To get annoyed (a bit) that everyone think dd is a boy...

(94 Posts)
KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Thu 01-May-14 08:15:21

... Admittedly I do not always dress her in head to toe pink shudders but she does have a pink - lined pram and is often in a dress of some sort. She is 1, but has very little hair (bless her) its beautiful white blonde and she is a beautiful baby obviously but I do understand lack of hair makes one assume - boy.

As I stated though, i dress her in fairly girly hear most of the time and she is in a pink pram. I don't care when people ask how old is he? But then when I correct them they get mortified with embarrasses me. I do it politely and sometimes not at all.

I just get frustrated as she is in girls clothes in a pink pram- wtf? I they just took one second to look a little closer than her head! Esspecially if they want to take the time to comment.

AIBU? Maybe I am being a but pfb ...

Ps I am not resorting to hair band, ear peircing or hair clips!

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Thu 01-May-14 08:16:48

Sorry for spelling mistakes etc. was up all night and typing on a phone!

CaptWingoBings Thu 01-May-14 08:17:25

Why does it bother you?

Both of mine had little hair & were often mistaken for boys, I just can't get worked up about it.

Does it really matter?

drivenfromdistraction Thu 01-May-14 08:23:12

I wouldn't worry about it, really. I tended to call all babies 'he' for a few years because I had two boys, and was used to a baby being a 'he'. Then I had DD and managed to get my head round the concept of two genders grin

DS1 often used to be called 'she' as a baby because he had a lot of white blond hair and a very 'pretty' face - plus I dressed him in a lot of white and lemon and purple because I liked the colours. He's six now, and doesn't get called 'she' any more.

People don't mean any harm. Most of them are barely looking at your child - their heads are full of other things. I just used to smile and let it go - often didn't bother correcting people if it was just someone who I'd never see again making a passing comment.

HolidayCriminal Thu 01-May-14 08:23:22

PFB, sorry. Aren't girls & boys equally lovely?

I know people who get offended because someone mistook their pet's gender.

HearMyRoar Thu 01-May-14 08:24:07

I've never understood why people get so bothered about this sort of thing. Dd is always being mistaken for a boy and it really doesn't bother me. I always get the gender of babies and toddlers wrong as well though.

QueenofKelsingra Thu 01-May-14 08:35:38

i have B/G twins. they are now 2. even if I take them out one head to toe blue and one head to toe pink I still get 'oh 2 boys, how lovely' etc. DD has very little hair so assume that's why. she is also the image of me so clearly I must look quite manly! hmm grin

don't worry about it, tbh virtually all babies look fair androgynous for the first year or so and nobody likes to say 'it' so they take a punt. don't let it get to you.

sarinka Thu 01-May-14 08:37:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlesupersparks Thu 01-May-14 09:29:42

Agreed. I never cared when people thought my beautiful boys were girls. If I had cared that much I would have got their hair cut. However I did find it slightly annoying. The odd person in the street/park was fine. It was things like playgroups that bothered me. My child has been playing with yours for 20 minutes and you haven't realised he's a boy? Most of the time I don't bother correcting them. Unless they are really engaging with them. I get a LOT of 'let the little girl go next now' on the slide and 'she looks happy today!' Etc.

So yes, I empathise but honestly not worth worrying about - she's just a baby still. I was concerned it would start to bother my son at 3 ish but it never seemed to. He's now 4 and has a more boyish hair style so it doesn't happen any more.

tinkitonki Thu 01-May-14 09:34:39

I kind of agree OP. My 1 year old dd is virtually bald and travels in a black buggy so is often mistaken for a boy. It didn't bother me when she was younger but now she's getting older I do find it annoying to have to correct all the time.
I know in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter but I feel sad for her somehow.
As an aside my poor ds was often called she when he was a baby, so I have been dealing with this for years!

