To join fat club or put gastric surgery on the credit card?

(79 Posts)
AtYourCervix Tue 13-May-14 17:25:22

I am fat. Very fat. Much fatter than anyone should be.

I've tried everything and failed miserably. I am a miserable fat failure.

So. The option.

1. Fat club.

2. Surgery.

I did sw fat club about a hundred years ago and lost a few stone but over the last 9 years it's steadily piled back on plus more.

I have an hour to convince myself.

trixymalixy Tue 13-May-14 23:08:38

My sister lost 8 stone through gastric band hypnotherapy. She's kept it all off for must be 2 years now.

MistressDeeCee Tue 13-May-14 22:44:51

Size 20, OP? Thought you were going to say bigger than that!! I hope you take all the good advice on this thread. Don't do the surgery without trying your best at fat club first. I am not so overweight but do put on weight easily. Im crap with food. I ate little and often, used dumbells and mini-trampoline at home I wont do anything that impacts on my joints. Being able to exercise whilst watching tv really helped me. As well as 15 min exercise segments on youtube. Absolute godsend. What about finding a fellow friend or MNetter who also wants to diet? you can do it

MooseyMouse Tue 13-May-14 21:07:42

I'll join you. I need to lose some weight.

JsOtherHalf Tue 13-May-14 20:42:46

I have been doing 5:2 for a few months, and have dropped a dress size. I am a similar size.

Worth considering?

EssexMummy123 Tue 13-May-14 20:41:31

Paul Mckenna has a new book/cd out about emotional eating and also a previous hypnotic gastric band book - would something like that be of help?

A mixture of WW and CBT helped me

Maverick66 Tue 13-May-14 20:39:33

I have two friends one male one female. Male friend was 29 stone and had gastric bypass on NHS he went on to loose 15 stone - he has regained 5 stone and has to work hard at maintaining his weight. My female friend was border line qualifying for gastric surgery but paid privately £9,000.00 and had a gastric by pass she lost 3.5 stone and has regained almost 2 stone. it has been a long road for them both. As op's have said gastric bypass/band is a tool. It does not address any issues you have with food and therefore you tend to fall into original eating patterns. I too need to loose weight - 5 stone sad but slimming clubs drive me nuts and yet if I don't join one I can't get motivated. As others have said exercise seems to be key and perhaps a 30 minute walk every day would be a start and maybe lead you to look at other aspects of your life such as diet. I've also read good things about hypnosis perhaps that would be worth a go? Plenty of apps available to download . Good Luck smile

snowmummy Tue 13-May-14 20:31:08

You are not a failure. Be kinder to yourself.

Try the diet and consider counselling to get to the root of your overeating.

Lots of luck.

dawndonnaagain Tue 13-May-14 20:09:19

I am losing a steady six pounds a month with WW. I started at a size 22, I'm nearly an 18, now. Started in March.

ApocalypseThen Tue 13-May-14 20:06:34

Can I just add another vote for the hypno gastric band? It really does work and it's really cheap. Honestly, you can start tonight and see how you go. It works for me.

Lemiserableoldgimmer Tue 13-May-14 20:06:09

Atyourcervix - you're a midwife no?

I noticed loads and loads of very overweight midwives when I was on placement at a local hospital maternity unit.

I wonder if the stress and exhaustion of your job (are you a hospital midwife?) is undermining your ability to lose weight.

I eat when I'm tired and stressed. I can eat and eat and eat.

My new weight loss plan involves me going to bed earlier, taking more exercise, having a rest when I feel tired, and doing lots and lots of relaxation. Oh, plus eating fruit and veg only until dinner time (plus shed loads of strong coffee). No cake/biscuits/shite except maybe once or twice a month. I've lost 10lbs so far, in about 3 weeks. If I'm tired I eat. I eat the same food as the rest of the family in the evening, but a small portion. Like a child's portion. It works for me as it's not too complicated.

oneperfectlimousine Tue 13-May-14 19:26:17

You'd still have to change your eating habits if you had the surgery. What about hypnosis - not the app, but someone you can speak to, discuss concerns with and get some support from. This is the sort of thing thats available hypnotichealing.co.uk/course/ so a few options.

TidyDancer Tue 13-May-14 19:01:25

OP, I don't know how much you weigh in pounds, but I was once a bigger clothes size than you. At my peak, I wore a size 24-26 and weighed over 19 stone. I lost approx 9+ stone. No gastric bands here. I did it with weight watchers (I needed to keep track and that was the best way to do it) and I'm now using no refined sugar to maintain. It's not an obsessive way of eating, I still eat fruit and carbs, it's just what works for me.

