To be absaloutely terrified of the sleepless nights again...

(35 Posts)
KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Wed 23-Apr-14 20:03:31

I am really broody and me and dh are trying for another baby (dd is one)

However, after a few sleepless nights with a poorly dd, I have been subjected to the misery once again of lack of sleep. Quite frankly I am scared I wont be able to do this all again?

Dd is generally a good sleeper and has been from around 7 months.

The hardest part of the newborn phase was the lack of sleep. I am so desperate for another dc, but I do feel terrified about havin to cope with two dc and no sleep.

I realise women do it everyday around the world, I have mates who can cope fine with sleep deprivation- but I literally felt ill and low When I had it. I know it is fr such a relatively short time though, so AIBU to be so scared?

ICanSeeTheSun Wed 23-Apr-14 20:05:56

Some how you will do it.

DS is 8 years old and I still get sleepless night ( he is asd) but I went on to have DD who is coming up 5.

hotcrosshunny Wed 23-Apr-14 20:06:33

YANBU. It was hard. But I coslept which made it easier. I also found it easier because I looked at my eldest and knew it would pass. And it did. sort of

softlysoftly Wed 23-Apr-14 20:09:58

YANBU I have 2 DDs, DD2 was on a 45 minute sllep cycle until 8 months shock she nearly killed me.

She's now 22 months and I'm accidently pg (30 weeks and joyful about it now) with DC3 and my overwhelming fear is of the newborn period especially as DD2 still wakes in the night (DD1 is luckily a good sleeper).

So YANBU to be realistically afraid.

BUT

Its a very short time in a (god willing) very long life. And when I see them run to check on each other in a morning, comfort each other when they fall, make each other laugh uncontrollably with silly things and when DD2 learnt to say "I lova my xxy" it made it all seem completely worthwhile.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Wed 23-Apr-14 20:10:09

I am 31 weeks with number 2 and I'm already having sleepless nights just worrying about it. Yanbu!! Dd was a terrible sleeper, we co-slept out if necessity but there were still many nights of pacing the hallway from 2am-5am rocking and sshing her.

I keep telling myself it will be ok, and it won't last long. Dd started sleeping through at 6months. I can take 6months sad I hope....

beccajoh Wed 23-Apr-14 20:11:12

I'm doing this right now and I won't lie it is hard, but it's not terrible. I do have the advantage that my toddler still wasn't sleeping through when DS was born, although she's got much better recently, so I guess I hadn't got used to a decent night's sleep again. I just try to go to bed early and DH gets them both up in the morning whilst I have an extra hour.

mumofboyo Wed 23-Apr-14 20:15:29

Yanbu
I was worried about the sleepless nights too but I needn't have. Dc2 slept fine - mostly - from around 6wks old and because dc1 was so young (17 months gap) he still napped during the day. I tried really hard to time it so their naps overlapped which gave me an hour's rest during the day, which helped immensely.

lucy101 Wed 23-Apr-14 20:16:53

You might just get a sleeper this time! My ds is 3 and is a pretty bad sleeper and always has been so I was terrified too... but my 4 week old is a real sleeper which is a huge relief. I make sure I sleep in the day too though when she naps. I know I have been lucky....

IWorshipSatin Wed 23-Apr-14 20:24:42

I'm like you OP, I need my sleep. It was pretty much the only thing I was terrified about with my second. My oldest had been sleeping through for about a year.

As it turned out, the health of my youngest was so bad that we quickly got used to only getting 4 hours sleep a night. It meant that once it went up to 6 hours it felt like we got loads of sleep. Our experience wasn't the norm but we still got through it. Trust me you'll be fine.

Spend some time researching sleep theories and such. Routine is everything, getting them self-settling, etc. My youngest is 10mo now and things are so much better, it felt endless at the time but looking back it was such a brief period and I miss certain parts of it - the 2am cup of tea, reading the Daily Mail website on my phone whilst I rocked her. Everything passes and it's so worth the short term pain.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Wed 23-Apr-14 20:28:51

Thanks ladies. So reassuring to hear it is do able!
Also, glad I am not a wimp and this fear is justifiable and common. I hope I am lucky enough to get a sleeper. Dd never napped until she was 6mo. Now she does, I will do all I can to ensure the naps are around the same time as a half hour lay down can do wonders!

