To think this other dog walker could have been more understanding/helpful?

[SelectAUserName]

We have a rescue dog who has a socialisation issue around some (not all) other dogs, which manifests itself as fear-aggression. He is fine with people, it's just dogs and mainly other spaniels and dark/black dogs. We are actively working with a behaviourist to build his confidence and we try to manage it by walking him in quiet places. Usually my DH and I try to walk him together, so one of us can concentrate on SelectASpaniel and the other be "on point" for other dogs, but my DH is in hospital this weekend so I'm on my own.

I took him out earlier to a spot that is usually relatively quiet - although grassed, it is comparatively close to a road so not many walkers choose to let their dogs off. One of SAS's plus points is that he is 100% off-lead (ex-working dog) so by going to the farthest point from the road I can still give him a little off-lead time to play 'fetch' etc. We were just finishing up when a man appeared with a black LabX-type. I put SAS back on his lead just as the man started to let his dog off. We would have to pass them to get back on the pavement and SAS had now spotted the dog and was starting to get agitated; not barking but right up on his toes and trembling.

I called across and asked the man, politely, if he would mind keeping his dog on the lead until we had got past. He just said "it's alright, he's friendly" (heartsink moment - how many times have I heard that before?) and continued to let his dog off. The dog started to trot towards us and that was enough for SAS to launch towards it - no danger of touching it, there was still a good few feet between them and it's an ordinary lead not an extendable one - but barking and lunging. Unsurprisingly the other dog started to bark back and the man got really cross and started shouting that I shouldn't be out with a dangerous dog and being generally unpleasant. I tried to ignore him while dragging SAS away as far from the other dog as possible; not an easy task as he is a big solid springer. He made no attempt to move his dog away and I called over "look, you can see I'm struggling, can you call your dog to heel so I can get past and leave you in peace".

He did so with very bad grace and continued to have a go at me until eventually, once I'd got past and had SAS's attention back on me, I turned round and shouted back "it's ignorant tossers like you who make rehabilitating a rescue dog a million times harder". I marched off with him still shouting after me, got a couple of streets away and then burst into tears - I think it was the adrenaline wearing off, the shock of him being so aggressive and the worry over my DH's illness all coming together.

But honestly, WIBU to expect him to keep his dog on its lead for the two extra minutes it would have taken us to get past after I asked him?

[GeordieMama]

YANBU

You explained the situation and asked politely. That bloke was rude and inconsiderate.
I've had a dog with similar problems and it's hard but it sounds like you're doing a good job with rehabilitation. Best of luck

[Scarlettsstars]

Yanbu at all. I feel your pain, having had rescues with various problems induced by their prior lives for most of my life. People can be very censorious and rude and you do feel like saying "look, I'm trying to save this dog's life here. If I fail and he gets returned to a rescue, what do you think happens to him?" I was once almost in tears with one elderly lady, who was kindly motivated but could not understand that her giving my boy treats was exacerbating his tendency to jump up at strangers, and as a Deerhiund x that jumping wasn't a joke. Just remember you're doing a great thing here - well done for taking a rescue !

[WorraLiberty]

So in short, you asked another dog owner to call his dog to heel so you could get by with your agitated dog and he didn't do it.

YANBU, it's totally his fault for assuming just because his dog is ok with others that yours would be too.

Rescue or not, not all dogs are ok with other dogs.

[Methe]

Well it does sound like he was a bit of a tosser and could have been more accommodating but it is your dog with the issue, isn't it and if you can't handle it where other off lead dogs might be you ought to be walking it elseware. I hope you had it muzzled.

[Greyhound]

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable. I detest this kind of dog walker. I work as a dog walker myself and have had to put up with other people's dogs running up and causing trouble.

Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

[Floralnomad]

He was unpleasant and rude but you should be able to manage your dog and if you are not physically strong enough to do that then maybe you shouldn't take him out alone. Hope your DH is home and healthy soon.

[whereisshe]

YANBU, you were being responsible with your dog on a lead, you gave him warning that your dog wouldn't take kindly to his dog saying hello, so he shouldn't be surprised at the outcome. I'm that he yelled at you, some people are such twats. It's not as if needing to put a dog on a lead is a hassle.

