To feel like I am a terrible mother!

(5 Posts)
LittleBellaMummy Thu 24-Apr-14 06:44:23

Me and DH split a while ago. Since then I am having to work more, do more around the house etc. I feel like I just don't spend as much quality time with DS as I used to. I feel like I don't cook as nice meals as I used to (less time and money), the house isn't as tidy as it used to be and I could go on.....
I am hoping that IANBU and that it is normal to feel like this after a separation and that some day things will start to feel normal again?!?

Eebahgum Thu 24-Apr-14 06:57:57

I think you need to have a think about what makes a "good" mother. I'm pretty confident it isn't a tidy house and carefully prepared meals. You have a lot on your plate at the moment and some things are going to have to slip. It sounds to me like you've let the right things slip to the benefit of your child.

Delphiniumsblue Thu 24-Apr-14 07:00:46

It is like a bereavement and you have to give yourself time. You will come through but there is no easy way. Just tell yourself that it will get better. My best wishes for the future. Your DS doesn't want the 'perfect' mother, he wants you.

MyBaby1day Fri 25-Apr-14 05:59:48

I'm sure you're a brilliant Mum, be easier on yourself, you clearly love your DS. Hope all goes well!.

Canthisonebeused Fri 25-Apr-14 08:46:53

Sounds like you life and the life you are giving dc is not much different than a lot of working parents. It is incredibly difficult being the sole responsibility for everything. I know how that feels. But I'm sure you dc is perfectly happy in his daily routine. I'm a student and working full time. My course and work placement came to an end and I've been taking and picking my dd up from school all this week, she complained about this as she wants to go to the child minder. I've felt incredibly guilty before this about dropping her early and collecting her late. I'm sure emotionally things a very raw and will improve, but feelings of guilt and wanting to do right by your dcs is perfectly normal. Your dcs won't appreciate you for a clean and tidy house, nor for the hours you did or didn't put in with homework. They will appreciate for being a hard working mum who does all she can for them.

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