To use these things for second baby?

(92 Posts)

I know I am a hoarder at heart. Growing up with my mum who was down to her last pennies because Dad was FA definitely resulted in me keeping things "just in case."
However, I have improved and have had a few big clear outs.
I kept all of Dd's baby clothes unless stained or stretched or bobbly.
Bibs I've kept unless really badly stained. I've kept all the muslins as I figure they are just used to mop up sick anyway.
Dd2 is due in a few weeks and I've got the stuff out and been washing it all. MiL keeps nothing. New everything, every season, including gardening equipment. blush
She says I should have thrown all this stuff and baby toys, gym, playmat and jumperoo, out and buy all new. She also makes the point that the baby will get presents so I don't need to keep all the old things.
I say, the stuff is expensive and perfectly usable again. Do people really not use things again for subsequent children?
I would rather wait and see what, if anything we get as gifts then take it from there.
I just hate the idea of throwing them out and spending a fortune again.
She also went mental when she discovered that I keep doubles of gifts dd receive and re-gift them. I put £10 in her bankie each time I re-gift something. Apparently they are all her toys and she should get them all. No child needs 3 of the same dolls, imo.
I am just not sure if I am right or if my background is making me keep things unnecessarily.

gymboywalton Sun 11-May-14 17:53:59

Your mother in law is insane

ICanSeeTheSun Sun 11-May-14 17:55:50

Not at all.

I only got rid of baby items after DH snip.

BertieBotts Sun 11-May-14 17:55:58

It sounds fine. If you get new presents though, I would use them. I don't think you get as many presents for the second child.

I think it would be incredibly wasteful to throw away things like a playmat, jumperoo, toys etc! Most people I know keep these things for their second child.

Haggisfish3 Sun 11-May-14 17:56:18

Yanbu. Mil mad but I know plenty if people like it!

HauntedNoddyCar Sun 11-May-14 17:59:10

Yanbu. About any of it.

We had hand me downs for our eldest that the dc wore and have been passed on to a third family.

Chocolateteabag Sun 11-May-14 18:00:20

YANBU I did exactly the same as you for DS2
In fact he is wearing a pair of velour dungarees which were first worn by me 37 years ago - have then been worn by both of my DB's, DSis and Ds1.

Yes they should get some new stuff, but not just for the sake of it - their bank accounts (and they) will thank you in the long run.

DS1 had 95% new stuff, with 5% given from other families.
DS2 had 99.99999% old stuff and 0.00001% new, because there is nothing wrong with the old stuff.

I thought all second children were pretty much hand-me-down kids?

I would definitely use gifts for the new baby. If then we have ridiculous amounts of babygros in one size then I would charity shop some of the old ones.
It just pissed me off that she was suggesting that this baby is not as important because she is getting hand-me-downs. She would have a fit if she found out I've bought a second-hand sling. From. A. Stranger! blushgrin

puntasticusername Sun 11-May-14 18:01:55

YANBU. Your MIL has more money than sense.

specialsubject Sun 11-May-14 18:03:23

throwing all that out?

how revoltingly wasteful. There is no 'away' to throw things into.

YANBU.

glammanana Sun 11-May-14 18:04:03

My DD has used the same first size baby things for 4 babies,its not as if they are going to get spoilt are they? All the blankets have also been reused and the big pram,does your MIL not have sense as to the cost and the baby won't know any difference will he/she ? I bet if you dressed your new addition in your 1st babies stuff MIL would not know the difference anyway.So you keep do what you want to do sweetie and tell her to mind her own business

TessDurbeyfield Sun 11-May-14 18:07:01

My friend is just about to pick up two huge bags of stuff that have been used by both my DC, and the little girl over the road. Some of it wasn't new to us either. Seems quite normal here to receive used clothes, throw out the things that get too damaged, then pass them on, adding anything you got new once you are done. Madness to chuck perfectly good things out (and this is a v MC area)

MilesFlora Sun 11-May-14 18:08:14

I really enjoyed using DD1's clothes for DD2. Your MIL is bonkers.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 11-May-14 18:10:05

Why wouldn't you re-use them? confused Except second-hand teats and other perishables, obviously. It's much more environmentally friendly to re-use, too.

Your MIL would have had me straight in front of Social Services, as I used everything that hadn't been knackered by the first three DC for the fourth! (To be fair, he did have to have mostly new trousers, as DS3 was particularly hard on knees for some reason.)

