to think that DD needs to stop crapping her pants?

(127 Posts)
brdgrl Mon 19-May-14 21:52:54

Every night. EVERY night.
She's almost 4. She has been toilet trained for a year.
Every night.
I sit her on toilet. She insists she doesn't need to and can't go.
I give up eventually and put her to bed. She promises, again, to call me if she needs the toilet. Time passes. Sometimes I check in every so often, but it is always the same - nope, can't go, I'll tell you when I am ready.

Then....she calls. I go. She has not only had a poo, but has undressed herself and tried to clean it up. I spend next twenty minutes cleaning up poo. Tonight I cleaned poo off the wall, off her, her pjs, her sheets, a dish towel that she'd used to try and wipe herself (ok, that one I just threw in the bin).

She gets rash. That makes her try to hold it.

She is not asleep when this happens; in fact, she can't fall asleep until afterwards.

I try not to be too cross, so as to make her more anxious about it and maybe make things worse - she gets anxious about me being cross - but I want her to know it has to stop.

Have tried a reward chart - this has worked with her for everything else so far - no luck.

Every. single. night.

She completely understands. But she doesn't seem able to stop this habit.

brdgrl Tue 27-May-14 00:40:49

Thanks, all!
I really do think thrush is a possibility, and will be quizzing dr about that too.
Another good night tonight! Hooray for the box. Blowing bubbles sounds like a fantastic idea - thanks.

Imnotbeingyourbestfriendanymor Mon 26-May-14 23:12:08

Not sure if you have ruled it out but the rash sounds to me like it could be thrush. My niece had similar and despite having had babies and previous cases of thrush neither my sister nor I recognised it in that instance! Might be worth ruling out? Best wishes to your little girl.

SuburbanRhonda Mon 26-May-14 23:09:01

X-post, erin blush

SuburbanRhonda Mon 26-May-14 23:01:17

Another toilet tip - buy some blowing bubbles and let her blow them while she's sitting on the toilet. It helps to relax the muscles which makes it easier for the poo to come out smile

Good luck at the GP's tomorrow smile

erin99 Mon 26-May-14 21:19:21

Oops sorry, didn't read to the end! Great to hear things are improving OP.

erin99 Mon 26-May-14 21:18:23

Www.eric.org.uk . Get her to a dr for some movicol. Get her in a pooing habit 20 mins after tea, give her a pullup or whatever but most importantly get her in a good position with her feet well supported and knees higher than hips. A kiddy footstool by the loo might not be enough - use a bigger one or put a phone directory underneath. Potty could work well.

Then a few mins privacy. Reading can help, or blowing bubbles. Stick her on a potty in front of tHe tv and leave the room, whatever she would like. Talk to her, get her involved in the solution and let her think it's her idea.

brdgrl Mon 26-May-14 20:46:22

Well, once you've had your feet in stirrups, with the world and his wife having a look, your perspective changes
Very true.
I even sing in public, since having a baby!

AuditAngel Mon 26-May-14 09:18:30

Well, once you've had your feet in stirrups, with the world and his wife having a look, your perspective changes confused

differentnameforthis Mon 26-May-14 02:05:32

I know...the things mums talk about. We have no shame ;)

AuditAngel Sun 25-May-14 19:21:12

Glad to hear things are improving.

RandomMess Sun 25-May-14 19:11:23

Glad you've made some progress already smile

brdgrl Sun 25-May-14 16:19:23

I never thought I'd be sharing so much about poo habits! People warned me it was part of being a mum and I did not want to believe it! smile

differentnameforthis Sun 25-May-14 16:11:52

never thought I'd be happy to hear about someone else's poo habits smile

I'm glad brdgrl, hopefully you will get it sorted soon.

passmethewineplease Sat 24-May-14 12:12:24

Nice update OP. My daughter is exactly the same, if you are prescribed movicol don't do what I did and stop it too early.

brdgrl Sat 24-May-14 12:08:44

That's great, cows
She has her dr's appt on Tuesday. In the meantime I've been carrying on with the feet on box (definitely helping) and with not really saying much about it at night. I think the box trick has helped - about half the time now, she's able to do it in the toilet and that avoids the overnight accident. I'm cleaning her up with lotion instead of water and that helps too. smile

cowsarescary Sat 24-May-14 08:39:57

How are things, OP? We have Movicol here now

sunshinecity17 Wed 21-May-14 12:55:25

the poor little mite can't feel it that's why!She most likely has faecal impaction causing her rectum to be distended and insensitive to the normal signals
get her to her GP and in the meantime put her in a nappy/pullups at bedtime!

JSG07 Wed 21-May-14 12:24:19

As many others have said, Movicol is very good. DD2 has been on it for years for severe constipation and it's really helped her. She used to withold and had lots of problems when toilet-training (and sometimes even now, she's 7) but Movicol does work. You can give whatever dose you think is needed and work it out from there. DD used to have half a sachet/day but we've recently increased it to 1 per day.
Good luck! I know how trying it can be.... x

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla Wed 21-May-14 10:50:33

The box will help! I watched a program on victorian health and it said something about elevating your legs increases bowel movement. Glad it worked for you! Good luck with all poo related antics in the future, brdgrl

brdgrl Wed 21-May-14 10:04:56

cows, I know, people have been so helpful. I hope it works out for you and DD too.

We've always bathed DD in the morning, it just has been easier on the schedule because of my work and dinner, but lately have been thinking we need to switch to evenings anyway - this is one more reason to give that a go, I think.

She made it through the night! (She still took ages and ages to fall asleep, but that's a side issue.) I'm not jumping to conclusion that it's going to be that easy, don't worry, and she's got her gp appt, but it was nice to feel that there are things we can do. Will ask about the continence nurse, too, in case things don't improve.

So, shonajay sounds like if we end up with Movical it might be best to start it at the beginning of a long weekend!

That nappy rash thread is helpful. Her rash isn't quite so bad as the one described (how awful!) but it's similarly raw.

Thank you all sooooo much for the kindness and the advice. thanks

cowsarescary Wed 21-May-14 09:38:49

This has opened my eyes! My dd is 7, and has occasionally had smeared pants since she was 4. Maybe every 10 days or so. She poos every day or couple of days usually, and it had never occurred to me that she could be constipated - I assumed she was trying to put off her poohs so she didn't have to stop what she was doing, so left things too late on these occasions.

She's never had hard poos, never had any pain or splits. But she has said to me recently that she doesn't feel this poo coming into her pants, or feel the need to go to the loo when it happens, and I reckon she must have an intermittent blockage. I'm off to the GP with her, so thank you all.

brdgrl: one thing I have noticed with my daughter: she will sit on the loo before her bath in the evening and say, 'I don't need a poo'. After being in the bath for a few minutes, she will jump out and have a whopper! I think the relaxation does it. I wonder if your dd would benefit from a bath before bedtime to get things moving??

VanGogh Wed 21-May-14 08:06:10

brdgrl your update about the box, your positivity and "can do" has made my morning!

Any further accidents last night?

Shonajay Wed 21-May-14 07:43:14

I was admitted to hospital recently for bowel impaction due to morphine use ( I had cancer). Just be aware that movicol can mean sudden and uncontrollable diah, as you get used to the dose. I was on eight sachets a day but omg couldn't leave the house!

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