Am I wrong to be annoyed!

(16 Posts)
mummyjoey28 Thu 01-May-14 13:59:14

So confused!! My husband has denied that his son from a previous relationship was his. Claiming that him and his ex did not have a sexual relationship at the time and that he knew 100% that he was not the boys biological father. He said he wanted to do a dna test to prove this. I agreed but only if he was 100% certain that this was not down to trust issues as it is a lot of money to spend I think if the only issue was an untrustworthy relationship. He assured me that wasn't the case and was extremely upset by the fact that I did not trust him that he was not the father. After months of many arguments and him convincing me to believe him we got the money together and paid for a DNA test. Well this morning we got the results and what do you know it he is 99.7 % the biological father to which he found quite amusing. I can't even look at him, I don't even know what to say. I feel like a complete idiot listening to his lies. Can I even trust him anymore? And what about his son?? I feel so sorry for him as I have felt like he has always treated him differently from his daughter who he had no doubts about. This is a child life in question and I don't think what he has done is right. I think he has acted so childishly and been so selfish. Do I have a right to feel like this?

mummyjoey28 Thu 01-May-14 14:01:35

Can I just add to this that his reply to these results were that he didn't remember if he has slept with her or not!

mumaa Thu 01-May-14 14:04:39

So sorry, I think you completely have a right to feel however you feel... it would anger me if my husband lied about this and found the situation funny. This is a horrible situation and is bound to make you look at him in a different light.

Ilovexmastime Thu 01-May-14 14:10:33

Of course you have a right to feel like this. I would be seriously rethinking my relationship if this was my DH. If he can lie to your face about this and then laugh about it then he doesn't sound like a very nice person to me. Sorry sad

HauntedNoddyCar Thu 01-May-14 14:15:21

That's quite odd behaviour from him. It would definitely have me unsettled and uncomfortable.

Moonfacesmother Thu 01-May-14 14:22:25

My friend has a similar situation with her dh. Her dh is absolutely lovely, great with ther children, lovely lovely guy.

However he has a child from a previous relationship who he denied was his. This was despite the child looking just like him at the same age and despite the fact that his own parents (the grandparents) were sending christmas and birthday gifts to the child as they were certain he was the father.

Subsequently a DNA test confirmed that friend's dh was the father and he pays maintenance but that's it. He refuses to see the child or have anything to do with him/her.

I find it strange that he dotes on his other children and is a great day but just won't even entertain the idea of meeting his child from a previous relationship.

Moonfacesmother Thu 01-May-14 14:24:58

Actually I find it hard to reconcile friend's dh and how he is with their children with the fact he wants nothing to do with his other child.
I think it is a pretty scummy thing to do tbh.

diddl Thu 01-May-14 14:32:05

He sounds awful tbh!

Obvs they had sex-and the lie about that would really piss me off tbh.

And what's funny about it??

Lanabelle Thu 01-May-14 14:40:36

I don't think its unreasonable to be feeling like that at all. And you have every right to feel like that, I'd be questioning what sort of man he is after that and you are right its the childs loss really. On the other hand I think its a good and selfless person to call him out on it and admit that the person they may love is not flawless and has royally f***ed up on a matter with such serious implications as this. Maybe you need to have a word with him about his attitude towards the child and the whole situation really?

Infinity8 Fri 02-May-14 14:45:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Fri 02-May-14 15:50:56

Annoyed, I'd be fucking furious!

From your post he was in a relationship with the mother,is he claiming that for 9 months prior to the end of the relationship? Or is he just stupid and not understand basic biology.

I mean if there was infidelity in the relationship far enough to question, but to deny AND treat the child differently.

I think I'd be seriously questioning if I wanted to be in a relationship with him.

Stripyhoglets Fri 02-May-14 16:07:26

do you have children together? if not, then I wouldn't, sorry. The fact he laughed goes to show how seriously he really takes this.

beershuffle Fri 02-May-14 16:12:40

Youre married to an utter cunt.


BitOutOfPractice Fri 02-May-14 16:14:28

"he didn't remember if he has slept with her or not!" WTAF? That sunds so classy doesn't it? sad

He sounds like a sorry excuse for a man. And a liar to boot. You have some thinking to do I think

SsimTee Fri 02-May-14 19:50:37

I personally wouldn't trust a man who has treated his own flesh and blood this way. And I most definitely would not have his kids.He doesn't deserve them

MammaTJ Fri 02-May-14 20:59:31

Sorry to be blunt, but if a man is sober enough to get it up, he is sober enough to remember it afterwards. He is so BSing you.

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