To be jealous of my husband....

(85 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 09:39:49

I've had 4.5 hours of broken sleep in the last 24 hours and have been up most of the night with our poorly baby....I'm exhausted.

He on the other hands gets to spend half the night in the spare room every night for 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep and also gets to go to work to escape the physically draining task of looking after a baby all day grin

Every time he he tells me he's tired and pulls a 'woe is me' face I feel like saying, "Well I'm a lot more f*king tired than you are!!"

grin

And breathe......

gordyslovesheep Thu 08-May-14 09:43:01

parenting is not a competition and going to work on 4/5 hours sleep wont be fun either

HotSauceCommittee Thu 08-May-14 09:43:06

YANBU. Sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture.

Competitive tiredness is a game in which there are no winners, but I'm afraid I have no words that would be any use to you.

Hope you get a good rest soon. Babies are real nuisances.

Gemma222 Thu 08-May-14 09:43:14

Hopefully your baby will get better soon thanks

thebodylovesspring Thu 08-May-14 09:46:52

Welcome to parenthood op. grin

Mim78 Thu 08-May-14 09:47:17

You are probably both tired but he is insensitive and silly to complain to you. He might have bought into the silly myth that you will be catching up on sleep during the day.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 09:48:21

Gordy - DH easily gets up to 8 hours sleep a night as the first half of the night sleeping in the bedroom with me and DS and then he gets up when DS wakes for his nighttime feed, usually about 3am and then he goes down to the spare room to sleep until 07.30am.

DS has been awake since 5am and eventually fell asleep on my lap about 20 minutes ago....I put him back in his Moses Basket so I could try and get some sleep but after 5 hours of sitting up with him I now can't shut off. My DH keeps telling me I should sleep in the day but it's not that easy is it?!

Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 09:48:56

Crossost mim grin

Oh dear - DS is stirring again.......

deakymom Thu 08-May-14 09:51:36

im in the same boat baby got up three hours after i got to bed and decided he was not going back to sleep he dozed on the sofa as long as my arms were around him so i couldnt sleep he is now smashing his head off the floor in frustration as he is so tired sad (all my other children stopped when you ignored them he is not stopping! just googling another plan im too tired to think all i can come up with is a crash helmet grin)

Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 09:54:57

That's the problem I have deaky - at the moment whilst poorly DS is only content in my arms but no matter how hard I try I just can't drop off when he's with me. It's just impossible. I like the crash helmet idea, you should adapt the concept in some way to make it specific for 'pissed off children' and get yourself on Dragon's Den smile

thebodylovesspring Thu 08-May-14 09:56:38

It's not easy is it? I clearly remember hoping that I would develop appendicitis when my older dcs were 1 and 2 so I could actually get some anaesthetic and sleep.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 09:58:15

Don't go giving me ideas the body about faking illness in order to earn myself a baby free hospital stay grin

eltsihT Thu 08-May-14 09:59:30

It's really hard when your dc is ill, and your dp doesn't get it.

I went away for a long weekend by myself when my ds was 14mo and had a lovely break my dh was a lot better about helping out and giving me breaks after that. I try to do this every 6-12 months and it really reminds my dh how much work kids are.

Purplepoodle Thu 08-May-14 10:02:07

It's every new parents right as a couple to have the who's the most tired argument and how is having the hardest time. It's the law.

MrsAtticus Thu 08-May-14 10:02:38

yanbu, I remember with ds1 I just couldn't tolerate dh telling me he was tired, as even if he'd not had much sleep, it was always more than me!

Marylou62 Thu 08-May-14 10:11:27

Oh Ladies! I used to lie to my DH how many times I was up in the night so I could have a lie in!! It does get better...I promise and then they leave home! (17 yr old just joined the navy!) Hang on in there....

VitoCorleone Thu 08-May-14 10:12:32

Unfortunately when babies are ill it is hard work.

It will pass though

gotnotimeforthat Thu 08-May-14 10:14:56

He sounds like my partner. He had one bad nights sleep because DS wouldn't settle after travelling to see family which meant he only got about 5 hours sleep. I got my usual 3 hours interrupted.

At 7am his alarms go off ( every 3 minutes for two hours! ) which wakes me and DS. Partner then sleeps until 3pm whereas as I don't get a chance to crawl into bed until 11pm.

I understand work must be tiring but he sleeps though DS crying so he gets a full nights sleep. I've not had one of those since I first fell pregnant and DS is 5mo now.

YANBU

Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 10:17:55

He really annoyed me yesterday as he came home from work and asked if I'd eaten, I said no, I'd had my hands full all day. I was breast feeding at the time. He said that he'd have a quick shower and then go and make me a sandwich. Half an hour passed and he hadn't reappeared so I shouted up to him and he's aid, "I'm just about to get in the shower" - so I replied that he'd said that half an hours ago so what had he been doing? He said, "Well you know what it's like when you just lie down on the bed for a bit and time just passes..."

I told him that no, actually I don't know what it's like to f*king just lie down for 30 minutes!!!

AngelinaCongleton Thu 08-May-14 10:22:46

Oh god, sympathies that last comment would have sent me over the edge. Some intensive dad baby bonding time whilst you run for the hills (for half an hour) is required.

FragileBrittleStar Thu 08-May-14 10:23:36

It's not a competition
It is a lot easier to be tired at home with a baby than tired at work in my view - you might not get to sleep during the day but you can minimise the amount of decisions you need to make/use of brain power.
!

PrincessBabyCat Thu 08-May-14 10:25:42

My DH knows that when he pulls this I just tell him "Me too" then kick him out to get some coffee for us. Actually, we have a pretty good system set up. I sleep the early nights and take over around the middle of the night and he goes to sleep from middle of the night till morning. That way we both get about 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep each. He gets more when he needs them though since he works, so I make sure he gets as much sleep as he needs.

JockTamsonsBairns Thu 08-May-14 10:34:07

Really feel for you! No good comes of competitive tiredness though. Dh and I got into that in the early days, and it ended up a constant battle between us. When Dd2 was about 4 months old, Dh had a meeting at the other end of the country and couldn't get home due to airport closure. He arrived home the following afternoon complaining about the lack of facilities at the hotel he'd been put up in angry. I could've knifed him!

About a year later, I had to have some radiation treatment as an out-patient. I was advised by the doc to avoid close contact with children for a few hours "if at all possible". By the time I got home, that advice had changed to "I must not under any circumstances be in the vicinity of any children for at least 24hours". Dh had to take all three Dc's to his DM's for an overnight. Bliss grin.

Isindesidecar Thu 08-May-14 10:37:55

I would really advise against the 'who is the most tired' competition as no-one ever wins.
We have twins and the sleep deprivation for both of us in the first 18 months was hellish. When they were 2 months old I went back to work and DP and I did get into a few disagreements about who was most tired. hmm Pointless. After a near-crash on the motorway when I was driving after 3 days of 3 hours sleep a night we agreed that I would go to the spare room and get at least 5-6 hours sleep if I had to drive the next day.

Hang on in there and try not to make this a battle-ground. It is better to have someone in the household actually able to work and earn some money to pay the bills than not imho.

I never bought into the 'I bet you have sat around at home all day' myth but I have certainly come across (thankfully not from DP) the 'well you get to swan off to work and have that lovely adult contact' myth.
Both myths imo.
I hope you both get more sleep soon. smile

Writerwannabe83 Thu 08-May-14 10:44:43

I don't miss the adult company but I do miss being able to have a cup of tea during the day - or at least a hot one smile

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