BuzzardBird Thu 01-May-14 09:35:03

I wouldn't worry about and ear piercing I have seen done on baby boys too I'm afraid...unless it was a girl? hmm

Kerryp Thu 01-May-14 09:35:09

I think this happens a lot, I always examine a baby's clothes before I say he or she especially If baby doesn't have a lot of hair. Don't let it bother you they will probably be quite embarrassed themselves once they realise she is a she. X

madasa Thu 01-May-14 09:35:57

I had the same with my dd. Didn't bother me. Clearly bothered her though as at about 20 months at the top of her voice in a shop she shouted "I not a boy! " with as much indignation that a 20 month old could muster

cadidog Thu 01-May-14 09:38:05

People just aren't very observant generally. I remember an old lady asking my mum how old I was when we were getting off a bus somewhere - referring to me as a 'him'. I had short hair at the time, but I was wearing a dress so you'd have thought that would have been a clue.

devoniandarling Thu 01-May-14 09:38:16

I used to get it a lot because none of my children had a lot of hair! Until they were about 3. It is frustrating and dd2 had a hot pink pram and was always dressed in girlie outfits.

Mid you I also bought my boys pink t-shirts so I don't help my case there much!

Star8369 Thu 01-May-14 09:39:43

I once had my daughter dreesed head to toe in pink and someone came over to me and said ah isnt he lovely hmm

Sneezecakesmum Thu 01-May-14 09:40:11

In a play centre a woman mistook DGS2 for a girl even though he was wearing very non pink clothes and doesn't look particularly feminine. He's a bit unisex looking tbh but was pushing a pink buggy and trying to take a pink sit on toy from her daughter, so maybe not so strange grin

Gurraun Thu 01-May-14 09:41:22

It just makes me giggle. I use the village Coop a lot. When ds2 was born all the staff asked about him - said yes I now have 2 little boys and told them his [only used for boys] name. However they all got it into their heads he is a girl (always in quite boyish clothes and a right bruiser) and go on about how lovely 'she' is, what a happy little girl etc. I corrected them a couple of times but then just gave up and giggle and say yes 'she' is gorgeous! He's now nearly 10 months so I guess at some point they'll realise or just think 'she' is a tomboy!

WorraLiberty Thu 01-May-14 09:42:28

I'm not sure I would automatically equate pink with a girl nowadays...well not as much as I would have done 10 years ago.

I was sitting at a bus stop the other day, admiring 1 year old twin boys until their Dad said, "Aww what's up with my gorgeous girls?" blush

It wasn't just their lack of hair though, they really really did look male in their faces.

I wouldn't worry about it OP. Babies change constantly and quite quickly.

GingerPuddin Thu 01-May-14 09:44:22

I think often people just look at the hair. DS is nearly 3 and usually in jeans with a shirt with a fire engine or dinosaur on it. But since he has lovely blond curls people assume he's a girl. His hair isn't long only collar length at the back.
I don't mind I just think it's funny that people only focus on hair and miss the other obvious clues.

CocktailQueen Thu 01-May-14 09:44:22

Some people are just odd! I once had my 2yo dd with me, dressed in obviously girls clothes with pink trousers and sparkly wellies, and someone asked how old 'he' was. I was a bit, who? He??

OwlCapone Thu 01-May-14 09:45:23

My PFB had beautiful white blonde hair.

He's a hulking spotty teen now with mucky sand coloured hair. [sigh]

AlpacaLypse Thu 01-May-14 09:53:58

I had twins girls, and tended to go neutral colours/designs for their outfits. For some reason passing dear little old ladies used to launch into 'One of each, how nice' as an opening gambit time after time after time. Still mystifies me now, what's the difference between one tiny baby dressed in a white babygro and another tiny baby dressed in an identical white babygro?

Seatedhere Thu 01-May-14 09:56:00

People always think my boy is a wee girl.

He wears lots of navy striped shorts and t shirts i.e. generically boys/gender neutral clothing. He looks like a (beautiful) wee boy. His hair is a typical boys haircut with a floppy fringe but his white blonde curls are often clipped back from his forehead with a dinky clip. Cue every woman who has served me in a supermarket telling me what a beautiful girl I have.

I normally can't be bothered correcting them but once I replied - thank you he is beautiful, but he's a wee boy and the woman did an about face and said incredulously 'Are you sure?'.

I did think to myself I have been changing his nappy for 18months so yes pretty sure.

It amazes me how sometimes people don't see the actual child but instead look for signifiers of gender and base their decision on that even if it is patently wrong.

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