DP trying to BF the baby....

(206 Posts)
MadBannersAndCopPorn Thu 10-Apr-14 10:12:05

That's just it really, I walked into the room after being downstairs for half an hour or so and DP was slumped over the baby in a funny position. He had no top on and looked like he was trying to BF her- in fact I'm pretty sure he was.
I said to him- "Are you trying to breastfeed our daughter?" and his response was "She's my baby too". He wouldn't entertain any more conversation on the subject- so I left it.
Honestly though- is that a bit weird? Has he crossed a line? Is it funny? Was he just being resourceful? I genuinely don't know how to feel about this... Haven't spoken to anyone else about it in RL

YouTheCat Thu 10-Apr-14 10:14:04

Is he Peter Griffin? grin

ViviPru Thu 10-Apr-14 10:14:24

I feel like I've just walked into the wrong room at a party and now I'm desperately waiting for someone a bit more worldly to come and save me....

pictish Thu 10-Apr-14 10:14:43

Err...dunno. Curiosity or weirdness...it's hard to say.

sparechange Thu 10-Apr-14 10:14:50
UriGeller Thu 10-Apr-14 10:15:42

I don't think its remotely funny personally. How old is the baby? Could it be he's just hopelessly tired/bonkers with a newborn and was trying to get her to stop crying?

Chocotrekkie Thu 10-Apr-14 10:15:56

Was he trying to soothe her to sleep ??

HecatePropylaea Thu 10-Apr-14 10:16:42

Had he read that article about how men can lactate too?

sleeplessbunny Thu 10-Apr-14 10:17:30

DH tried this once, years ago. DD was inconsolable and I was out (not for long) and she was a bottle refuser so I think he was getting a bit desperate. He thought it might comfort her hmm.

Ithinkwerealonenow Thu 10-Apr-14 10:17:56

If he was trying to just hold her skin to skin to get her to settle, no problems.

If he was really trying to get her to suck his nipple, that is seriously odd and would raise some massive red flags for me.

i don't think it's weird. Maybe he was just trying to see how it feels? They must be curious.

Mamagiraffe Thu 10-Apr-14 10:20:54

Surprisingly more common than you think, babies do comfort suckle as well as for nutrition and many men are curious about the bonding but as it sounds like he didn't get anything from the experience I doubt he'll bother again, and if he does manage to induce lactation (called galactorrhea in men) try and see the positive- someone to help with the night feeds!

gamerchick Thu 10-Apr-14 10:21:17

well I could understand the reasoning. Boobs get them to sleep, sometimes boobs are just used as a dummy. I could see somebody joining the 2 together.

I probably wouldn't worry but have a conversation in case he maybe feels slightly left out of something?

GiniCooper Thu 10-Apr-14 10:21:42

That is seriously weird.

Calloh Thu 10-Apr-14 10:22:55

I thought that the NCT recommended this sometimes? Certainly my friend's husband was told that he could try it if he liked. However as he was very obviously the type of man to be disgusted by such a suggestion it might have been a big wind-up.

I think you should ask him calmly if he was trying to breastfeed and if so why - did he want to know what it feels like? Was he trying to calm her? I don't think you should see red flags yet and I think you should try and not sound accusatory as he probably feels ashamed even if it is for entirely innocent reasons.

sleeplessbunny Thu 10-Apr-14 10:24:11

Personally I find the fact that he wouldn't discuss it more of an issue than the attempt to bf.

MoreBeta Thu 10-Apr-14 10:24:24

Assuming this is not another mad post along the lines of the Petroleum Engineer in Jakarta thread - no its not weird.

When DSs were babies I found that taking my shirt off and holding them against my skin was soothing for them.

I never tried to BF but on the other hand desperation and extreme tiredness can make you do odd things.

Many years ago I read about a man in the jungle who was caring for a baby and the mother died. He apparently did BF enough to keep the baby alive.

dobedobedo Thu 10-Apr-14 10:24:50

Weird. It wouldn't worry me though! I'd probably just laugh.
In olden cave days of yore, men used to let babies suckle on their nipples.
Bleugh - hairy man nipples! grin

Nothing weird about this at all

If the babies not hungry and just needs comfort then any nipples as good as another one.

Walnuss Thu 10-Apr-14 10:25:56

Weird. DD used to search to latch on DH but it freaked him out and he'd move her away before she could.

HecatePropylaea Thu 10-Apr-14 10:26:59

I don't think it's necessarily weird if by weird you mean suspicious in some way. It's only a nipple. If the intention is to soothe, comfort or bond then it's not weird. It's not a usual or common thing to do, so it's weird in that way, but as with all things, it is the intention that is the thing.

My eldest used to use me as a dummy. He'd suckle for comfort and that was ok. Would it have been weird if he'd been using my husband as a dummy instead of me?

God, I would have LOVED that. I'd have had more than an hour's bloody sleep for one thing grin

Was he dreaming? Sounds like the kind of thing that a sleep-deprived Dad might do!

CrazyOldCatLady Thu 10-Apr-14 10:28:25

I'd say he's just curious and feeling a bit left out. I wouldn't mention it again, he's probably embarrassed. Just make sure he feels involved.

Mention of red flags is entirely over the top.

Its a bit weird, if the baby was upset and wanted bf why didnt he just go and get you with you only being downstairs.

DaleyBum Thu 10-Apr-14 10:32:14

Wouldn't worry me.

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