WineSpider Wed 23-Apr-14 20:29:14

My DD is 6 months old and I'm slowly coming round to the idea of having another baby in the future.

I agree that those early days were just so awful that it really puts me off ever doing it again. Friends who are on number two say that it isn't as bad as you think - you know what you're doing, you have less to give up in terms of lifestyle, lie ins etc and it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

It must be otherwise everyone would stop at one, right?!

Purplepoodle Wed 23-Apr-14 20:30:58

Yanbu. I have a pathological dread of the first 8 months or so as mine don't sleep. All you can do is put mechanisms in place to deal with it. If you can afford daycare for your older child or if a friend or relative is willing to help out with childcare while you catch up on sleep it can make all the difference.

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Wed 23-Apr-14 20:31:49

Obviously dd did nap occasionally- but It was never for long. It used to really enrage me when people would talk about newborns being easy 'as all they do is sleep...'
I hope my next dc is a newborn of that variety!
Not that I would change my dd of course smile

Mintyy Wed 23-Apr-14 20:32:58

But sleeping through reliably from 7 months or so is a very good sleeper!

I'd wait a bit longer to ttc if you are in so much dread about more sleepless nights.

badidea Wed 23-Apr-14 20:34:28

DS2 is 10.5 months so I can remember the newborn sleepless nights and to be honest it really isn't that bad. I've never really understood how obsessed whiny parents get about sleep and lack thereof. DS1 never slept through until he was 2.5yrs, you suck it up and you cope.

I love the newborn stage, lack of sleep would never put me off, not when you have a snuggly, curled up, gorgeous smelling baby in your arms grin

..yeah, maybe I'm a bit broody too.....

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Wed 23-Apr-14 20:35:05

Is it Mintyy? When she barely napped? According to my friends and fam that is fairly normal...

Inglori0us Wed 23-Apr-14 21:51:04

It is bleak. I can't sugar coat it.
My dd (just turned 2) slept through with a dreamfeed from 3 months. I now also have a 15 day old ds who wants to feed every 2 hours. I feel like a zombie.
But, it won't last forever and it is worth it overall.

technosausage Wed 23-Apr-14 22:11:11

My dd (3 weeks) is turning out to be just like her brother, he never slept for longer than 45 mins until he was 6 months old shock I don't cope well on broken sleep and did suffer from pnd, I used to write down how long he would sleep for. I've learnt to just accept it this time, sleep will happen just not right now. I've got to cope because I don't have a choice with a toddler and a newborn.

JonesRipley Wed 23-Apr-14 22:48:28

YANBU

It's hard but at least you'll get that phase over with quickly.

I couldn't have another because I could't go back there.

Some people cope better on broken sleep than others.

JonesRipley Wed 23-Apr-14 22:48:53

I have 2 BTW

maddening Wed 23-Apr-14 22:56:32

At least this time you can prepare as you know what to expect - it hits you like a train first time round but now you can set up your bedroom etc for the long nights etc and if dd is 2 when the future dc arrives get a few mornings of preschool going to give you nap time in the mornings.

SaggyAndLucy Wed 23-Apr-14 23:07:37

you might get a good sleeper. dd slept overnight from day 3!

Forgettable Wed 23-Apr-14 23:31:01

Yes, DS2 slept through 10-6 from 10 weeks. He was BF as well.

SS3J Thu 24-Apr-14 00:24:31

I was terrified too, after feeling like I was going to die from sleep deprivation with my first. I decided to do things a bit differently this time. Have more of a routine (especially for feeds) and so far it has totally paid off. DC2 is 100 times easier than his sister ever was and of course I am up in the night to feed (like now!) But it's once or twice rather than 6 or 8 times. I can cope with that! Good luck!

KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn Thu 24-Apr-14 07:55:29

ssj3 yes I can cope with once or twice. I will def be vigilant with a routine smile

saggy and forgettable - you lucky swines!
Secrets please ?!

madsening thats sounds like a plan (pre school)

techno aww, I empathise smile my dd slept better than that, but I had pnd too and couldn't sleep even when she did due to pnd ...

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