Birthing partner

(4 Posts)
dippylongstocking Mon 12-May-14 00:11:40

My best friend, who I have known for nearly 20 years, has asked me to be her birthing partner (baby due Sept). Her husband will be there also, but she wants someone with her who has actually experienced childbirth.
I'm flattered that she has asked me, but i really don't want to do it. I get very panicky in stressful situations and i don't want to add to the stress of labor by being 'me'.
AIBU to say no? And does anyone have any advice on how to word the refusal without seeming like a complete bitch? (If you think i am a bitch for this, its ok, please do say, because i don't want to upset her)

DoJo Mon 12-May-14 00:16:55

She's your best friend - talk to her about it, voice your concerns and remind her of what you can be like. Would you want to do it if you weren't worried about panicking? Is it possible that she sees a side of you which you don't really give yourself credit for? It sounds as though you are putting her needs first even at this stage, and that might be the kind of instinct that has prompted her to ask you to be there.

brokenhearted55a Mon 12-May-14 00:21:39

YANBU to say no.

Did you have a traumatic birth experience? Perhaps say you would find it stressful.

book a holiday last minute.....

Bean89 Mon 12-May-14 00:22:08

I mean, the midwives probably have some experience re childbirth too. I would hope...

I joke, genuinely though I'm about to have my first baby and whilst I've only asked my partner to be there, if I had asked anyone else and they explained they're not very good in a crisis I would definitely politely rescind my invite. I'm sure if you explain to her that the whole point of a birth partner is to keep you calm whilst you're in labour and you feel you wouldn't be able to keep calm yourself she will understand.

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