to wish so many women wouldn't get so precious and princessey over Mother's Day

(261 Posts)
Ecclefechan Thu 27-Mar-14 06:04:47

If you need one day a year for your DH and DC to show you how much they love you and appreciate you, then you've got a dysfunctional family and need to address that.

If breakfast in bed is your thing, surely that can be accommodated more than once a year on a particular day.

If you want "a break from the cooking" then maybe you should be having a conversation with your family about sharing cooking, washing dishes and going out for lunch when you want to rather than on a particular day.

Your DM and MIL do not stop being mothers just because their children have left home; so stop being so precious with comments such as "I'm the one who does the mothering", "Mother's Day should be about those who are doing active mothering", "She's had her turn". Heard every flipping year on Mumsnet (though thankfully never in real life).

Get over yourselves grin

mrscog Thu 27-Mar-14 06:08:34

Yanbu I genuinely don't get the big fuss, it seems to lead to more dissatisfaction than anything!

HairyGrotter Thu 27-Mar-14 06:14:11

I don't think mothering or just parenting in general deserves such acclaim.

You chose to be a parent, well, in most cases, why do you need a day to celebrate that choice?

YANBU

SpringComeHereYouFabulousSeaso Thu 27-Mar-14 06:17:27

Why the grin at the end of the sanctimonious tirade? You sound horribly self satisfied.

Lucky you if you have a thoughtful family. Lots of women don't. They are entitled to rant if they can't (or don't have the strength) to just 'fix' their families hmm.

thegreatgatsby101 Thu 27-Mar-14 06:19:38

YABU. Actually you're just being miserable.

I'd like to think for the majority it's not about doing those things ONLY on one day of the year. It's just nice though. Yea the overboard commercialism is a bit bollocks, but it's just a nice day I think.

People who don't like Mother's Day/Father's Day etc always use that 'oh it's stupid to do this just ONE day of the year' but they never say the same things about birthdays.

I like it. And yes my DH and DC do me breakfast in bed, treats and spoiling me on many other days so there's no issues.

deakymom Thu 27-Mar-14 06:20:01

my husband forces me into mothers day im really not interested i have my children what more do i need? the problem has got a little worse now my son is at school they tell him about mothers day and he gets all strict about wanting to spoil me (its sweet really) unfortunately it causes some arguments over the whole box of chocolate thing as he would really buy me the shop!

AuntieStella Thu 27-Mar-14 06:22:08

Is this a TAAT? If so, can someone link what it's about.

If you're just having a pop at all and sundry, then you already know YABU.

CocoBandicoot Thu 27-Mar-14 06:24:32

YANBU - I've been quite astonished at some of the threads I've seen on here... people getting worked up because they couldn't get mother's day as holiday from work; because their partner wants to go out the night before, etc. Really?!

merrymouse Thu 27-Mar-14 06:25:32

Hmm.

I am not at all into the idea of 'me' time. And I hate people using the analogy of 'putting your oxygen mask on first' to justify anything - it's an oxygen mask, not a spa day or a bottle of wine!

However, I love mother's day. I don't care if it is on mother's day or a month later - it is a brilliant opportunity for everybody to focus on me, me, me, and I am not going to pass it by! I am quite happy to share it with any other mother's in my family or prolong it so we all get our moment. In the absence of another adults, mother's day means I get to choose all films, meals and activities for the day.

If the Queen can have 2 birthdays, so can I!

It's not so much that we have a dysfunctional family - more a low cash, low time family. Mother's day and Father's day are a cheap way for the adults to have fun. (Although children are also campaigning for children's day and suspect dog isn't far behind…)

AnaisB Thu 27-Mar-14 06:26:04

I like the breakfast in bed, presents and flowers. Don't get the resent targeted at GMs though (although to be fair, I've only seen this on MN).

thegreatgatsby101 Thu 27-Mar-14 06:26:36

Also I think for a lot of those who are getting excited about Mother's Day this year, it's their first one. This is the case for a friend and I can see why she's so excited about it. It's nice. You're just miserable.

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 27-Mar-14 06:30:38

YAbu
And curmudgeonly.
What's the deal with the recent "don't need a special day for...."
"special days" (m.day, birthdays, christmas etc) are a valuable social convention. The celebratory occasions serve to affirm and validate our roles and relationships and occasional treats are well, nice. They're good for us.
Ok, maybe some ppl have been a bit precious, which can be irritating. Personally I haven't seen any of that.

