Am I being petty about my birthday? Maybe I am...

(41 Posts)
D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 11:46:03

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D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 11:47:38

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struggling100 Fri 11-Apr-14 11:48:19

YANBU. It's not much to ask to feel a bit special on your birthday. Even if money is tight, he can put some effort in - get you breakfast in bed, make you a cake, cook you a three-course dinner etc. It's not about the gifts, it's about feeling like you being another year older is a milestone worth celebrating.

No! Regardless of whether a person thinks birthdays are important or not, you have made it clear in advance that this matters to you, and he's fucked it up and been a whingy nob. I would be really upset.

YADNBU

You do not sound brattish! Fuck woman, have some sense of self importance grin

QueenofallIsee Fri 11-Apr-14 11:49:37

No, its not too much to ask at all. A bitch fit probably didn't help, but you are well within your rights to tell him that it makes you feel like shit.

Himself never forgets a birthday but I do have to choose the pressies myself so I think that it is pretty normal! Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to open a beautiful, perfect surprise but then I remember that one time when there was no list he purchased a selection of tiny house ornaments for me. Yes really.

D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 11:49:57

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D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 11:50:59

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D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 11:51:31

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badbelinda Fri 11-Apr-14 11:53:15

Do you think he would mind if you just ignore his birthday this year? If he can't be bothered with yours don't see why he should be getting cake, presents and fuss made. If that doesn't work, skip his Christmas present as wellgrin grin

vestandknickers Fri 11-Apr-14 11:54:06

You don't sound brattish at all. As you say, it isn't too much to ask to have a present on your birthday.

Have a slice of birthday cake cake

WestieMamma Fri 11-Apr-14 11:57:29

YANBU It's my birthday on Sunday and my present won't have arrived. I would be brattish to be upset as my DH has gone out of his way to do something special. The delay is a one off and out of his control. Your circumstances are different and point to lack of thought and that he can't be arsed. Very different.

Stripytop Fri 11-Apr-14 11:59:30

Yabu for being demanding and having a fit.

Go out with a friend on your birthday and buy yourself some nice stuff. Don't buy him anything on his birthday, just comment that you thought you were each getting your own presents now.

Dolallytats Fri 11-Apr-14 12:02:34

It's not brattish! My DH is the same, zero effort and it really upsets me. I'm cheap, a bunch of daffs for a quid is fine and a little token from him, but no.

It makes me feel unloved and worthless....I realise this makes me sound overdramatic but he admitted that he doesn't remember the last time he bothered to make an effort for my birthday. Made worse by the fact it was my 40th. I make everyone else's birthday as special as I can (cake, pressies, cards, special tea). When it comes to me, nothing.

Makes me sad.

Happy birthday from a fellow brat! thanks cake

D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 12:03:04

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Stripytop Fri 11-Apr-14 12:06:08

Anyway he's just told me it won't be arriving in time and I've had a total bitch fit at him.

[hmmm]

TheAwfulDaughter Fri 11-Apr-14 12:10:56

I think you need to tell him how worthless it makes you feel, and how sad you are that he doesn't make the effort on one of the special days that is just yours. No bitch fits (however understandable), just express your sadness.

If he still doesn't give a fuck and isn't falling over to go and find what you wanted at a local department store, or desperate to make the day nice for you, I don't think he's as 'usually' lovely as you say he is...

Mollydoggerson Fri 11-Apr-14 12:10:58

Birthdays what a load of bollox, bah humbug.

HolgerDanske Fri 11-Apr-14 12:13:52

I don't think there's any reason to call it a bitch fit.

I think it's legitimate anger at not having your feelings properly considered. It is not hard to take a few minutes to order a gift for someone.

Meow75 Fri 11-Apr-14 12:16:28

Ask him whether he likes and appreciates what you do for his birthday. Ask him whether he thinks the kids/his mother/Uncle Tom Cobley like and appreciate what you do for their birthdays. Now ask him why the fuck he thinks it would be any different for you.

Tell him if he doesn't want anything for his birthday, all he had to do was say so, but if he does enjoy being made to feel special, then it cuts both ways.

Meow75 Fri 11-Apr-14 12:17:12

MollyDoggerson, that's your opinion not the opinion

D0G Fri 11-Apr-14 12:20:50

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CoffeeTea103 Fri 11-Apr-14 12:21:02

Molly how sad for you that you don't thing birthdays are important.

Op you are not brattish, it's a special day no matter how old you are. I think it's not nice that you had to find your own present, send him the links etc. It really isn't difficult getting someone you should know very well a gift.

CoffeeTea103 Fri 11-Apr-14 12:31:04

Think*

allybells Fri 11-Apr-14 12:33:27

YANBU, this sort of DH move is bound to make you feel bottom of the pile at times sometimes a good bitchfit erm constructively stating how you feel is quite therapeutic - or maybe even just necessary to get heard (with my DH even blatant hints don't register!). Even with a good sort of DH who loves you etc from time to time you still have to fight your own corner a little! Happy Birthday to you smile

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