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AIBU?

To think turning 40 has a lot going for it?

31 replies

SpanishLady · 03/05/2014 15:46

So big 4-0 approaching and am feeling pretty optimistic about the next 10 years. I felt similarly turning 30 and in fact got to work within a week of my birthday - starting off with binning my boyfriend of 5 years as the relationship had gone stale but we were too comfortable to address it.

10 years on, am married with kids, own a nice house,have a good job and while of course nothing is perfect - it's good.

I have finished my family ( had twins last year) and have another stone to lose before back to my fighting weight so physically have taken abit of a knocking the last few years but willing to work on it.

And yet, I'm also abit scared and worried I'm old now?

Give me your positives on turning fabulous 40 please!

OP posts:
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Asheth · 03/05/2014 18:45

Bumping thread because I'm turning 40 next month - hope it will be fabulous!

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gamerchick · 03/05/2014 18:53

I'm dreading it.. people keep jibbing me because they know i'm 40 next birthday.

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VivaLeBeaver · 03/05/2014 18:56

I don't turn 40 for another two years but dd will be 15yo by then.

I'm kind of dreading turning 40 and also dd being even more grown up and independent than what she is now.

However I'm planning stuff to do which I can't do at the moment, or at least not easily. I love cycling but struggle to do long bike rides due to having to be at home at weekends, etc. so I'm planning long cycling expeditions, maybe one to Morocco. Keep telling myself I'll have more time for myself, etc and it will be fine.

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MelanieCheeks · 03/05/2014 18:57

It's all in your mind. You can't change it - so make the most of the positives. Sounds like your mindset is pretty good - you appreciate what you have, set yourself achieveable goals to work for, and have the all-elusive "contentment". Congratulations!

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everlong · 03/05/2014 19:03

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LindyHemming · 03/05/2014 19:03

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Goatbongosanonymous · 03/05/2014 19:08

After the relationship (and sex) starved desert of my 30s, I met my now DH ten days before I turned 40. Then had DS at 42. I'm loving my sleep deprived 40s!

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fairyfuckwings · 03/05/2014 19:17

I turned 40 last year and it's shit.

I'm finding it a lot harder to stay anything approaching slim. Stubborn grey hair that seems to repel dye. Sagging chin and neck. Wrinkles. Horrendous hangovers if (God forbid!) I enjoy myself a bit too much.

And the fucking chat up lines! "I bet you used to be gorgeous" "you're old but golden". Ace!

And I plucked a whisker from my sagging chin the otherday. It was a good inch long which was nice.

Happy Birthday! [Cake]

Best stick to virtual cake from now on.

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squoosh · 03/05/2014 19:19

Yay for Goatbongosanonymous!

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fairyfuckwings · 03/05/2014 19:19

Oh dear - my phone doesn't want you to have cake. Have Wine instead. Not too much though or you'll be rough til Wednesday!

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Yambabe · 03/05/2014 19:20

Loved turning 40.

I had my own little mid-life crisis, I got my first tattoo, passed the test to get my motorbike licence (and bought a bike!) and jacked my job in to go self-employed.

It was also the time when I realised that actually I could be comfortable in my own skin (despite it being a bit bigger and more wobbly than the "norm") and that I was loved and appreciated by the people in my life that counted. I relaxed a lot, got past a lot of my old inhibitions, hang-ups and shyness and started to really LIVE instead of just exist.

I'm 50 now and still have a fantastic life (to me).

Happy birthday SpanishLady, it's all up from here!

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MammaTJ · 03/05/2014 19:20

I hated turning 30. I was with a husband who was not at all supportive. He did not want any more children as he had 2. Only one of them wasmine and I wanted more. He did not approve of the little studying I did, even though one thing was an NVQ in care, essential for my job. The other was a GCSE in psychology. So, I could neither have another child, or study!


He left me and I met DP a year later.

When I hit 40, I had had two more children and knew I was with a man who would support me whatever I wanted to do.

I did an access course and am now doing a nursing degree. I started that at 46.

Turning 40 ROCKS!

