Name change because I'm scared of Aibu and I might actually be being a bit ungrateful / entitled.
DF is driving me a bit mad at the moment. To give some relevant background, I left home at 15 and have mostly financially supported myself since then. DF has occasionally gifted me money during that time including a contribution to my (cheap) wedding and first car and for a brief period gave me some monthly 'pocket money' although it wasn't actually a regular thing. I haven't asked for this and tbh wouldn't because DF can be a bit awkward where money is concerned.
Not 100% relevant but I have 2 siblings who lived at home until university, got taken on family holidays and were given generous allowances while at university so they didn't need to work.
6 years ago DF decided to move in with his partner, he didn't want to sell his house because he wanted my siblings to have somewhere they could keep their stuff / come home to in the holidays so he offered to rent it to me for a nominal rent with an offer to sell it to me at a later date when I could afford it (no timescale set).
Fast forward to now. DF has decided that he wants to sell the house now and we have 2 months to move out because 1) He doesn't want to do the work it needs to make it worth full market rent (it needs a fair bit of modernisation to say the least) and 2) He thinks he can make more money from a holiday rental (he's not badly off currently). We won't be in a position to buy for another 18 months or so.
That's fine, his choice, we're a bit sad because we saw this as our forever home and the timing couldn't be worse in some ways but I've been perfectly understanding about it if secretly a bit irritated
However, he keeps on and on about how much of a favour he's done me letting me live here and how much he's subsidised (sp?) our rent and how grateful we should be.
I kind of think - actually you did what suited you. We didn't suggest living here, we actually paid more rent than you requested because it seemed fairer and you could have at any point you wished increased the rent and we'd have paid it or chosen to move. The reason you didn't do that is because you're still storing stuff here and don't want to replace the kitchen, bathroom etc to make it worth 'full' rent. Also as happens of your children, even with the rent 'subsidising' I think I'm still low down on the most costly list.
I am grateful for having lived here and it has obviously helped us financially too but the more I get told how much of a favour has been done for me the less grateful I get. AIBU?
AIBU?
and being an ungrateful sod?
GenericUsername · 24/04/2014 20:38
Heh Gamer, I wouldn't say I was perfectly ok. I am upset about having to move and (a bit over dramatically) losing my home and I'm pissed off that he changed his mind about selling it to us because it's messed up our plans also because he chose such an awful time to decide this - we have a lot of stress going on with the children at the moment.
But, living here has given us the opportunity to save for a deposit so I am grateful for that and it is of course his house and his money, he doesn't owe us anything. I'm trying to think of it as though DF as a landlord is separate from DF as a father so landlord DF has to think in business terms and while I can be sad about it I don't have a right to be annoyed.
Sorry that's a bit waffly and I'm not sure it makes sense.
Thom, I was tempted to remind him of those things but then I wondered if mentioning it would make me sound very ungrateful and so came here to ask 
.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.