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To want him to leave

(14 Posts)
Ponderfully Wed 26-Mar-14 16:07:12

I split with my partner about a month ago and he still hasn't moved out. We have a 3 year old daughter so at the start I said stay until you find somewhere. But its been a month now and I want to get my shit together and my house in order. There are loads of places to rent but he says no to each one. It's doing my head in. I can't just kick him out. Can I? Ha.

ICanSeeTheSun Wed 26-Mar-14 16:09:24

More info needed, is he on the deed or tenancy

It depends. Is the house yours? Or if it's rented is it your name on the rental agreement, or his, or both?

spongebob13 Wed 26-Mar-14 16:10:49

do you really want him gone? Ha hmm

Ponderfully Wed 26-Mar-14 16:17:36

Sorry I'll fill ye in. Together 4 years. Was pregnant after 3 months. Not planned. I own the house and I'm the only one who works. So he will be going on benefits. He is the laziest person I have ever met. The sight of him is starting to rile me and I don't want to have a bad relationship with him. I'm really trying to make it as pleasant as possible but it is getting tough.

YouTheCat Wed 26-Mar-14 16:19:33

If his name isn't on the deeds and he's not contributing, put on some bolts, put his stuff out, and tell him to fuck off.

Nomama Wed 26-Mar-14 16:20:34

Organise yourself. Get a new lock, give him a short errand, change lock.

Boot to Bum required.

ICanSeeTheSun Wed 26-Mar-14 16:20:41

Pack his bags. A month is long enough

Nancy66 Wed 26-Mar-14 16:20:56

Give him a date he has to be out by.

Keep nagging him, if he's not out by the deadline then change the locks.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Wed 26-Mar-14 16:21:52

yep. just change locks when he's out and put his stuff outside.

Dahlen Wed 26-Mar-14 16:28:56

It takes time to find and sort out the paperwork for a new place to live. That's why tenancy agreements tend to have a month's notice, for example. Unfortunately, you left it a bit open-ended with your "stay until you find somewhere" and while I appreciate that this is difficult for you and he is probably taking advantage, you need to be more specific and maybe cut him a little slack.

I would tell him that it's been a month and he needs to get it sorted. He now has a further 7 to 14 days (depending on how tolerant you're feeling and how badly he's behaving) to finalise something, after which time he will need to be gone, whether that's into a place of his own or putting his stuff into storage while he sofa-surfs. If that doesn't happen, the locks will be changed and his stuff will be outside on the street.

LaGuardia Wed 26-Mar-14 16:31:49

No, he is taking the piss. Change the locks and get on with your life. He can crash at a mate's house if need be.

Ponderfully Wed 26-Mar-14 16:31:50

Ok. Good advice. I'll give him 2 weeks. I just don't want to be a bitch.

Yes, setting a firm date is the answer. Though if he becomes aggressive or his behaviour seriously acceptable in any other way (stealing money, breaking things, taking drugs) you can chuck him out and, if necessary, call the police to remove him. And if he won't go when the two weeks are up you can, again, get the police to come and physically remove him from the house.

When he's gone, you will need to stay firm about him seeing his DD (though TBH if he is as useless and lazy as he sounds, he will probaly just vanish, and she is young enough to get over this quite easily) - don't allow him to come into your home again 'because he has nowhere to take her'. THere are plenty of places to take a 3-year-old and look after her properly.

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