What is the polite thing to do when you find out a friend is pregnant through a facebook group (before the friend has announced the pregnancy)?

(9 Posts)
ikeaismylocal Sat 12-Apr-14 18:58:34

I am pregnant with DC2, I live in abroad and am a member of quite a few facebook groups for English speakiers.

I joined a group something along the lines of "pregnancy and birth in 2014 in IKEA land" and I saw that a friend of mine is in the group and also pregnant, due around the same time as me.

I met my friend when we were both on maternity leave with our DC1, now the children are at nursery we don't see so much of each other.

What is the correct thing to do? Send a message saying I'm pregnant too (I havn't told many people yet, scan is next week) congratulations! it will be so fun to hang out with babies #2 together. Do i ignore and leave the group?

The same thing happened to me, I joined a tandom breastfeeding group and posted a question and a real life friend was in the group and congratulated me whilst replying to my question.

Sorry about it being a facebook question!

TidyDancer Sat 12-Apr-14 18:59:56

The best thing to do is say nothing. Your friend hasn't made it public for a reason so it's best that you respect that.

ikeaismylocal Sat 12-Apr-14 19:01:46

Should I leave the group then? Or should I post in the group and leave it up to my friend to decide if she wants to keep her pregnancy private from me or not?

I ment to post in chat, apologies!

RunnerBeen Sat 12-Apr-14 19:01:47

I think if they are on a facebook group they are happy for people to know and maybe just haven't told you because as you say you aren't as close now.

i don't think sending a friendly "hello/congratulations" message would be inappropriate, she might welcome a rekindling of the friendship.

ICanSeeTheSun Sat 12-Apr-14 19:13:51

Is it a closed group.

I would just keep it to myself.

TidyDancer Sat 12-Apr-14 19:17:53

I don't think you need to leave the group or stop posting on it. Just let her control when she tells you.

MissDuke Sat 12-Apr-14 19:20:31

I would just continue as if you didn't see it - don't stop posting on the group if you normally post there.

ikeaismylocal Sat 12-Apr-14 20:22:52

I only joined the group tody, I think I will wait to post anything until I have had my scan next week and then I will do an anouncement on facebook and post in the group.

Thanks for the advice smile

deakymom Sun 13-Apr-14 10:46:59

pretend you haven't seen it act surprised and pleased when she says anything

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