I'm not just talking about romance. I'd honestly love some good friends right now, who wanted to spend time with me, who sometimes contacted me first rather than it always being me approaching them. I don't know what is so wrong with me.
I had a therapist until recently, and we had a great connection. We got very close and started to say 'I love you' (sort of like a maternal thing, my own mother has no time for me) and I thought that for once someone did really love me. She showed me so much love, letting me call her whenever I needed to and always having time for me.
But recently she has been disinterested and a bit frosty as well. So whatever I do that puts people off, she finally saw it as well. But I have no idea what it is that I do that's so horrible I'm so bewildered and sad, I don't know what to do anymore. I tried to get help, and really put my trust in this therapist, but I feel like I can't trust her anymore. Although I do sometimes exhibit borderline personality disorder behaviour (you wouldn't know, I am a very private person so I control it, but I do sometimes self harm and feel so worthless and depressed) so it could be bpd making me not trust her. I just don't know.
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AIBU?
To wonder why nobody, not even a therapist, can love me at all
80 replies
YearningHeartache · 24/05/2014 23:50
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