DH just 'cleaned' the kitchen

(130 Posts)
nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes Sun 11-May-14 18:38:42

Fills the sink with washing up liquid, puts everything that wouldn't go in the dishwasher straight in there (dirty). This is a pet hate of mine. Means that from the off, everything is being washed in dirty water. So I offered to take over, partly because I'm rankled but also coz his washing up skills are somewhat lacking. Then - he dunks the cloth in the dirty water to clean the kitchen table.

Then when I said that cloth wasn't clean, he got the hump.

AIBU? We've got a 2yo and I'm pg. Hygiene is important to me. Should I have given him the medal he seems to think he deserves?

CoffeeTea103 Sun 11-May-14 18:41:13

Yanbu that would annoy me too. I'm a real stickler for hygiene especially bathroom and kitchen. I just rather do it myself.

Howstricks Sun 11-May-14 18:45:25

Somwthing I learnt when dd was small was that my dh would do things differently but it didn't mean it was wrong. As long as it wasn't outrageously dangerous I bit my lip.

MrsLettuce Sun 11-May-14 18:50:10

FFS, either let him just get on with the housework. If it's not to your standards then do it yourself. Following him about with a constant stream of criticism is not very nice, even if he is blatantly doing it wrong.

Bearbehind Sun 11-May-14 18:50:21

How do you get dirty stuff clean if you don't put them in the water?

Nocomet Sun 11-May-14 18:52:16

Having conducted a 23 year experiment on the effects of only worrying about raw meat and otherwise being a slatten, I can write the following conclusion.

Stomach bugs, adults and DDs, far fewer than the school average. Vrry often no one here gets ill even when 1/2 of school are ill.

Cases of food poisoning 1, on holiday from tepid prawn soup served in a resturant

NearTheWindymill Sun 11-May-14 18:54:01

Telling them it's wrong gives them licence not to do it again. Say thank you so much that was lovely I really appreciated it. The two/three days later you tell how great they were again. Then another two/three days later you do some washing up and show them how to rinse like your mum taught you. Then they know. Then two or three days later when he happens to be in the kitchen you talk it all out as you go along. "Now I've got rid of the dirty water and I'm just rinsing out the cloth. I'm going to give it a good rinse and woosh it round with a bit of washing up liquid and spot of liquid cleaner before I wipe the table. Do you know i read an article the other day about how this is best for the little ones and most hygienic - I used to do it a different way but now I know better - do you know what I mean DH".

They are men. You have to make them think the best way is all their idea.

speaks from bitter experience grin

WorraLiberty Sun 11-May-14 18:56:12

Surely he rinses off the soap suds, thus rinsing off the 'dirty' water?

WorraLiberty Sun 11-May-14 18:57:26

NearTheWindymill are you seriously suggesting any adult speaks to another that way? confused

MrsC1966 Sun 11-May-14 18:59:28

Yes, you should give him his medal - he's trying to help out. I wonder why you feel he should abide by your standards? Do you have an immunity disorder?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 11-May-14 19:01:09

Few men learn these simple tasks from their mothers as they were obviously out doing all sorts of exciting and dangerous boy-type stuff instead of helping Mummy. If things must be done your way (the correct way) then you need to explain how and why it's done like that. If, after you've done that and they still won't then you have a sabotager on your hands and will need to do it all yourself. Which is what they intended all along

AnyaKnowIt Sun 11-May-14 19:01:23

If my do spoke to me like that windymill, the dish cloth would be rammed up his arse.

I'm not seeing what he is doing 'wrong' op.

dottyaboutstripes Sun 11-May-14 19:01:46

My skills must also be lacking because that sounded fine to me. I would just be thinking myself lucky to have a willing dh (which I do, and I certainly think myself lucky)

MrsLettuce Sun 11-May-14 19:02:02

"Look DP, I get a bit nervy about using the dish cloth on the table it might be unreasonabe TBH, but, would you mind using these here disposable jobbies." Should do it.

No need to harass. No need to patronise. No need to manipulate.

YouTheCat Sun 11-May-14 19:05:02

Let him get on with it.

I'm with Nocomet here. The only time I ever used anti bac stuff we all ended up with noro for a week.

If you never allow your child (or you) to come into contact with germs, your body will have no way of coping with them.

skittycat Sun 11-May-14 19:08:01

YABU. Let him get on with the cleaning his way, without nagging at him that he's doing it 'wrong'.

MrsLettuce Sun 11-May-14 19:09:05

Yeah, I'm resolutely against anti-bac stuff in a home setting.

Haggisfish3 Sun 11-May-14 19:10:00

Yabu. And putting your family at more risk of becoming ill if you furiously anti bac everything as you don't then build up natural immunity.

Haggisfish3 Sun 11-May-14 19:11:33
ICanSeeTheSun Sun 11-May-14 19:11:33

How would you like it if you was told you was doing something wrong.

Since being unwell DH has had to do more housework and tbh even though it's not up to my standards I am grateful the basics are getting done.

Sandthorn Sun 11-May-14 19:11:37

Might not be how I'd have done it, but it's hardly crime if the century. If you think you need the cleaning done in a particular way, I think you're going to have to do it yourself.

Christ, unclench. That's how we do it in this house and we're all still alive. You sound like hard work, OP.

pebblyshit Sun 11-May-14 19:15:03

Fills the sink with washing up liquid, puts everything that wouldn't go in the dishwasher straight in there (dirty)

What is one supposed to do? How can you not put them in dirty if they are dirty?

hoppingmad Sun 11-May-14 19:15:45

Women assuming they perform household tasks better than men is a pet hate of mine.
It might not be the way you do it but it gets done just the same.

My dsis drives me mad like this, she's so bossy and controlling. Just let him get on with it.

Dh does things totally differently to me, I don't give 2 hoots - just one less thing for me to do

MrsLettuce Sun 11-May-14 19:16:47

pebblyshit - I think the OP would normally rinse things first if she were doing it. Either that or wash up under running water. That was my understanding, in any case...

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