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AIBU?

To use these things for second baby?

91 replies

dramajustfollowsme · 11/05/2014 17:52

I know I am a hoarder at heart. Growing up with my mum who was down to her last pennies because Dad was FA definitely resulted in me keeping things "just in case."
However, I have improved and have had a few big clear outs.
I kept all of Dd's baby clothes unless stained or stretched or bobbly.
Bibs I've kept unless really badly stained. I've kept all the muslins as I figure they are just used to mop up sick anyway.
Dd2 is due in a few weeks and I've got the stuff out and been washing it all. MiL keeps nothing. New everything, every season, including gardening equipment. Blush
She says I should have thrown all this stuff and baby toys, gym, playmat and jumperoo, out and buy all new. She also makes the point that the baby will get presents so I don't need to keep all the old things.
I say, the stuff is expensive and perfectly usable again. Do people really not use things again for subsequent children?
I would rather wait and see what, if anything we get as gifts then take it from there.
I just hate the idea of throwing them out and spending a fortune again.
She also went mental when she discovered that I keep doubles of gifts dd receive and re-gift them. I put £10 in her bankie each time I re-gift something. Apparently they are all her toys and she should get them all. No child needs 3 of the same dolls, imo.
I am just not sure if I am right or if my background is making me keep things unnecessarily.

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gymboywalton · 11/05/2014 17:53

Your mother in law is insane

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ICanSeeTheSun · 11/05/2014 17:55

Not at all.

I only got rid of baby items after DH snip.

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BertieBotts · 11/05/2014 17:55

It sounds fine. If you get new presents though, I would use them. I don't think you get as many presents for the second child.

I think it would be incredibly wasteful to throw away things like a playmat, jumperoo, toys etc! Most people I know keep these things for their second child.

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Haggisfish3 · 11/05/2014 17:56

Yanbu. Mil mad but I know plenty if people like it!

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HauntedNoddyCar · 11/05/2014 17:59

Yanbu. About any of it.

We had hand me downs for our eldest that the dc wore and have been passed on to a third family.

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Chocolateteabag · 11/05/2014 18:00

YANBU I did exactly the same as you for DS2
In fact he is wearing a pair of velour dungarees which were first worn by me 37 years ago - have then been worn by both of my DB's, DSis and Ds1.

Yes they should get some new stuff, but not just for the sake of it - their bank accounts (and they) will thank you in the long run.

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JuniperTisane · 11/05/2014 18:01

DS1 had 95% new stuff, with 5% given from other families.
DS2 had 99.99999% old stuff and 0.00001% new, because there is nothing wrong with the old stuff.

I thought all second children were pretty much hand-me-down kids?

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dramajustfollowsme · 11/05/2014 18:01

I would definitely use gifts for the new baby. If then we have ridiculous amounts of babygros in one size then I would charity shop some of the old ones.
It just pissed me off that she was suggesting that this baby is not as important because she is getting hand-me-downs. She would have a fit if she found out I've bought a second-hand sling. From. A. Stranger! BlushGrin

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puntasticusername · 11/05/2014 18:01

YANBU. Your MIL has more money than sense.

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specialsubject · 11/05/2014 18:03

throwing all that out?

how revoltingly wasteful. There is no 'away' to throw things into.

YANBU.

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glammanana · 11/05/2014 18:04

My DD has used the same first size baby things for 4 babies,its not as if they are going to get spoilt are they? All the blankets have also been reused and the big pram,does your MIL not have sense as to the cost and the baby won't know any difference will he/she ? I bet if you dressed your new addition in your 1st babies stuff MIL would not know the difference anyway.So you keep do what you want to do sweetie and tell her to mind her own business

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TessDurbeyfield · 11/05/2014 18:07

My friend is just about to pick up two huge bags of stuff that have been used by both my DC, and the little girl over the road. Some of it wasn't new to us either. Seems quite normal here to receive used clothes, throw out the things that get too damaged, then pass them on, adding anything you got new once you are done. Madness to chuck perfectly good things out (and this is a v MC area)

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MilesFlora · 11/05/2014 18:08

I really enjoyed using DD1's clothes for DD2. Your MIL is bonkers.

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Anniegetyourgun · 11/05/2014 18:10

Why wouldn't you re-use them? Confused Except second-hand teats and other perishables, obviously. It's much more environmentally friendly to re-use, too.

Your MIL would have had me straight in front of Social Services, as I used everything that hadn't been knackered by the first three DC for the fourth! (To be fair, he did have to have mostly new trousers, as DS3 was particularly hard on knees for some reason.)

