Sally, Are you insane!! Are we being unreasonable in thinking Sally was waaaaaay out of order!

hakunafrittata Mon 26-May-14 03:41:57

Yeah Sally is a twat.

FunnyFoot Mon 26-May-14 03:44:46

This ^

Doinmummy Mon 26-May-14 03:48:23

Unbelievable ! The need for some people to be in the thick of it regardless of other peoples feelings or needs is astounding .

ThaneOfScunthorpe Mon 26-May-14 03:48:28

She sounds like one of those people who like every event to be about her. I hope Sally slipped on the placenta.

NoodleOodle Mon 26-May-14 04:34:49

Facebook Sally saying she may still be sleep walking as she obviously dreamt her invitation to the birth. But, not to worry, the people mum invited had done well helping as asked so all the drama was over by the time she got there. Apart from the drama of how to politely remove the birth gate crasher.

DesertRose1958 Mon 26-May-14 04:36:38

You can go two ways with this and one is to ignore Sally and her Facebook blowing, or confront her as Noodle suggested and put her gas at a peep.

schokolade Mon 26-May-14 06:55:55

Angela and Sally both as bad as each other IMO. I bet neither would get an 'invite' if there could be a do-over!!

Thumbwitch Mon 26-May-14 07:00:51

Totally understand "Angela" needing to debrief - it's a reaction to the stress hormones (apparently oxytocin = a stress hormone as well as all the other stuff it does in pg and bfing, and it's also a "social" hormone, so it's the one that drives us to seek company when stressed).

Shame she phoned "Sally" though; that was a bit bloody daft, given that she must have known that "Sally" and new mum weren't on speakers, surely? However, she could be forgiven given shock/stress reaction.

What is not in any way understandable nor forgivable is "Sally"'s need to barge in on a very private situation, purely so she could then be part of the drama. That is shockingly bad manners, poor form, and Just Plain Rude.

If I'd been newmum, I'd have screamed at her to get the fuck out of my house. I'm kind of hoping that's what happened, actually...

bedraggledmumoftwo Mon 26-May-14 07:08:29

Woe

bedraggledmumoftwo Mon 26-May-14 07:10:06

Sorry, wow! Cant believe they let her in, i would say in that situation they should turn everyone away unless the mum is asking for them!

wowfudge Mon 26-May-14 07:13:42

There are some strange people in this world aren't there? A lesson learned I'd say about telling this other woman anything.

DizzyKipper Mon 26-May-14 07:15:23

I'd be livid if some one turned up at the birth of my baby because they wanted a piece of the action/prestige, YANBU. However it's down to the new mum how they actually want to handle it. Whether the feelings are made public or not I'm sure all of your friends will know how outrageous Sally has been and not be happy with her, she's really shown herself up.

Sleepysheepsleeping Mon 26-May-14 07:21:03

Sally and new mum do speak now, they just fell out a while ago (I think Sally took offence at something) and they are just not v close now although saying that I've just remembered they were meeting up a bit prior to birth. fairly sure she wasnt issued with an open invite though! Angela just texted the small group of friends who live near new mum, who could have predicted Sally would have taken it upon herself to go round there! Unfortunately it seems that Sally was welcomed in as it was all so crazy at the house but dont know more than that.

MidniteScribbler Mon 26-May-14 07:55:54

Sally sounds like a twerp, but Angela also needs to learn that not everything is an occasion for a group text message.

wowfudge Mon 26-May-14 08:38:51

Was it only me, in my early morning daze, who thought this was a post about something weird happening to a placenta?

indigo18 Mon 26-May-14 08:48:04

Yet another Baby News on Facebook - with extra twist. 'Overshadow' the birth by sticking your noses in??? Makes me yawn.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 26-May-14 08:50:55

Sally is very selfish, some people like to be the centre of things

Does Sally have children of her own?

Sleepysheepsleeping Mon 26-May-14 09:37:52

visualise she has 3 and was v strict about visiting times!!!

BerniesBurneze Mon 26-May-14 10:01:38

Angela was awful. I cpuld understand needed to tell someone but she was a right drama llama texting everyone - especially Sally who doesn't even like the new Mum.

Sally was unbelievable though!!

UncleT Mon 26-May-14 10:35:03

Call her out on it. If she puts bollocks like that on Facebook, reply with the truth and let others know that she's basically making up rubbish to grab attention.

Casmama Mon 26-May-14 10:47:21

Reply to her comment-"can't believe you went round knowing she had just delivered her baby- I would have chased you lol"

I think you all need to back off from this situation.

Let Mum sort out any issues that she has, if she has any, with both Sally and Angela.

Sally may have been ushered straight out by Dad, or a MW. The whole thing might be a fabrication.

Angela, May have needed to des tress, but she should if don't that by calling the closest person to her, does she not have a DP, or Mum/Sis.

I would always phone a family member.

How stressful is it, if you have children, though, it's more if a high (I've been at planned and unplanned births).

She really shouldn't of let lose on a group message.

ladypete Mon 26-May-14 19:46:53

Are you Angela?

Sally was ridiculous!

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