to think this was a little OTT?

(111 Posts)
aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:02:49

Picking DS up from nursery last night and another Mum was there collecting her DD. She had her 5 yr old DS with her.
Her DS said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" (there are lifts and stairs).

Now I would have replied along the lines of Yes lets go.

She however said "Now is that a command or a request hmm?"
Her DS "A request Mummy"
Her " And how do we phrase a request properly hmmm?"
Her DS "Mummy may we go up the stairs please?"
Her "Now that's much better, I will listen to you know you are speaking properly"

Me and DH were just stood there looking at each other thinking WTAF??
Then I was thinking - was that OTT or am I just really common to think it was??!

PumpkinsMummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:20:06

enforce even.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Fri 04-Apr-14 11:23:16

It wasn't rude though. If it was 'go up the stairs' as an order then fine, but it wasn't. Let's go up the stairs is perfectly acceptable and doesn't require a please.

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:30:04

Sparklingbrook
If her son had said "It's a command Mummy, now move that ass and get up those stairs" I think I may have peed myself laughing grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:33:09

grin aworking.

The sad thing is that he probably won't even bother suggesting it next time because he knows he will get a lecture.

aworkingmummy Fri 04-Apr-14 11:37:01

I know, it is a bit sad. I like polite children, but I also like to see children with spirit and I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.

passthebuck Fri 04-Apr-14 11:40:34

"they are always really polite. So I suspect lack of manners isn't something she sees regularly from her kids, but I could be wrong."

That's probably because the children's mother is instilling manners into them when she gets the opportunity, as you witnessed last night.

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 11:41:48

DS2 would have just shouted RACE YOU and gone up the stairs. grin

ItsAFuckingVase Fri 04-Apr-14 11:44:33

Never mind OTT, I think it sounds fucking ridiculous. You can instill manners without sapping the joy and life out of everything.

WilsonFrickett Fri 04-Apr-14 11:47:46

It wouldn't have been my approach, but you don't know what kind of day they'd been having - maybe he'd been a total bossy-boots all day and she was trying to remind him of the probably many conversations they'd had on the subject already.

You say she has polite children so this is obviously working for her.

SaucyJack Fri 04-Apr-14 11:51:31

I think you bothering to post about it is a little OTT in itself......

A woman reminded her child to ask for something properly. Hold the front page!

WorraLiberty Fri 04-Apr-14 11:57:31

I would have cracked up if the kid had said, "Forget it. Lets just take the fucking lift instead" grin

BeverleyMoss Fri 04-Apr-14 12:02:37

But there was nothing impolite about what the child said, nothing wrong with 'Mummy let's go up the stairs' confused

Jesus, let the child be.

I do like to listen in on a bit of loud parenting, though grin

Owllady Fri 04-Apr-14 12:05:03

She's not someone I would like to be friends with

Dizzywhore Fri 04-Apr-14 12:07:16

Dear god she needs to chill the fuck out!

rabbitlady Fri 04-Apr-14 12:09:47

vocab. child has 'command' and 'request' and can use them in context. that mum wins.

andsmile Fri 04-Apr-14 12:15:01

It may sound OTT to you and I OP but if thats how the 'talk' in there family let them get on with it. It is obviously something they have been teaching the boy as he as able to say correctly what it was and correct himself.

BUT I often think I dont speak quite as nice sometimes. I live away from region and my turn of phrase couples with my accent can sound not quite right and of course stands out...<ponders>

diaimchlo Fri 04-Apr-14 12:25:55

"Mummy let's go up the stairs"

This is a 5 year old child suggesting something, not demanding that is plainly obvious.

YADNBU in thinking his mother was being OTT, if she was trying to promote good manners then she should have said something like "what word do we use when we want to do something?" that is enough, not a lecture on request or demand. To me that sounds like a very regimented method of teaching good manners.

diaimchlo Fri 04-Apr-14 12:28:05

Sorry Demand should be command, braincell on holiday confused

Becles Fri 04-Apr-14 12:38:44

YABU - You obviously felt that the mother was showing off or 'stifling' the child. Good on her for taking an opportunity to reinforce her expectations of how her child should speak to her / an adult.

Love the pp who pointed out that her DS can use 'command' and 'request' in context at 5 years old - can yours OP?grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 12:39:42

I think if things like this are OTT to post about there would be no MN Chat left SaucyJack. grin

Sparklingbrook Fri 04-Apr-14 12:40:27

And definitely no AIBU. grin

as he as able to say correctly what it was and correct himself.

I don't think it was correct. To me it sounded like a suggestion, which wasn't on the list.... grin

And yes, it is perfectly possible to instil manners in children without lecturing them. If these children get these lectures all the time, it's going to sap their spirit.

My DCs were just as polite (and expressive in vocab) at that age (and still are), and they still have their spirit.

Comeatmefam Fri 04-Apr-14 12:55:25

1. I don't want little robots, I want kids.

2. I don't want my kids to say 'may I' instead of (grammatically/semantically correct) 'can I'. What adult says to another 'may we go upstairs'? It's not teaching him the right way to talk, it's teaching him to sound like a weirdo.

3. I don't want to loud parent because I'm not total twat.

MammaTJ Fri 04-Apr-14 12:55:34

It could have been a continuation of an earlier discussion.

HighwayRat Fri 04-Apr-14 13:02:14

I'd have made dd say something like that, but I keep saying 'excuse me' till she asks properly.

I see nothing wrong with what she did, nor do I see it as 'loud parenting' whatever the fuck that is.

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