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AIBU?

to think this was a little OTT?

110 replies

aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 11:02

Picking DS up from nursery last night and another Mum was there collecting her DD. She had her 5 yr old DS with her.
Her DS said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" (there are lifts and stairs).

Now I would have replied along the lines of Yes lets go.

She however said "Now is that a command or a request hmm?"
Her DS "A request Mummy"
Her " And how do we phrase a request properly hmmm?"
Her DS "Mummy may we go up the stairs please?"
Her "Now that's much better, I will listen to you know you are speaking properly"

Me and DH were just stood there looking at each other thinking WTAF??
Then I was thinking - was that OTT or am I just really common to think it was??!

OP posts:
DontCareAboutYourShoes · 04/04/2014 11:03

It mi

DontCareAboutYourShoes · 04/04/2014 11:04

Try again.

It might be OTT and it might not. You can't judge a child and their parent in such a small snapshot.

Ploppy16 · 04/04/2014 11:05

She was wrong anyway, it was obviously a suggestion so that little lecture was a bit pointless...
It was OTT though, unless she was getting fed up with a lack of manners.

aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 11:08

I didn't think I was judging - just making a comment really Smile

OP posts:
charlietangoteakettlebarbeque · 04/04/2014 11:08

fair play to her, she is teaching her child manners

CoffeeTea103 · 04/04/2014 11:09

At least she's teaching her child manners

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 11:10

It was probably for your benefit. Grin

Comeatmefam · 04/04/2014 11:11

Yanbu

Sounds nuts - and loud parenty

aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 11:11

I've seen both her children nearly every day for a year and they are always really polite. So I suspect lack of manners isn't something she sees regularly from her kids, but I could be wrong.
But yes I was thinking it was a suggestion rather than a command or a request too.

OP posts:
drinkyourmilk · 04/04/2014 11:11

I think it depends. If her son has been particularly rude or has been issuing demands of late, she's simply trying to teach manners.

DontCareAboutYourShoes · 04/04/2014 11:12

Pretty sure you said you thought it was OTT. That's judging Grin

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 11:12

By the time they had had that ridiculous exchange they could have been up the stairs. she sounds hard work.

aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 11:12

I absolutely agree that children need to be taught manners and am very strict with this too, but I did think this was a bit much.

OP posts:
Ploppy16 · 04/04/2014 11:13

Thing is if you were reinforcing manners wouldn't you just say something like 'ask nicely please' rather than going into full lecture loud parenting mode? Or have I been doing it wrong?

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 11:13

i would have loved the son to have said 'a command'. Grin

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 11:13

All wrong Ploppy, if other people are around. Wink

Ploppy16 · 04/04/2014 11:14

Grin
Too lazy to loud parent...

aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 11:15

DontCareAboutYourShoes fair point Grin

OP posts:
Fullpleatherjacket · 04/04/2014 11:15

She intended you to notice and marvel and you have.

Game over Grin

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque · 04/04/2014 11:15

I suspect lack of manners isn't something she sees regularly from her kids

...because she will not allow it?

I hope I can be bothered to do this with my DS when he is old enough.

Late · 04/04/2014 11:15

What both sparklingbrook workingmummysaid!

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 04/04/2014 11:16

Fair enough! Nothing worse than rude children. If mine want something no matter what it is they can ask me for it properly. Plus you don't know if she's had a morning with uber brat. I'm with this woman YABU!

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PumpkinsMummy · 04/04/2014 11:18

it depends on the background I think. At the moment my DS (3) is quite rude and bossy to me and I won't put up with it. I pull him up on it and remind him he has to say "please may I" etc as it's good manners, and it's how we speak to him so we expect the same in return. Perhaps he is similar at home and she is reminding him, may seem pedantic in this instance but she would have to consistently inforce it for it to work. Although as PP pointed out, it was an idea rather than an order so she was wrong too.

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 11:18

Nothing like dampening a child's spirit. His only crime was to suggest going up the stairs. I bet she doesn't let him press the button at a crossing or anything like that.

PumpkinsMummy · 04/04/2014 11:20

enforce even.

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