To ask - how your parents gave you 'the talk'?

(141 Posts)
Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:27:35

No one actually gave me 'the talk' but after visiting my 82 year old granny, some how We got on the topic of introducing sex education early in schools.

She thought it shouldn't happen - kids should be 'left to be innocent'.

She told me that her talk with 'her boys' (df and two uncles) consisted of..

'Seeing two dogs at it and when asked why they were fighting? Replied with, 'there not - he's giving her puppies !'

She was happy that they would have had the connection.


I replied with, "well maybe he (df) should have had early sex education - then him and mum wouldn't have had a shot gun wedding at 17!"

Im aghast !

Two dogs at it!!!

FFS !!

Were yours this bad??

JesusInTheCabbageVan Thu 10-Apr-14 19:32:43

Me (having seen age-inappropriate comedy sketch): 'Dad, what does fellatio mean?'
Dad: (Long pause for thought) 'Some of your friends probably call it 'cocksucking''

I was 9!

Nancy66 Thu 10-Apr-14 19:34:49

they didn't. Never mentioned. That's an Irish catholic childhood for you

Cupid5tunt Thu 10-Apr-14 19:35:25

No one gave me the talk but my friend fell pregnant at 14. I didn't really need it after that, I saw her life and that was enough.

I also would like to point out I don't mean that in a bad way towards the girl, it's just not what I wanted for myself or would want for anyone else.

LidlAngel Thu 10-Apr-14 19:35:47

I never had The Talk. In any way shape or form. Thank god for Just 17 magazine.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:38:00

shock jesus !!

cupid I was that girl , well 16 anyway!

Cupid5tunt Thu 10-Apr-14 19:39:00

There was a great thread on hear a couple of weeks ago about a(n amazing in my opinion) Mum who left a little letter and condoms on her sons bed. There were quite a few hoisting their judgy pants but honestly I don't think that lad will ever get himself into anything that he wouldn't now know he could go to his Mum with.

If I remember right he was 15 and came out at 12 or 13. She was lovely grin

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:41:19

Wow I agree cupid knowledge is power!

AnnieMaybe Thu 10-Apr-14 19:41:34

I didn't get one.

I remember having something wrong with my belly button and it sort of got a scab in it which I picked of and it bleed.

I thought this ment my periods had started!

I also thought I invented the missionary position as I thought the women lay flat on the bed face first into the pillow and the man lay flat on top of her ....this is how i lost my virginity aged 17!

I knew we were about to have sex so turned over and just lay flat on the bed. It was his first time too thank goodness grin

londonrach Thu 10-Apr-14 19:42:38

They didn't. As growing when whenever we asked question they answered age related so no big talk as know it! PArents not shy walking around naked in the house. Mum also bought me condoms when I went to uni. So nervous but they were unused for a few years!

Cupid5tunt Thu 10-Apr-14 19:42:56

It's hard isn't it? My friend struggled a lot but she is now a really good Mum. It did take a while with her though, she was still a kid herself really.

Family members disowned her, people gave all of us (her friends and her) funny looks when we were out shopping with a baby. Some people were very vocal in their opinions would have loved to punch them to be honest

A few years ago she rang me to meet up and explained she was going through a really hard time and that even though we had lost touch she would never forget how much we all stood by her when she needed us and hoped we would again. We did. She's an amazing woman now and her daughter adores her.

Nancy66 Thu 10-Apr-14 19:43:03

My sex education lesson at my catholic school went something like this

'girls you all live in the country and you've seen what the animals do when they get friendly with one another. Well that's what people do as well. Well, some of them, not all of them. And it's how they get their babies. Any questions? No? Good.'

(imagine it delivered by old lady with Mrs Doyle from Father Ted accent)

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:43:31

annie bless you! don't get me started on my first time grin

LeBearPolar Thu 10-Apr-14 19:45:28

I never had a talk. Just a copy of Where Did I Come From?

DS (aged 11) has had the talk so many times now grin I am determined to keep communication flowing as freely as I can until he becomes a teenager and refuses to talk to me ever again.

We have a lot of The Talk (emotional angle rather than physical) based on what we see when we watch Home and Away together, mind you <bad mother alert>

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:45:28

cupid if it wasn't for the slight age difference , I would think you was my best friend at the time!

babymouse Thu 10-Apr-14 19:45:55

They didn't.

Thank goodness for libraries!

ilovepowerhoop Thu 10-Apr-14 19:47:44

I dont remember an actual talk but I read lots of age inappropriate books as a child so knew the basics (and more!). I also found books that were my mum and dads (things like the Joy of Sex!) so my education was complete grin

Dd and ds are 10 and 7 and we have had general talks in the car, at the table, etc so they know the basics of periods, puberty, sex, babies, etc

SEmyarse Thu 10-Apr-14 19:48:52

Nothing at all!

The one thing my mother did always impress on me though was that men were in charge, and must always be obeyed (in regard to anything). So when a boy wanted to do stuff to me I let him, and when he tried more extreme things I let him, and when he asked me to perform in daylight in the park, or give a blow job on a coach I did. His mother was a very low grade prostitute and she used to encourage me to give a hand job in front of her. I thought this was entirely more normal than my religious upbringing, and figured this is what people did that they talked about at school.

Amazingly I got to 19 before falling pregnant, but still in dire circumstances!

Mine didn't really
But I didn't get any weird ideas either and managed to piece it altogether in a perfectly orderly way. Not sure how, combination of friends, tv, books and magazines I guess. I've always been the observer type so it obviously stood me in good stead.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:49:15

I used to think that kids should be effectively kept in the dark to preserve their innocents but now I think discussion and openness is the only way.

As a nation were are notoriously prudish about such things and I wonder if that the problem for all the under age births.

SEmyarse Thu 10-Apr-14 19:51:03

Oh I forgot, I did get given a book called help I'm growing up, which was bible based, and had great advice like never go out without a bra, even if it's in fashion.

Cupid5tunt Thu 10-Apr-14 19:51:12

I'm notoriously un-prudish. Not sure that's always a good thing grin

I'll 100% speak to my DD about sex. It's a subject I'm comfortable with and I think that's half the battle.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 10-Apr-14 19:51:17

SEmyarse fucking hell! flowers

Cupid5tunt Thu 10-Apr-14 19:52:28

Oh by the way I read a quite a few Mills & Boon books too when I was about 12. We were on holiday and they were in my bookcase. Wasn't exactly an off putting of sex mind you...

Nocomet Thu 10-Apr-14 19:53:20

I'm told my favourite toddler word was "why" and that I never stopped answering questions.

My DDad always answered honestly, so I knew the facts of life before I started school.

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