To think ExP is utterly clueless?

(9 Posts)
MrsDrRanj Sat 05-Apr-14 14:44:10

Hopefully this will make sense as I'm still raging angry

ExP and us have a 2 year old DS. We separated before he was born, in which time ExP quickly moved in with another woman and had another baby that was born before DS turned one.

DS is not a bad child. He is still 2 so of course prone to the odd tantrum or silliness, but in general he is an absolute joy. He's going through a bit of a shy phase at the moment, where he will take about half an hour to feel comfortable around someone he doesn't see all the time, and then he's fine.

When ExP picked him up today and told me he hadn't been 'good' last weekend as he was being shy and silly around some of ExP's family. ExP has been quite flaky with contact so DS isn't very familiar with them. I told ExP it wasn't an issue, DS is just being 2 he's not being 'naughty' and he will get over it in time. ExP shook is head and told me I let him get away with too much and I need to 'do something about it'.

AIBU to think he's an idiot who has no idea about kids and should keep his parenting advice to himself?

I told him to just go and we will talk another time because I didn't want to get angry infront of DS, and I know my anger is also fuelled by the fact that he has minimum input when it comes to DS so I feel it's a cheek him telling me how to parents. I want to rant and rave and tell him rather than blaming DS maybe his family should look at why DS isn't comfortable around them but I know that's probably quite bitter of me.

Am I 'letting him get away with too much' or is this just a normal phase? I really don't see what he wants me to do about it, I can't sit my 2 year old and lecture him. And I don't want to punish him for feeling shy?!

MrsDrRanj Sat 05-Apr-14 14:45:53

Sorry for various mistakes, on phone and angry!

Monetbyhimself Sat 05-Apr-14 14:47:26

Smile, nod and then ignore. When he stops being flaky he can start to comment on your parenting.

Andanotherthing123 Sat 05-Apr-14 15:02:01

Just say 'oh that's odd, DS is never like that with me-what do you think you're doing wrong?'.He sounds like he doesn't know much about children or being a parent.Yanbu.

Malificentmaud Sat 05-Apr-14 15:05:12

Utter penis. Unless he's offering something useful like "DS seemed to find it hard to behave this weekend, is there anything you're worried about that I could help with?" - try regular bloody contact!!! Then his comment is just daft.

All two year olds are a nightmare.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Sat 05-Apr-14 15:06:06

Sounds like my ex with DD, shes nearly 7 with suspected autism, he has no idea how to cope with her, when she closes down.

Maybe if the twat made more effort to see her, he'd know.

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Apr-14 15:08:22

It's a normal phase and he's being a twat.

Even if you lived together your child would probably be shy for the first half an hour or so when visiting extended family.

He clearly knows nothing about kids.

foslady Sat 05-Apr-14 15:09:42

Oh good grief - sbsolutely clueless......remind him you know your child, you have him 6 days, he has him 1....

Zzzzmarchhare Sat 05-Apr-14 15:27:28

My DS is exactly the same, he's just turned 2. He is worse when people are in his face trying to make him talk, but warms up fine if you give him space. I am not sure what you are supposed to do when you aren't even there! Your ex is an idiot.

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