I have 2 dc with dh plus another ds from a previous relationship. Dh is older and he has got an almost adult dc from his first marriage
Our second dc is four weeks old and tbh I'm struggling bad with pnd anyway. It's really come to the surface since she's been born, it did after my other one as well
I have always been jealous that dh has had a family before the one he had with me. I have never had a family until I met dh and had our dc. when I met dh I was a very young single Mum to a baby ds, I'd never had a good relationship with his dad and I left him when ds was just a few months.
I just feel mine and dh dc will never ever be as special as dh firstborn. That our family will not be as special as his first as he's done it all before. He doesn't do anything to make Me think that btw he clearly loves and adores all our Dc. It's probably just in my own head, but everyone says nothings as special as your PFB. (Although my "PFB" wasn't special. Sounds awful but tbh the whole thing was a bad experience and I did not bond with him, he's 8 now and Tbh I still struggle now with him :( )
Anyway because he's done it all before, had his firstborn, I feel Therefore me and my dc are not good enough somehow
Tbh sometimes the feelings are so strong I have thought of ending it with dh because I feel I will never cope with it. But I'm crazy about dh and couldn't live without him, so in my darkest moments I have even considered suicide because I feel that would be the only way to end the pain. I can't believe I'm admitting this
Please help me someone I'm aware I sound mad
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AIBU?
To not be coping with jealousy that my dc are not dh first DC
43 replies
balenciaga · 10/05/2014 11:03
OP posts:
Preciousbane ·
10/05/2014 11:07
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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