To have wanted to say something?

(22 Posts)
brokenhearted55a Sat 12-Apr-14 09:55:47

Friend has a new baby as to many of my friends/colleagues.

met new baby for first time yesterday for a walk in the park. Mum has on thick tights, boots, dress, cardi, scarf, coat / mac.

Baby has on thin pinafore dress, long sleeved body suit,a pair of socks and a cellular blanket.

Baby is 10 days old and has bare legs, no cardigan or coat, no hat. It was only about 14 degrees!!!

I kept quiet but wanted to say ooh doesnt she need legs covered and a coat if you do.

or is there some self heating property I don't know about with newborns?

Marylou62 Sat 12-Apr-14 10:19:58

I sympathize but I don't see how you can say anything. The 'rule' used to be that babies should have one more layer than you do. I saw a baby screaming in a shop once. All red in the face. The Mother had taken her coat off but the baby was in her buggy, snowsuit on and raincover still down. I couldn't help myself and said that maybe baby was a little hot. Got a mouthful (which I deserved?).

brokenhearted55a Sat 12-Apr-14 10:24:52

Yeah you're right.
I didn't say anything and i wont but I was just genuinely surprised.
If an adult is too cold to wear a dress and bare legs out in the park then a new baby. ...

but you're right none of my business.

well you couldhave asked nicely?
but too late now.

katese11 Sat 12-Apr-14 10:37:05

It's a hard one to call and you can't necessarily judge by the mum's clothing. post partum I wore snuggly clothes to make my battered body feel comfy plus it was practical....tights as an extra layer in case of Pp bleeding, Cardi to use as a bfeeding cover etc. What were you wearing?

10 days old is pretty yyoung, they cant control their temperature at that age surely?

MrsHappyBee Sat 12-Apr-14 10:40:20

I would have said something to a friend, maybe felt the baby's legs as I was cooing and said 'Ooh they're a bit cold!".
It's a shame that nowadays mums don't always know the old-fashioned 'rules'. I was clueless as a new mum, but had heard about the one extra layer, and DC always wore hats when very young.

Bodicea Sat 12-Apr-14 11:13:55

Coming from a mum whose baby suffers with eczema I have been told by quite a few drs not to bundle them up to much.
Currently my baby goes out in a single baby grow, cotton booties, a light cotton blanket, sometimes a little cotton shrug and hot if it is a bit chilly/ we are out a while. They got hot really easily and most healthcare people will tell you babies are bundled up far too much - i know I was doing that in the early days .
It is difficult to know for sure whether she had enough on but honestly I think it it isnt your place to say.

Bodicea Sat 12-Apr-14 11:14:32

and hat!

Nennypops Sat 12-Apr-14 11:20:57

Surely if the baby had a blanket her legs were covered?

brokenhearted55a Sat 12-Apr-14 11:22:10

Sure Bodicea but your version of dressing baby lightly is a babygro booties and a blanket.

A dress and bare legs.....for a 10 day old in early April.

Maybe. But you're right I won't say anything.

quietbatperson Sat 12-Apr-14 11:24:05

Tbf to the mum all you hear with new babies these days is that babies are better off too cold than too hot, as hot babies die. This results in some people underdressing their babies because they are worried their babies will overheat.

My babies/children had naturally high body temperatures.

They suffered viral infections and were Ill, if they got too hot.

I used to get comments when others thought that they weren't bundled up enough, but that was over 16 years ago, we now know that it is more dangerous for babies to be to hot than to cold.

I don't have my heating on at home unless it is -, I find shops, public transport etc ridiculously hot.

I think that it is healthier to be neutral and slightly cold occasionally.

I would trust most Mothers to know their own babies, tbh.

I would give advice about a baby seeming too hot, though, that can be life threatening.

brokenhearted55a Sat 12-Apr-14 11:25:25

And you put a hat on your baby bodicea.

Yes with a blanket but it was one of those thin crochet blankets....full of holes.

I was out in opaque tights, ankle boots, a dress, cardigan and lined mac and the wind chill still got me.

oh well.

JimmyCorkhill Sat 12-Apr-14 11:25:59

My DD does not feel the cold AT ALL. We have had strangers commenting/actually doing her coat up confused. She sleeps in the nude on top of her duvet. I have taken to carrying her coat just so that people can see that I am not a neglectful mum. It's made worse because I hate the cold and wear my winter coat practically all year, so there I am bundled up and there she is barely dressed blush She has been like this from birth.

honeythewitch Sat 12-Apr-14 11:29:57

Marylou, I am not sure you did deserve a mouthful. It is dangerous for babies to be too hot, and sleep deprivation can make us do stupid things without thinking.
I have made friendly comments to mothers doing the same (it happens all the time) but I emphasise how hot it is for them "in the shop" in the hope that it reminds them.

Nocomet Sat 12-Apr-14 12:58:11

DD1 always wanted one layer less than me or she yelled.

She was born in midwinter, I got judgy looks.

WhoAteAllTheCremeEggs Sat 12-Apr-14 13:07:17

YABU Your friend found the time to introduce you to her newborn, but of course she wouldn't be capable of looking after her as well as you would.

Nancy66 Sat 12-Apr-14 13:08:23

I get much more anxious when I see babies/toddlers over dressed for the weather and clearly over heating.

Nanny0gg Sat 12-Apr-14 13:13:13

As it was a friend I don't see why you couldn't say something.

It could have easily been done in a pleasant manner, not accusing.

I'd have been worried.

CookieMonsterIsHot Sat 12-Apr-14 16:00:57

From birth, DS2 would sweat like a hairy biker even in sub-zero temperatures wearing only a nappy. We still affectionately call him our little hot water bottle (he isn't so little now though).

DD3 is always freezing. DS1 is normal.

I'm in bed with tonsillitis, DH has taken them out for a rampage in the countryside. DS1 is in long sleeves, jeans, mac; DS2 is in t-shirt, shorts and no coat; DD3 is in jeans, tights, vest, polo neck jumper, tunic, cardi and coat.

They are no longer babies but I still get worriers offering me kind advice busybodies telling me off because obviously I don't care about the health and wellbeing of my children or maybe they think I am just a bit stupid

When they were babies I felt compelled to explain myself. God knows why. It isn't normally in my nature.

Nowadays I am back to my confident self not sleep-deprived I no longer explain myself, I just smile and say "I am fairly certain he/she/they will survive the night".

broken The baby might be cold or she might not. If she is unhappy she will cry. I say to you "I am fairly certain she will survive the trip to the park."

Your friend is a new to motherhood, she will be feeling sensitive and overwhelmed. At 10 days she will be physically wrecked and emotionally drained. FGS don't pick at little things. Make her a cup of tea. Have this one brew and maybe one day she'll do the same for you.

Calloh Sat 12-Apr-14 17:58:28

I agree with Cookie.

I think if the baby wasn't crying it was probably be alright . Cellular blankets are quite warm and presumably there is no wind chill in a pram as it's sheltered.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now