[slartybartfast]

my puppy cried with fear when we met about 3 Alsatians and a couple of boxers recently. she rolled on her back, usual behaviour, but it was just too much, and she cried, and the ignorant people with her, just looked stupidly at me when i asked them to call their dogs off because mine was scared.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

The other dog owner was BU and showed poor understanding. I think you handled it well and hats off for keeping tears at bay until you were out of sight. As you say no doubt a reaction to the situation mixed with the stress about DH.

Best wishes to your DH.

[PoloMintCity]

This winds me right up so I sympathise! If I see a dog coming I suspect I'll cause Polodog to give a fear aggression response she goes straight on her lead. The number of times other owners have ignored my/our body language and let their dog galumph up to us and then got shirty that she launches herself at said dog!! Sounds like you are doing a good job, well done. And hope DH better soon.

[Nennypops]

Yanbu. Your dog was on a lead and clearly was therefore not dangerous, all he had to do was call his dog off, it shouldn't even have been necessary for you to ask.

[SelectAUserName]

Methe There is no "elsewhere". This is the quietest place where there is some grass, it's unusual to find other dogs on there because of its proximity to the road. There is a popular dog-walking spot in the other direction which we always avoid because it's the canine equivalent of the M25.

SelectASpaniel is not muzzled. We discussed this with the behaviourist and her professional opinion is that is makes a fearful dog more fearful because they feel even more helpless, and so makes the behaviour worse and the rehabiliation longer. He has never bitten another dog while we have had him, because we manage him carefully and keep him out of biting range - which I did today, even though it was more of a struggle than ideal. If it ever happened that another dog was loose while SAS was on-lead (which he always is around other dogs) and got close enough to let SAS bite him, then I'm afraid I would consider that the other dog's owner's lookout for not having their dog under close control, but it hasn't happened yet and is unlikely to.

Normally if I see another dog I try to avoid confrontation altogether - walk off in the opposite direction, cross the road etc - but we were at one end of the grass beside a wall and the only way back to the pavement was past the other dog.

Thank you for the supportive words, especially from fellow rescue-owners and for the good wishes for my DH. Unfortunately as it's Easter weekend he won't be home until Tuesday as there are no ward rounds today or tomorrow.

[KatieKaye]

you did nothing wrong and he was a complete prat. It does sound like he got a shock though, so maybe he's learnt his lesson?

[littledrummergirl]

We have had the same thing with our rescue dog, I walk him in quiet places where he can chase his ball and most of the time we are fine.
My response to idiots who say their dog is fine is "thats lovely, mine isnt". He then goes crazy and reinforces what I have told them.
The biggest problem I have had is when the owner isnt in the same field as us. I have on occasion had to drop the lead as I was flat on my back with mine guarding me.
Our dog injured his tail once and kept chewing the bandages so as well as the cone he had to be muzzled. The amount of shitty remarks I got about dangerous dogs was ridiculous.
Some owners are irresponsible twats who always believe they know best. Ignore.

[rumbleinthrjungle]

At times I have to use a mobility scooter and my dog was great at walking on the harness with the scooter until some insisted his dogs (five of them) had to be allowed to charge at her and mob her despite my repeated attempts to herd them off and shouts to call his dogs away and explaining why. I kept getting back the 'it's fine, they're friendly!'. YES, BUT MINE ISNT ENJOYING THIS. She was so utterly terrified at being surrounded that she broke the harness to get away and I've never been able to use the scooter with her on lead since. His totally self centred thoughtlessness wrecked that option for us forever in a few minutes.

Some people are total twats about their dog invading the space of anyone and everyone off lead, usually with the dog not trained to recall so if anything goes wrong you're dealing with your own terrified dog and another completely uncontrolled dog bouncing around it making the situation worse..... Half the time the dog isn't playing as the owner thinks, but is actually charging and bullying other dogs and the owner has no comprehension at all of their dog's bad behaviour. And then you get the truly stupid 'if your dog does that you shouldn't be out with it/have it' if your dog dares to panic or show distress.



Hope your dog hasn't been too set back by this. Have you tried a 'give me space' jacket on the dog?