Good luck with whatever you do, but please don't resort to surgery without at least trying the healthy eating way first.

grumblepuss Tue 13-May-14 18:50:20

Can you be totally honest with what you're eating?
Can you keep a food diary? There are apps which will help. My fitness pal is the best known.

Once you know what you're eating could you reduce the quantity? Instead of three slices of toast with butter, cut it to one slice.

Walk a few miles a day, work out what this equals in food?

Don't diet, but educate yourself into what you're eating, what that really means in energy. Look at what energy you're expending throughout the day. Find a balance.

The old adage ... Eat less, move more.

CMOTDibbler Tue 13-May-14 18:46:51

I think you need some help with sorting out your relationship with food, yourself and your body before you do anything else tbh. Because without addressing that you can lose weight, but you'll put it back on.

I have a lovely friend who has lost 8 stone 5 times in her life so far - Atkins, Slimming World, and more recently Lighter Life. And put it all back on as she eats when shes sad, when shes happy, when she wants a hug etc etc etc and none of this breaks that, or addresses why shes miserable most of the time. Breaks my heart.

Lookrightnow Tue 13-May-14 18:38:33

Sorry but lots of people are wrong about bands on here...

Risks of surgery shouldn't be underrated however.

grocklebox Tue 13-May-14 18:36:56

what about a hypno gastric band?

Theodorous Tue 13-May-14 18:36:49

I had a gastric balloon. Cost 2 thousand pounds and lost mega weight and kept it off. It's non invasive and took about 20 minutes. I don't agree with the endless discouragement on here for any type of medical treatment. Life is short, better to live it than spend it miserable and sitting in smelly church halls being barked at by an instructor called Maureen who lost 42 stone and is now selling rip off diet products.

fridgepants Tue 13-May-14 18:35:25

I am one of those Good Fatties in that I have a medical reason for being bigger - the medication I take is notorious for weight gain. I have still experienced fat-shaming by medical folk - one I went to about Depo when I was 19 who started grilling me about what I ate on a daily basis as I'd gained weight since the last shot, and my old GP who told me, in the middle of an appointment about something else, 'you know we can give you medication to make you lose weight - it's good although it does give you runny poos' hmm A friend of mine has multiple health issues and occasionally encounters a doctor who responds to all her concerns with 'But did you know you're a big fatty fat and that's why you're having anxiety attacks and not sleeping?'

That and all the conflicting messages about what is or isn't healthy or a good diet makes it really hard to know what to do. Once you decide you're a greedy pig - and I doubt you are - it's hard to think it's possible to make lasting changes. I'm trying to get over that mindset at the moment - eating when I feel hungry only, making sure I'm eating something balanced with protein to fill me up, and trying to be aware of what and why I'm eating compulsively. I've also taken up exercise. I'm trying to think of it as a 'being healthier' thing rather than a 'stop being fat' thing - it feels then more like a positive change rather than punishment/deprivation.

Lookrightnow Tue 13-May-14 18:35:01

Oh and turns out I didn't need therapy. I was just greedy!

Not suggesting you are btw.

Lookrightnow Tue 13-May-14 18:34:03

I've had a gastric band. Paid for it 3years ago.

Best thing I've ever done.

Healthy, no excess skin - cheaper food shops too!

Nobody Knowsley I had a band. Tis great. No judgement.

Moreisnnogedag Tue 13-May-14 18:25:18

Personally I think you've made the right choice but I think you might need a bit more support (?therapist if you're willing)

You shouldn't talk about yourself like this. You are not repulsive nor pathetic or anything like that. Being overweight is multi-factorial and exploring the reasons for why you are overweight is as important as watching what you eat.

Good luck!

colleysmill Tue 13-May-14 18:24:08

Where I am the local provider for support for weight management is WW and you can get 4 months free on the nhs. And any hcp can refer not just GPS so it might be worth asking the question.

Good luck

Sirzy Tue 13-May-14 18:23:55

My relationship with weight, food and myself is pretty fucked

I know you have said you don't want to, but your GP may well be able to refer you to people who can help tackle this side of things which could well be a massive chunk of the battle.

Until you can change your relationship with food it is going to be hard to overcome the problem. I was lucky that I was able to tackle it myself through sheer determination and have dropped 5 stone and 5 dress sizes in a year BUT it isn't easy and takes a whole lifestyle change and I still have weak moments.

I am part of a closed group on FB for the Charity HOOP (Helping Overcome Obesity Problems) and have found that very helpful for the kick up the arse/celebrate achievement/support side of things. Everyone is at various points in their weight loss journey and very understanding.

Pandora452 Tue 13-May-14 18:21:11

Oops. Should have refreshed, sorry!

BravePotato Tue 13-May-14 18:20:51

Ditch the self loathing.

Self loathing, like fat shaming, do not work, if anything they sabotage you!

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