To worry about dh going back to full time education

[Bitofadilema]

Namechanged

I am pregnant with baby number 2. Have a six month old baby (was advised to go straight away again)

I am in full time permanent work - good income and got married three years ago. Dh owns a property of much higher value and when tenanted, the mortage costs I the same as my own (so both pay 700 per month)

So I pay the mortgage on our home. His is in negative equity and won't sell at the moment, though he could sell it and break even then we could both pay this one.

He is in good professional permanent work also ( though industry is at risk and he doesn't really like it)

He wants to do a postgrad in teacher training. He wants the good hours and holidays. This would be in a year or two. We live in a nice area with country schools and I not think the difficulties other school have.

I am really worried about money. He was really annoyed with me for putting a downer on the idea. I am paying 700 a minth mortgage. We shop at aldi. I need to change my car due to baby 2, childcare ( I could cover both at a push but why should I ? )

We broth going on about our business. We have rarely rowed in three years but I am a bit pissed off to I still pay all th mortgage gphere and now this hair brained idea too.

[planesick]

take it from a teacher... it is not good hours and good holidays.
I go to work at 7am, sometimes 730... I work all day having lunch on the run... children leave at 315/330... if I am not doing an after school club (which some HT are insisting on if you want to go up the payscale), staff meeting, IEP meetings, KS meetings, planning meetings, I am marking, preparing and assessing childrens work. That is when Ofsted is not coming. I am often working til 10/11pm marking and planning.
Holidays, particularly half term holidays are often taken up with planning, assessing, making resources. sometimes we move classrooms so have to set it all up again.
it is not the easy ride, it is stressful and full of HT and managers who cant teach so move into management positions to hide that fact.
Suggest he volunteers in a school to get a feel for the job first... most graduates quit the teaching profession in the first 5 years... there is a reason for this!

[planesick]

I am primary by the way... secondary might be different

[Bitofadilema]

I totally realise it isn't an easy ride. His friend went back and did the course but he was lucky to be get a lovely school. Also dh isn't very efficient at studying ( though has a Masters he hated studying and even when an interview comes up, he spends days away preparing) I am not trying to belittle him, just being realistic.

[ilovesooty]

He wants to do a postgrad in teacher training. He wants the good hours and holidays. This would be in a year or two. We live in a nice area with country schools and I not think the difficulties other school have

I suggest he does some research on teacher workloads. And what makes him think he'll even get a job, let alone on one of these nice schools?

[VivaLeBeaver]

My brother did this. But it took him 4 years as he had to do a degree first. Gave up a well paid managerial job to do it. He loves teaching.

I do think if its doable then he should be able to do it. You only get one life and regret is an awful thing. Its for one year.

Dh also supported me while I went back to uni for three years. He never questioned it which I'm grateful for. I now have a career which most of the time I enjoy whereas I was very unhappy before.

[Eebahgum]

I have just quit my 14 year career as a teacher. He seriously needs to do some research if his motivating factors are hours and holidays. It's fairly common for teachers to be working 60 hour weeks at the moment, and the "holidays" are essentially what other professions would call "working from home" - we can choose whether to be at school or at home but there's still work to be done. My motivation for quitting is to try to regain a decent work life balance - having evenings and weekends back will be amazing.

[maddy68]

It's really difficult to get a teaching job these days. No one leaves the good schools! I have to drive over an hour to work every day which on tops of the huge workload adds a further 2 hours onto my day. He needs to be realistic.

[redexpat]

This just came up on my facebook homepage.

Are you against the idea of him teaching per se, or just the timing? In which case I don't think it would be unreasonable to say that you would fully support him if you both worked together first to make sure that it was financially viable.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

He wants the good hours and holidays

hahahahahahaha.

wipes tear from eye.

[Worriedkat]

My husband has been a teacher for 14 years in a good secondary school, nice catchment. He would love a job with good hours and holidays too.

Is he one of life's deluded fantasists that drifts around trying all these good ideas for about 6 months then moves on to the next unworkable unrealistic plan?

[chicaguapa]

Fwiw my DH did this. He took a 50% paycut and not to mention the lack of income from September to June (he was lucky enough to find a teaching position that paid from 1 July). It was hard financially and we took every means-tested grant/ loan going. But he waited until DC2 had started school so we were in a slightly better off financial situation and we were also lucky that we didn't have any loans so were able to cut right back on our outgoings.

But I 100% supported DH doing it as he had wanted to be a teacher since I'd known him. I also knew he'd make an excellent teacher.

The point is that I think as a partnership you have to support each other's dreams and goals. I feel like a bloody saint sometimes for how well I've coped with his career change and how life is these days with a stressed DH who shouts at the DC when he gets home. With a comparatively shit wage coming in. But I know it was worth it as I'd hate to have been responsible for a potential lifelong regret for not having done it.

The thing to do is make sure it's not a whim. The holidays and hours (ha!) were secondary to the teaching iyswim? I don't think I'd advocate anyone going into teaching with those expectations tbh. They were a consideration when DH went into it but only from the POV of finances and that not having to pay for holiday child care went towards slightly mitigating the salary cut.

[HopefulHamster]

Well he'll have to at least sell his house then won't he, so that when he is earning again he can 'pay you back' by you both sharing the load.