Ecclefechan Thu 27-Mar-14 06:31:36

TAAT? Thread about a thread? Heavens no - I would never break MN rules grin No, it's about a recurring theme every year on MN where princesses entitled mums bitch about DH wanting to see his mother on Mother's Day when really she's had her day and now it's time for the world to recognise that the only person who counts on that day is the martyr one with young children, who needs a break from the drudgery and demands a day of pampering.

Or threads where OP is throwing a hissy fit because she doesn't feel sufficiently appreciated or acknowledged with burnt toast in bed and a bunch of flowers.

AuntieStella Thu 27-Mar-14 06:36:03

So it is a TAAstereotypedbutnotactuallycurrentlyextantbunchofT

Probably better to comment on actual threads, if any appear.

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 27-Mar-14 06:36:56

Oh. I have missed those threads.
Begrudging another mother her special day isn't nice.
But wanting one yourself is entirely reasonable.

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 27-Mar-14 06:37:53

Has someone asked for burnt toast?
How do I miss these things?

HairyGrotter Thu 27-Mar-14 06:38:30

I made an excellent choice the other day, I bought some RuPaul designed Iron Fist shoes, I expect an annual event celebrating this choice.

merrymouse Thu 27-Mar-14 06:39:50

Fair enough. Therefore, people on mother's day should be polite to their MIL and understanding of their spouse.

That doesn't mean it isn't fun to get breakfast in bed from the children and a home made card and a necklace made out of pasta.

There are far more threads about IL's and Christmas - should secular Christmas traditions be banned too? After all, we can spend money and eat food at any time of year.

thegreatgatsby101 Thu 27-Mar-14 06:40:47

But people are also precious on here about Birthdays, Christmas, holidays, this that and the other.

I suspect the lady doth protest too much ;)

500internalerror Thu 27-Mar-14 06:41:03

I think I might like Mother's Day this year, as from the sound of things, dh hasn't bought random stuff to pretend the kids chose it. They are v adamant that they've got it covered (via school!) - which I much prefer smile

Doingakatereddy Thu 27-Mar-14 06:41:56

Well, as I wrote a "princess" thread about not wanting to visit MIL on Mother's Day, I think I'm entitled to respond.

Claiming that these women lead dysfunctional families is nasty, many women I know struggle at times to gain appreciation for the roles they do. Been upset & sounding off in a message board demonstrates we are looking for support, not a sanctimonious slap down.

You state we should 'get over ourselves' as if we are grumpy little girls, just having a paddy - this is often how we may made to feel if we assert ourselves over seemingly small things such as breakfast in bed.

Your thread is nasty, smug & you need to think about how much vitriolic poison you throw down in print. Or better still - get a job writing in the Daily mail - you'd fit right in

Inertia Thu 27-Mar-14 06:42:42

To be fair, in the cases where women get upset about their DH/DP insisting on making Mothers' Day about their own mother only, it tends not to be a one-off. It's often the case that the DH allows his parents to dictate many other aspects of the couple 's lives, eg insisting on full day visits every single Sunday, and being ignored on Mothers' Day might feel like the last straw.

Inertia Thu 27-Mar-14 06:43:54

To be fair, in the cases where women get upset about their DH/DP insisting on making Mothers' Day about their own mother only, it tends not to be a one-off. It's often the case that the DH allows his parents to dictate many other aspects of the couple 's lives, eg insisting on full day visits every single Sunday, and being ignored on Mothers' Day might feel like the last straw.

Inertia Thu 27-Mar-14 06:43:54

To be fair, in the cases where women get upset about their DH/DP insisting on making Mothers' Day about their own mother only, it tends not to be a one-off. It's often the case that the DH allows his parents to dictate many other aspects of the couple 's lives, eg insisting on full day visits every single Sunday, and being ignored on Mothers' Day might feel like the last straw.

TheRealAmandaClarke Thu 27-Mar-14 06:48:08

H. I also wrote a thread about mothers day. I wonder if that's targeted.
Basically, I'm not sure whether to visit my DM or not.
I'm an exhausted working mum of 2 small dcs. She is retired and has very little involvement in her GCs lives. I have yet to decide.
I'd quite like breakfast in bed. Frankly more than two hours sleep would be nice.
Does that make me princessy?

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