[vjg13]

YANBU, the man was probably one of the Sunday dog walking brigade who probably do very little with their dogs during the week and then are out at the weekend. I hate weekend dog walks for just this reason.

Horrible to be shouted out by someone like that though.

[Whoknowswhocares]

The other dog owner was a rude, irresponsible twat. You were completely in the right.

It never ceases to amaze me how ignorant owners can be to the dangers of allowing their 'friendly' dogs to run up to any/every dog they want to, regardless of whether they are on lead or giving off uncomfortable body language.
Just what exactly they think their dog is going to get out of it other than an altercation and maybe a bite, i can't understand.
Often it's an excuse for those too idle to train their dog properly to pretend the dog has their permission to approach, when in fact it is because they are too damn useless and lazy to teach an effective recall.

[Jolleigh]

I know this situation intimately...happens to me pretty much daily. Coincidentally, I have a rescued cocker spaniel with the exact same issue. I keep him on the lead with a strap muzzle just in case. My standard response to 'don't worry, my dog is friendly' is 'he'll be both friendly and covered in blood if you're daft enough to let him approach us'. Yes, it's not a nice way to talk to people but it gets the point across and I can explain things properly once their dog is under control.

[ItsAFuckingVase]

I don't like dogs, am absolutely terrified of them. However, I completely empathise as I've been in situations where I've asked people to keep their dogs close as I pass and often hear about how friendly their dog is. I've never disputed how friendly they are, and totally get that it's my issue, but a little compassion isn't hard to give!

[diddl]

Would your dog have been the same if the other owner had put his dog on a lead?

He could have been helpful I agree, but it does sound as if you can't manage your dog tbh.

I mean the other dog didn't actually come right up to your dog & bother it.

What were you doing in terms of distracting your dog?

[ErrolTheDragonsEgg]

YANBU. Hope you're ok now.

'It's all right, he's friendly' so misses the point, if the other dog is afraid or aggressive. Used to be quite funny with my last dachshund - we had to warn off every boxer-owner we encountered because following being injured by an over-playful one, our dog wanted to wreak vengeance on every boxer.

If we're ever given a warning or advice like you gave, SelectA, I heed it and say thank you - I appreciate being warned, and am glad that people like you are putting in the effort with such dogs.

[JohnCusacksWife]

He was being U for shouting at you and being aggressive. But if you struggle to manage the dog alone then you shouldn't be taking him out. And speaking as a dog owner whose dog has been savagely attacked by another dog resulting in a major operation then i think you should have your dog muzzled since you know he's aggressive.

[LangenFlugelHappleHoff]

dogs in need of space. The yellow ribbon people who have started a campaign where dogs will wear yellow ribbons, leads, collars and vests so people are aware they need more space.

Might be worth a look. It's popularity is rising and becoming more and more recognised.

[SelectAUserName]

diddl If the other owner had kept his dog on the lead at the point I'd first asked him, I could have steered a wider course round them, with me between SAS and the other dog, and kept SAS within his "safe zone". He would have watched the other dog all the way past and he would have been "on high alert" IYSWIM, but he would not have lunged or barked. Because the other dog was loose and therefore able to close the distance between them to within a few feet coming directly head-on, that was enough to trigger SAS's response.

I would love not to have to take him out alone, but as my DH is in hospital, we live almost 100 miles from any family and I can't leave him unwalked, I don't have much choice in the matter at the moment. I do what I can in taking him to the quietest spots I can find and if other owners act responsibly, I don't have any problem managing him. It's only if they disregard my warning and their dog gets close enough to trigger his response that I briefly struggle to turn him round in order to move him away. Once I have his focus back on me and the other dog is no longer in his direct line of sight, he is back to being the beautifully-trained polite dog he is 99% of the time.

JohnCusacksWife, as the only way SAS would have the opportunity to attack another dog would be if the other dog came into his space, given that he is always instantly put on-lead if another dog appears, I'll continue to follow the advice of the behaviourist and leave him unmuzzled. Sorry to hear about your dog though.

rumble That's awful :( Hope your dog is okay.

Thanks Langen, I'll look into that.

[Floralnomad]

As I have said on a different thread I don't think that the yellow ribbon scheme is advisable if you are letting the dog off lead .