MoonRover Sun 11-May-14 18:10:58

Your MIL and her throwaway habits are knackering the planet for her grandchildren.

YANBU to reuse everything.

If everyone bought brand new stuff for each child, most people could only afford one child.

MIL is odd.

BackforGood Sun 11-May-14 18:12:18

Your MiL is clearly bonkers.

However rich you are, it's still wasteful to throw out stuff that is clearly still perfectly usable.

Also a jolly good idea to regift presents.

Primrose123 Sun 11-May-14 18:13:22

You are normal and sensible.

Your MIL has some odd ideas!

BadRoly Sun 11-May-14 18:16:44

Your mil seems a little bonkers!

We've reused for all 4dc. Same cot and mattress, travel system, high chair, baby gym, door bouncer thingy and so on. They did each have new things too but not everything.

They all wore the same hat/baby grow when they were born too blush

manicinsomniac Sun 11-May-14 18:17:23

YANBU.

I didn't keep any of my DD1's or DD2's stuff because I never intended there to be a 2nd or a 3rd baby, there are fairly big gaps between the three of them (currently 11, 7 and 0) and I moved house quite a few times. But I wish I had kept it.

And even though I had to re-buy everything I bought it all second hand so somebody else's baby had used it, not even my own!

I started very young. Most of my friends who are only at the pregnancy/baby/toddler stage and I am amazed by how many see an £800 pushchair as a necessity!

MaryWestmacott Sun 11-May-14 18:18:26

Your way is the way most people with 2 or more dcs do it, the only "throw it all out and buy new" types are the ones who bought everything pink or blue for dc1 and then had the other gender for dc2.

As your way is the norm, you'll also find that as your dc2 is the same gender as dc1, you'll get far fewer clothes gifts than you got the first time round, and generally amongst all my friends, the norm seems to be generally given less overall the second time round. (The assumption being you need less as you already have everything).

Nod and smile with your mil. She's obviously bonkers and mentally write off any hope of inheritance from that side as every penny will be spent rebuying stuff

colleysmill Sun 11-May-14 18:18:36

I've reused pretty much everything for ds2, even the bottles and teats. I've chucked some that looked a bit funny but generally everything that was stored well is fine.I did buy new mattresses for the moses basket and cotbed though.

I did buy some things that weren't around when ds1 was born because we didn't spend as much. So far he seems unaffected! And I will be selling anything that survives this time round

ShadowFall Sun 11-May-14 18:19:53

YANBU.

It sounds like your MIL is taking "buying new" to extremes.

DS2 is 8 months old now, and the only new item of clothing we've bought him is bibs and a sunhat. We received a few new clothes as gifts for DS2, but most of the things he wears are DS1's hand-me-downs. Some of which were handed down to DS1 from friends / relatives. Generally, baby clothes are grown out of so quickly that they're still in very good condition when they reach baby 2 (or even 3, or 4).

We've also re-used other baby stuff DS1's grown out of such as crib, playgym, baby toys, blankets and pushchair for DS2.

Utterly pointless (and wasteful) to throw stuff that's still in good condition away simply for the sake of buying new stuff.

Fairypants Sun 11-May-14 18:20:52

I recently went through all the clothes I had kept from dd1 and dd2 to see what I need for dd3 (I didn't think that I would ever have dc3 so didn't keep as much as I might otherwise have done.).
It was a lovely experience with dds both commenting on "did I really wear this" and they can't wait to see their sister wearing the same things-like another link between them.
I also have tonnes of clothes, nappies and other stuff given to me by a kind friend- they use baby stuff for such a short amount of time that it is wasteful to throw it all out.
This baby will have more new stuff than the first two simply because we have more money now and I can enjoy getting a few special things but she will still have a lot of second hand stuff too - dd2 is 11 and is already "saving up" her clothes that she grows out of for her sister!

I bought new bottles as the numbers have pretty much rubbed off completely and have bought her a couple of pretty new babygros to wear in the hospital - it will make it easier to distinguish between them in photos! grin
MiL just is very different to me. She can't understand why I have a sewing kit to sew on buttons, sort hems or seams that come apart. I absolutely hate waste. Use all my leftover foods etc. Mil won't eat here incase the food is second day and she gets poisoned! grin I haven't killed anyone with my cooking yet.
She also reads the DM - nuff said! wink

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