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FarToGo · 03/05/2014 19:22

I dreaded turning 30 yet is was actually fine in reality, a blast in fact! I'm 40 in 6 months, so I'm thinking about it but trying to suppress it at the mo.
My life is x100 better than what it was turning 30 so I hope it's a goodun Smile

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TinCanSally · 03/05/2014 19:24

Oh dear..... You're not filling me with hope here!

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Louise1956 · 03/05/2014 19:29

As far as I can remember I was quite happy when I was 40. I had not however finished having children, I had two more, at 41 and 44.

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chickydoo · 03/05/2014 19:31

I'm 46 and Love my 40's! Confident, Happy, busy, lots of work, Teenagers (hmmmm not sure about that) plenty of plans for the future, the sun is out....Hope my 50's are just as Brill.
To add, my childhood wasn't quite so lush:(

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MelanieCheeks · 03/05/2014 19:33

In my 40s I....


got a decent tattoo (covering up a crappy one)
learned how to run
got my motorbike licence
got my scuba-diving cerfickatick
lived abroad
...and came home
owned my first dog

Seriously, it's what you make it.

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Awks · 03/05/2014 19:37

I'm 48 and love it too. I lost 3 stone, kids are more independant, I have my own interests as well as a mostly very happy marriage. Am confident at work and well respected.

I hates turning 40 but am loving being in my 40's

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TheWoollybacksWife · 03/05/2014 19:41

I am well into my 40's and I'm loving it.

I don't have any wrinkles or so DD2 tells me - although it is usually followed by "Mum can I have...?" Grin
I have conceded defeat in the battle with my waistline but can afford better quality clothes so feel more comfortable in my style. I have the confidence to wear what I like rather than slavishly following fashion. This does include mum boots though Grin
I have been married for nearly 25 years and love my DH more than ever.
I have a part time job that I love - it gives me financial independence while keeping my brain ticking over.

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TheNewSchmoo · 03/05/2014 19:50

I loved turning 40. Had a list of things I wanted to do and did them. Holiday I'd always wanted to go on, stupid extreme spey thati won't be releasing but at least I can sayi did it.

As for the sagginess and greyness. Well I'm comfortable in my own skin, am 2 dress sizes smaller than I was at 30 (when I was with my total wanker of an ex and so so so unhappy), and I just leave the dye on for longer than recommended and do it more frequently. I am dark haired and am certainly not grey, hairy and saggy...... Wish my boobs were a bit more perky, but hey, I just have to buy better bras these days.

I love it, but I do think a positive attitude helps!

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TheNewSchmoo · 03/05/2014 19:51

*sport not spey

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TheNewSchmoo · 03/05/2014 19:51

Jesus, *repeating grrrrrr

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fairyfuckwings · 03/05/2014 19:58

That'll be your fat arthritic fingers schmoo!

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Fifilosttheplot · 03/05/2014 20:06

I'm in the turning 40 club as well.

I'm not dreading it, I'm happy, got married and had DS in my 30's but seem to have been permanently skint which has made my looks, style and social life suffer. I also think I'm in a bit of a career rut (same company for 15 years) but we need the stability and the money at the moment.

I'm approaching my 40's thinking I want to achieve something big or different. I am trying to take up running but can't see myself loving it enough to run a marathon, I can't afford to do anything like scuba or fabulous travel.

I need to set myself a challenge, I have an idea for a new business I can run alongside my job (I think) but maybe I need some other challenges to mark my 40s, any suggestions?

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cheerup · 03/05/2014 20:06

I turned 40 last year, lost two stone (and shrunk to a size 8), got fit and started studying towards a professional qualification so that a can re-start my career now that I finally know what I want to do. Being 40 rocks... I have the family I never thought I would have at 30 and still have 20 odd years to spend with them, work, travel and generally enjoy myself until I even need to contemplate getting old. My twenties were the pits, thirties better but I've never felt happier with myself or life than I do now, 3 months off being 41. I only wish the person I am now could start again at 18... so much time, emotion and energy wasted over so many years.

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