to murder dh for coming in drunk at 3am on a weeknight?

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

Just need to rant, not really going to murder him!

We have two dds, 2yo and 5mo. Dh works away all week, so i don't get any help but dd1 goes to nursery a couple of days. Completely shattered this week but dh home last night so was hoping he could sort the toddler and get her to nursery so i can cajole the baby back to sleep.

Get dd2 down at ten, get into bed myself, but toddler starts crying and have to resettle her a few times, text dh to tell him its a bad day. Up with baby at 230, realise hes not come in. Search spare room etc and send a text, as we have previously agreed he needs to let me know what hes doing so i don't panic in the middle of the night, and i haven't heard anything. He rolls in at three, i tell him off, he collapses in a brewery smelling heap beside me, with me poking him to breathe in the other direction. I am back in with baby at 4 so stay on sofabeed in her room, not wanting to be up and down any more, and avoiding stinking dh. Six am i can hear dd2, listen and she gets frantic, i go in to see if she was alright as left monitor with dh, to find him on her bed with a pillow over his head and her wandering around with a pooey nappy, which i changed then left her to cuddle him until the groclock changed, when he brought her back to me and passed out on our bed. I wasn't about to let him drive so i left him with dd2 while i got her to nursery. Get back and i can hear baby squawking upstairs and it echoing on the baby monitor so it is working, but he is dead to the world. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Now i am So tired i can barely open my eyes, but so furious i cant sleep even if i had the chance after i finish feeding baby.

wibu to hit him over the head with a frying pan? Apparently hes going to work from home, so that will be fun. Any suggestions for alternative punishments?

[Jumblebee]

That is unacceptable! I'd murder him and then bring him back to clean up the mess!

Does he do this type of thing often?

[FreeLikeABird]

That is unacceptable, yes hit him over the head with a frying pan that will soon wake him up.

[londonrach]

Weekend you have time booked for a spa, coffee with friends etc and can't take kids so leave him with them. Is he normally very good. I'll be tempted to cook a bacon sand witch with the door open and eat it before he comes down.... You know your hubby and hus weak spots....

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

Not often, but occasionally. And pre children i once had to drive from middlesex to Essex on the middle of the night and search for him as he had fallen asleep on the last central line train in the wrong direction. But was too incoherent to tell me where he was and had walked two miles away by the time i got there! So i do worry when i wake up and hes not there after the last train.

ive told him hes in trouble- he genuinely didn't know he had slept through the baby crying. Good job she was in her cot and safe.

[Montegomongoose]

It sounds as though binge drinking is his weakness. Have you any idea why he needs to drink to excess?

I'd be tempted to make him a gp appointment and ask him to go sling and discuss his unhealthy relationship with alcohol and how it might endanger his children in the long run as well as now.

If he doesn't think there's an issue, he needs to prove it.

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

There is a big work hard play hard culture in his job- he had to go to the dinner thing, will probably say he had to take the others out afterwards for networking. Not that he could have made any good contacts in that state! I think he just doesn't know when to stop once its past a certain point. He has been avoiding all the social stuff mostly but i think he has to show his face once in a while, and hes up for promotion so would have wanted to take part. Just drives me a bit mad as he has other responsibilities to consider.

He's still asleep, think i should probably wake him so he can at least pretend to work...

[Atbeckandcall]

I have an idiot husband that does this but he can sometimes be an arse when he's drunk, not just a passed out beer pit. I have laid down some laws that he has to now follow or I will call his alcohol fearing mother to sort him out (she was an alcoholic a long time ago and is now so anti booze and it's effects).
But YABU to be pissed off. Make yourself a nice fried breakfast and a pot of tea/coffee and book yourself a 2 night stay at a luxurious hotel with a friend. Then leave him the washing up to do (and no left overs) and ask for the credit card.

[mimishimmi]

Is this a regular occurrence OP?

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

So i woke him and suggested he should at least turn his laptop on. He grunted and rolled over. Five minutes later he said "piecing things together it turns out i left my laptop in the office last night". Very sensible, as he has previously left it in the cloakroom of a bar, but now he has to go in. Wont make it into the office until nearly eleven.

now if he has to work over the bank hol weekend to make it up, then i will be pissed off..

[Atbeckandcall]

I hope he's not not driving. He could still be well over the limit.

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

No, on the train, and i gave him a lift to the station.