to think this is a double standard?

(54 Posts)

People at work actively berate me for being 'posh'.

I am probably middle class but have just left uni and am living independently on the lowest salary in this place (16k).

They say things to me like 'you got a plum in your mouth?' and 'saw you on Britains Got Talent on the weekend' (ref 'Lettice' with the violin). Sometimes I am on the phone to a customer and they mimick me, 'oh loooooveeely, thaaaank you' in a really shrill, Queens English accent. makes me feel like fucking shit.

If I had to give you a voice twin, it would be someone like Holly Willoughby. Certainly not as well pronounced as BBC types.

It can be a bit playground actually and they group up and do it together and I feel myself getting hot and angry and defensive (tho not saying anything ofcourse). I think I'm probably B a little U because I am sensitive to their jibes anyway (they are quite rude to me about my weight) and I know there are much bigger problems in the world but this has been going on for months and months.

what pisses me off though is imagining this going the other way. Would they dare to call someone common or compare them to people off the telly? 'Saw you on Benefits Street on the weekend'? I don't think they would. is it becoming a bad thing to not have a dialect? Do I need to lighten up?

Well this is just it Objection and I guess my wider question on it all is when did people with no dialect, just normal, RP English accents, become unusual or at least unusually 'posh'?

And colleague never did give me an answer when I asked if he would be quite so mocking of someone that was 'common'. To me it is a bit like people being outraged at calling someone fat, yet thinking it is fine to go around telling people they are 'soooo thin' - equally shitty IMO

My DH gets lots of comments about his "poshness" too. He's a teacher at a comp. He fears one day he may just retaliate with comments about other teachers' commonness… hope that day won't come!

Emmaroos Wed 23-Apr-14 18:04:27

It seems that when you have been clear that a topic is hurtful and off limits it doesn't reoccur. Should you have to? No, probably not, but people have different ideas of what is acceptable/funny/friendly etc. I don't agree with other suggestions that you play along or laugh it off, and I think it is unreasonable to complain to 3rd parties if you haven't been clear with the people involved. Don't play the victim. If it is affecting you enough to discuss it here, then the first step for any assertive, sensible, grown-up is to clearly state that you want it to stop. After you have done that unambiguously, then you can be clear whether people have been tactless and insensitive (as with the man who commented on your weight) or are intentionally bullying you in which case you should take action.

Pinkynotperky Wed 23-Apr-14 19:24:43

I live in Bucks I'm from Oxfordshire though... People think my oxford accent is posh! Never knew I had an accent...!

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