To have another baby, despite getting pnd with my first...

(17 Posts)
KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 03-May-14 09:17:25

I am having a bit of a mummy- meltdown, guilt trip this am. I am pregnant with dc2 and incredibly happy. Dd is one. I did develop on after dd1 and went on ads plus get counselling which he improved my life dramatically. Now I am pregnant again I am carefully weaning self off my low dose of ads. I have been told I am no longer classed as depressed and I am continuing counselling to work through issues i still have from a bit of a mental teenage life! All in all though I am very happy, pro active and I can says myself I am a good mother. Despite having pnd I always was very attentive to dd and loved her from the start - some say I am maybe a little too ott with her and maybe spoil her a bit, but shes a baby and I don't think you can spoil a baby.

Anyway, I sometimes feel like a failure that I ended up in ads and that I got pregnant again so soon (planned ) - but I do stress I was no longer depressed and my life is the best it has been. Its a perfect time to have another for me personally (fr various reasons)

Sometimes i think once the next dc is here though I wont cope again and I'll need ads to manage well and this makes me feel awful sad

Obviously I am going to wean self off of ads, but as I haven't been on them that long i Am acutely aware I may need to go back on them again as depression may my have completely lifted (chemically/ hormonally) iyswim...

However, all i can do I wait and see. I feel so much happier in ads and just hope I will remain feeling this happy when off of them. I am doig all the right things to ensure this will happen. AIBU to have another baby? So many do - I just always seem to berate myself for these things. Being so hard in myself for so long contributed to the pnd i belive.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 03-May-14 09:19:21

Sorry for spelling and grammatical errors ... Lack of sleep and using phone to type not helping!

MatureUniStudentGraduated Sat 03-May-14 09:21:13

I had a further two after postpartum depression. The GP was marvellous and kept a v close eye on me. I didn't develop depression again so ENJOY your pregnancy as it's not a given you may get depressed again!

It might not happen again and you and your GP know what the signs are so you're in a far better position to deal with PND if it does recur. Try and enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 03-May-14 11:57:37

Thanks guys smile maybe its my hormones? They say they play up in first trimester ...

Mrsjayy Sat 03-May-14 12:00:52

I had crippiling PND with dd1 so much i think it is why i have a bigger gap when dd2 was born it never came back my health visitor and gp were great. I was looking for signs with dd2 but it was fine, congrats on your pregnancy smile

wrapsuperstar Sat 03-May-14 12:02:46

I was very ill with PND after the birth of DD1. So much so that I swore never to have another.

Now unexpectedly 35 weeks pregnant with DD2. Not currently on anti-d's -- made the choice to wean off in the first trimester. I have been very open about my fears with my midwife, consultant, GP and now health visitor. I will have a little extra support from the postnatal mental health team if I so choose it, and everyone is prepared for the possibility of me being unwell again. Partner has also promised to be hyper vigilant. Because of all this, I actually feel a lot less anxious. Part of what made PND so devastating last time was that it took me by complete surprise and I went for some months in serious denial before getting treatment.

Forewarned is forearmed. Statistically as a previous sufferer you are more likely to get it again, but that isn't a guarantee. Just be very open with everyone about your fears and they will make sure of early intervention if it's needed. Good luck and congratulations!

RainbowSpiral Sat 03-May-14 12:09:46

I was admitted to psych hospital after ds2, but was fine when he was a year old. So I have not regrets and we did try for some years for number 3, but isn't going to happen sadly. I was fine after ds1 so I think each post baby experience is different.

Just go for it and keep an eye on yourself.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 03-May-14 12:12:57

1. No guarantee it'll happen again
2. Good chance of you recognising it and accepting treatment if it does
3. Treatment has worked for you in the recent past

I really don't think you should be feeling guilty. Enjoy your long fought for happiness!

Pigginnora Sat 03-May-14 12:15:33

I had 2 more dc after developing PND. I was on meds for 2 half years.

I didn't get any extra support or help after having PND but i didn't get ill again.

Very best of luck. Look after yourself.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 03-May-14 18:09:03

Thanks everyone, you all hve genuinely made me feel better about things smile

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sat 03-May-14 18:09:22

I love mumsnet!

Marylou62 Sat 03-May-14 18:13:55

Just wanted to say that I have no experience of pnd (I had PTSD) I think whatever happens you'll be ok. Congratulations and all the best.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Sun 04-May-14 07:25:39

Thanks Mary smile I hope you are ok now too. PTSD is awful, my aunty suffered this after The birth of her dc.

icanneverremember Sun 04-May-14 07:54:07

I had severe PND after my first and although I came off the meds during my 2nd pregnancy I asked to go straight back on them after dc was born. I never, ever wanted to feel the way I felt before, even for a second. The doctors were fab and prescribed them as soon as ds was born - they don't mess around with this kind of thing.

I have no idea whether I would have got pnd again but going straight back on the meds allowed me to thoroughly enjoy ds's babyhood without having to worry about it. And for info I was even able to bf which I was worried would be precluded.

Fern123 Sun 04-May-14 23:16:55

Just to echo what others have said;

I had PND with DS1 and was very apprehensive when pregnant with DD but midwives were incredibly supportive and as one said to me, you are in a much more powerful position now as you've been there before, you know the signs and will be able to get help earlier if need be.
To be honest I think this single piece of advice helped me to avoid the downward spiral I found myself in with DS, as I felt in control - even though I know you can't control PND - I felt as though I could control my response to any symptoms.
I didn't have PND with DD and had a completely different experience in the months after her birth - I hope the same happens for you.

IsChippyMintonExDirectory Sun 04-May-14 23:32:00

YANBU, think it is set in us to want more babies, I didn't have PND but I did have terrible baby blues when DD was a week old and I didn't particularly enjoy the newborn stages, however I'm craving another baby and were gonna start trying again if my bloody period Ever returns from Breastfeeding

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