To think that people are just getting nastier?

(57 Posts)

No event in particular.. Just a general feel.. It seems like people are revelling in the fact that they can "one up" somebody else.. It's not a competition. You don't win by putting someone else down, unless you have a really low opinion of yourself. Is it just me or does that seem to be the trend?

lollerskates Sat 05-Apr-14 19:19:19

Compared to what?

Joules68 Sat 05-Apr-14 19:21:00

Who are you mixing with?

Hassled Sat 05-Apr-14 19:21:27

Oh I dunno. Look at the Sports Relief thing and how much money the public were prepared to contribute, despite how skint lots of people are. I do think most people are fundamentally good.

You're right about the sort of people who have to top-trump anything you say (you have flu, they once had pleurisy; you've climbed Ben Nevis, they once climbed Everest etc) - they do have low self-esteem themselves. And that's something to be pitied rather than hated.

Melonade Sat 05-Apr-14 19:21:29

Yes, I think there is a trend in general in society at the moment to be too ready to make fairly abusive comments about people. If you read some FB or newspaper articles, the comments from readers below would make your eyes water. I cannot believe the things some people come out with. Or even if you overhear a group of men talking about women, if you hear the "wrong" group, the things they say can be pretty shocking.

ThatBloodyWoman Sat 05-Apr-14 19:23:10

I think there's always been lots of nasty fuckers around.

There's just more ways to publicise you view now.

Compared to what they should be.. Helpful, caring "anything I can do for you"? "do you need anything?" It seems like people are pushing their own agenda/needs and don't really care about anything else. Oh and on here it seems like there's quite a few people that just like to wind others up. Is it my imagination? Are they trolls? Or do they just make themselves feel better by putting others down? I don't get it.

GildaFarren Sat 05-Apr-14 19:25:36

It's just a minority though, isn't it?

Admittedly, a very vocal minority. Most of the people I encounter are perfectly pleasant and polite.

That bloody.. I think you may be right It's just more public and "out there " now.. Especially since it's anonymous.. Hmm

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Apr-14 19:28:05

People used to be a whole lot more unpleasant, historically speaking.

I think Western society (possibly all societies) is going through a phase of being particularly inward looking and self interested currently though.

TheHamster Sat 05-Apr-14 19:29:14

From when? We are a far more charitable society than the Victorians/fuck the poor type times but compared to a few decades ago, community feel is lessening (although that doesn't necessarily mean nicer).

Herecomesthesciencebint Sat 05-Apr-14 19:29:48

I often think this when driving, why is everyone so angry? You dont pull up quite quick enough on a narrow road to let them pass........angry face and fist shook. It feels like people's default setting is pissed off.

That's the point.. It has always been a minority.It's becoming a majority, unfortunately. Being nasty seems to be the new norm.

Lagos Sat 05-Apr-14 19:33:02

TheHamster, several charitable institutions and early attitudes towards helping the poor, education etc were founded in the Georgian or Victorian era.

LettertoHermioneGranger Sat 05-Apr-14 19:33:07

I console myself in that it is a very vocal minority.

It does seem like people are more shockingly, outright nasty than they would think of being in the past. I blame the internet, it gave people license to be horrible behind a screen, but now people are living their lives that way.

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," does not seem to exist anymore. I think people now feel it is their right and even duty to call someone out on whatever they deem wrong/distasteful/stupid. And there's very little acceptance of different viewpoints -- no 'Ah I see you feel this way, but I feel this way, we both feel strongly and an argument won't do good so let's shake hands and go our own ways.' People have a persistent need to be right, all others be damned.

CailinDana Sat 05-Apr-14 19:35:00

Yabu. My grandmother grew up in a society run by a religion that utterly despised her and all women, where the "nastiness" wasn't just restricted to comments and fb posts, it was built into everyday life. The world ahead ofy daughter is much better it's unrecognisable.

Herecomes.. Yes, exactly . I'm American, go back every year and it's the same thing there. Kinda like the overcrowded rats turning on each other. And no this is NOT about immigration. I'm a forriner..

IAmDoneNow Sat 05-Apr-14 19:37:21

YANBU, yes people can be very nasty. There are a few good souls out there, sadly they are few and far between.

Letter..Yes!! exactly!!

hiddenhome Sat 05-Apr-14 19:38:41

I think so, on the whole.

People do seem to be more prepared to have a go speak their minds these days. There seems to be a lack of manners and more general hostility around now. I'm feeling the lack of warmth from others now. You go out fully expecting someone to give you a mouthful over something or other sad

Cailin. I understand that and it IS horrible.. It would be a bit more difficult to have that happen now. Well, depending on the country you live in. I'm not saying it's all bad just that it seems like there's quite a few that need to make their points at the expense of others.

Hidden.. That's the problem. It's not about having a go. It's about talking to each other, connecting. It's not about trying to validate your own point. Or is it>

Britchic Sat 05-Apr-14 19:46:39

Having been sick in bed all day, and spent most of my time browsing mumsnet, I have been overwhelmed by the compassion everyone shows for complete strangers. Not so much on AIBU, but, for example, in Relationships - there is so much support there.

And actually, re driving, we've just come back from 7 years living in Asia where drivers were seriously selfish, I have been gobsmacked by how kind drivers in the UK are - waiting ages to let you out of a junction, always thanking one another.

Of course there is nastiness in the world, but you can steer clear of it to quite an extent..... Don't be friends with people on Facebook if they're not particularly nice, don't hang out with people who talk about others behind their backs etc

missingwelliesinsd Sat 05-Apr-14 19:47:51

I think we tend to value ourselves more thesedays which can be good but can also lead to narcissism.
It seems like everyone knows their rights and what we think we deserve, but how many of us remember our duties anymore? I know, I sound like a grouchy old fart and I'm barely 35 but I notice it too....

hiddenhome Sat 05-Apr-14 19:47:56

I think society is a lot more inward looking and narcissistic now. People talking endlessly about themselves on FB and Twitter etc.......It's all about me, me, me hmm

Service to and responsibility towards others seems so much less important now as well. A little more kindness and humility would help.

Of course it's not as brutal now as it was during the past, but, considering we're so much better off now and have great improvements in public health, medical treatment, education etc. I don't think it's done a great deal to rid of us of our animalistic tendency to trash others at every given opportunity sad

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