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MoonRover · 11/05/2014 18:10

Your MIL and her throwaway habits are knackering the planet for her grandchildren.

YANBU to reuse everything.

If everyone bought brand new stuff for each child, most people could only afford one child.

MIL is odd.

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BackforGood · 11/05/2014 18:12

Your MiL is clearly bonkers.

However rich you are, it's still wasteful to throw out stuff that is clearly still perfectly usable.

Also a jolly good idea to regift presents.

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Primrose123 · 11/05/2014 18:13

You are normal and sensible.

Your MIL has some odd ideas!

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BadRoly · 11/05/2014 18:16

Your mil seems a little bonkers!

We've reused for all 4dc. Same cot and mattress, travel system, high chair, baby gym, door bouncer thingy and so on. They did each have new things too but not everything.

They all wore the same hat/baby grow when they were born too Blush

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manicinsomniac · 11/05/2014 18:17

YANBU.

I didn't keep any of my DD1's or DD2's stuff because I never intended there to be a 2nd or a 3rd baby, there are fairly big gaps between the three of them (currently 11, 7 and 0) and I moved house quite a few times. But I wish I had kept it.

And even though I had to re-buy everything I bought it all second hand so somebody else's baby had used it, not even my own!

I started very young. Most of my friends who are only at the pregnancy/baby/toddler stage and I am amazed by how many see an £800 pushchair as a necessity!

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MaryWestmacott · 11/05/2014 18:18

Your way is the way most people with 2 or more dcs do it, the only "throw it all out and buy new" types are the ones who bought everything pink or blue for dc1 and then had the other gender for dc2.

As your way is the norm, you'll also find that as your dc2 is the same gender as dc1, you'll get far fewer clothes gifts than you got the first time round, and generally amongst all my friends, the norm seems to be generally given less overall the second time round. (The assumption being you need less as you already have everything).

Nod and smile with your mil. She's obviously bonkers and mentally write off any hope of inheritance from that side as every penny will be spent rebuying stuff

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colleysmill · 11/05/2014 18:18

I've reused pretty much everything for ds2, even the bottles and teats. I've chucked some that looked a bit funny but generally everything that was stored well is fine.I did buy new mattresses for the moses basket and cotbed though.

I did buy some things that weren't around when ds1 was born because we didn't spend as much. So far he seems unaffected! And I will be selling anything that survives this time round

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ShadowFall · 11/05/2014 18:19

YANBU.

It sounds like your MIL is taking "buying new" to extremes.

DS2 is 8 months old now, and the only new item of clothing we've bought him is bibs and a sunhat. We received a few new clothes as gifts for DS2, but most of the things he wears are DS1's hand-me-downs. Some of which were handed down to DS1 from friends / relatives. Generally, baby clothes are grown out of so quickly that they're still in very good condition when they reach baby 2 (or even 3, or 4).

We've also re-used other baby stuff DS1's grown out of such as crib, playgym, baby toys, blankets and pushchair for DS2.

Utterly pointless (and wasteful) to throw stuff that's still in good condition away simply for the sake of buying new stuff.

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Fairypants · 11/05/2014 18:20

I recently went through all the clothes I had kept from dd1 and dd2 to see what I need for dd3 (I didn't think that I would ever have dc3 so didn't keep as much as I might otherwise have done.).
It was a lovely experience with dds both commenting on "did I really wear this" and they can't wait to see their sister wearing the same things-like another link between them.
I also have tonnes of clothes, nappies and other stuff given to me by a kind friend- they use baby stuff for such a short amount of time that it is wasteful to throw it all out.
This baby will have more new stuff than the first two simply because we have more money now and I can enjoy getting a few special things but she will still have a lot of second hand stuff too - dd2 is 11 and is already "saving up" her clothes that she grows out of for her sister!

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dramajustfollowsme · 11/05/2014 18:21

I bought new bottles as the numbers have pretty much rubbed off completely and have bought her a couple of pretty new babygros to wear in the hospital - it will make it easier to distinguish between them in photos! Grin
MiL just is very different to me. She can't understand why I have a sewing kit to sew on buttons, sort hems or seams that come apart. I absolutely hate waste. Use all my leftover foods etc. Mil won't eat here incase the food is second day and she gets poisoned! Grin I haven't killed anyone with my cooking yet.
She also reads the DM - nuff said! Wink

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AuntieStella · 11/05/2014 18:21

Your MIL sounds odd and excessively profligate.

It is just wasteful not to reuse serviceable (and reasonably unstained) items. And fine to regift duplicates (or just things you can't bear, when your DC are still small enough not to notice).

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