We have four dc aged 9, 8, 7 and just turned 2. The 9 and 8 yr old are my dsc and only here sometimes. When our 2 yr old was born, dh would busy himself helping by looking after older dd, washing up, cooking etc which was great but now, 2 yrs on, our dd has very little to do with him if I'm there. She won't let him carry her or hold her hand on the odd occasion he tries, she won't be put to bed by him or settle with him if hurt or upset whether I'm there or not. She'll play with him and talk to him if I encourage her to but quite honestly, he knows little about how to 'handle' her which ends in her getting upset.
I'm pregnant and really want this baby to be attached to us both rather than just me. I haven'tbeen aanywhere or done anything without dd for two yrs and I want a bit of my life back. I said to dh that I want to express when baby is old enough so he can give baby a bottle at bedtime and stop the association with only me being able to put them to bed. However, he isof the mindset that 'babies need their mum's' and says he'll be responsible for the older dc.
I understand that some men find newborns daunting, but this is his fifth. He's upset by how dd is with him but I think if I'm left to do everything with this baby too then history will repeat itself. Aibu to think this and want him to do more with the baby so I can have some freedom and also get time to spend with the older dc?
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AIBU?
to think history is going to repeat itself with our new baby?
37 replies
PuffyPigeon · 10/04/2014 22:43
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