[Bitofadilema]

cicha that's exactly it. I don't want to stop him from doing this if it is his dream. But I am annoyed that he won't sell his house to enable us to pay of this one for a year or two and this is a whim to give him an easier life. As it is, he spends a lot of the weekend doing DIY at the other house, going to his parents, doing hobbies.

[Nennypops]

Point out to him that if he goes for this he can wave goodbye to his relaxing weekends doing DIY and his hobbies?

Seriously, if his only motivation is the good hours and holidays, he needs a massive reality check, because otherwise he is going to hate it. I think they're repeating "Tough Young Teachers" at the moment, it could be a good idea to make him sit down and watch it and have a think about whether dealing with classes like that and working regular 14 hour days is really how he wants to spend the rest of his working life.

[chicaguapa]

If he's in negative equity then I don't see how selling it would help with the mortgage on your family home. Especially if the rent covers the repayments on the tenanted house. It sounds like it just takes care of itself.

As it is, he spends a lot of the weekend doing DIY at the other house, going to his parents, doing hobbies.

I can categorically state that he won't have time for any of those things. At the beginning he'll spend the whole weekend working & planning. Then eventually after a few years' teaching he'll be able to have a day off at the weekend but he'll need at least one day on school work.

He might be able to do them in the holidays but it depends if he'll be responsible for childcare then or if your DC will still be going to nursery.

I guess the thing to do is think about what choices you'd like to have. What if you wanted to retrain and your DH said that was fine as long as you could still cover the mortgage on the family house? Would you feel stifled?

Perhaps say that you support the idea in principle but he should wait until the DC are at school. Then the tenanted house would be worth more and you'd be in a better financial situation to cope with it. It sounds like it was a couple of years off anyway.

[HopefulHamster]

chica I think he pays £700 after the tenant's rent? So even if negative equity (and house prices are going up so it might not be that bad considering he's probably already paid some of it off), if the loss was small they'd soon benefit by sharing the cost of the other house.

[Bitofadilema]

House prices aren't going up and houses aren't shifting at all

[HopefulHamster]

Sorry OP so would it help you to sell the house or not? I thought it would from the other posts?

[Kafri]

If he wants to do this then IMO it's a 2 way street - you support him and he does what he can to make things work financially while he's studying.

But!! I think he's being a little unrealistic with his 'good hours and hols' expectations.
I don't know a single teacher who works 9-3.30 and has 13 weeks hols!!
It really goads me when people assume teachers have it easy. They work bloody hard far more hours out of school hours and get far less recognition than they deserve.

I agree with a pp, perhaps he needs to spend some time volunteering in a school to get an idea whether it's what he really wants

[crazydashboard]

I'm a secondary teacher and there is lots to like about the profession, but he has to really WANT to do it! It certainly isn't easy and evenings and weekends don't really exist - same applies to holidays. I agree with what was said above, it is kind of 'working from home' and if you aren't working you are thinking about work or feel guilty for not spending longer on marking or planning. As much as you tell yourself you won't, you will.
As I said however, it is a rewarding profession, but there is no such thing as an 'easy school', each school will have its own challenges (and positives of course). I am panicking however about how I will manage being a mum and a full time teacher, there just aren't enough hours in the day it seems especially around exam time.
Just get him to do some more research and some observing in a school to get an idea of what it it really like. The training year is also VERY challenging for all sorts of reasons so get him to also research that and speak to teachers about their experiences, especially with children.

Best of luck!

[Bitofadilema]

hopeful I would prefer if he sold. He wouldn't make money but he's not going to anyway. I think the market here will pick up. There are no signs. Then if he paid the mortgage he with me for a couple of years, babies will be a bit more independant rte. it would be a better situation.

[Bitofadilema]

Sorry. Me again. The atmosphere isn't great. I did say to him that he would still have to help with childcare as I can't pay a big mortgage and two babies in childcare. He said of course he would. I replied 'with what?' And he said that is still only thinking and the course wasnt going to start tomorrow.

[Bitofadilema]

Also, apologies for spelling error.

[chicaguapa]

Sorry to hear discussions are not going well. Do you have to decide now? He has said it's not going to start tomorrow.

DH and I share finances so I do find the my house, your house, I can't pay etc a bit . As I said before, would you expect to have to cover everything you do now if you stopped earning for any reason or wanted to leave your job? Maybe you would, I don't know.

I remember a conversation between DB and DSIL where she was saying how hard she was finding it working with 2 small DC and DB said that if she could find another way to bring in £x she could give up work. DH & I both said that we found the attitude a bit odd but maybe we're the ones who are different?

The joint finances definitely made it easier for DH to go into teaching anyway. I even offered to go full time if necessary (but rescinded the offer once it looked like a real possibility ).

But I can't really help with your situation as I don't understand it iyswim? Other than for your DH to be realistic about teaching and to look into the issues teachers are facing today. The NUT have just voted for another strike in June so they're rumbling on.

[HopefulHamster]

He should have a read of the teacher boards here and see how many are struggling. I have no doubt it is a rewarding career for some, but I think it's harder and harder to find that sweet spot with all the pressures on them.

Does he pay towards childcare now?