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AIBU?

....in thinking he should have left asap

21 replies

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 17:26

My dh has lots of allergies....eggs, dust, dogs, cats, horses you name it. Has been tested recently so very aware. Our 3 yr old dd has an egg allergy.

Today in his mums house she had quite a bad reaction to something, most likely dog hair but can't be 100%. The dog is old smell dirty and apparently shedding at the moment. I'm very fond of the old thing.

Apparently her eyes were really bad like his were as a child etc. His sister gave her zirtec (anti histamine), and they went into another room in the house. He figured dog hair was only on the floor in the other room. I disagree as I've seen the dog in other rooms, maybe not a lot but there nonetheless.

4 hours later when they got to me her eyes were still really bad so I took her to the doctors. I work in a large school and have never seen anything like this.

Aibu in thinking he should have left the house where the allergens were, or was it ok to stay and as he said monitor the situation?

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Poogate · 24/03/2014 17:34

Well as someone who has an egg allergy, (I go into anaphylaxis when I ingest eggs), I would say itchy eyes aren't really life threatening, it wasn't as if her internal organs were shutting down and she was struggling to breath, and the Zirtec would have helped, so I think it was ok to move to another room and monitor the situation. As you say, it was only her eyes that were affected and no real harm was done.

When it comes to pet hair allergies, the more exposure, the better; my friend had a cat fur allergy and desperately wanted a cat, so exposed herself to my cats (not in a flasher type way) and gradually her allergy improved to the point where she was able to have her own pet cat.

Nennypops · 24/03/2014 17:35

Seems to me he should have left at least at the point when he realised dd's eyes weren't getting better, which I'm guessing should have been not long after they went to the other room.

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 17:47

Yes I did ask the doctor as I know it's not life threatening and she said he should have probably left. She also said allergies can worsen or lessen with exposure and it's impossible to tell which. I feel she's 3 and not really able to verbalise how she feels so we have to mind her.

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NoodleOodle · 24/03/2014 17:47

Aw, poor little thing. If it were my DD, I would have preferred that the person caring for them would have removed her from the situation to avoid her discomfort, and any potential worsening of the situation. To be fair to him though, he did treat it, and make an effort to move away from the allergen, and monitor it, and I'm sure he would have done more if she'd had any difficulty breathing, wouldn't he? Like you though, I would have been upset if presented with DD in a state where she needed medical attention, knowing that it could have been avoided or minimised sooner.

There's nothing you can do about what's happened now, and blowing your top won't help, but I would definitely recommend a conversation regarding future plan of action if similar occurs in the future, as well as checking with Dr what their recommendation is. You should aim to be on the 'same page' with regard to these things.

Hope she's ok, and not in too much discomfort?

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 17:49

She seems happy enough but bearing in mind it happened at 1130 this morning its still quite bad. I got a shock but managed to keep it together! He says one of my work mates winked at him and they both knew he was in trouble!!

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WooWooOwl · 24/03/2014 17:50

Of course he should have left.

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 17:52

I think because it happened him all the time as a kid it's kind of normalised it for him. When we moved in together I got a dog and he never even mentioned how awful it made him feel. I had no idea.

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CbeebiesIsAboutToPop · 24/03/2014 17:58

As someone who has similar allergies although itchy eyes aren't life threatening, it's the first sign for me a forewarning really.

First the eyes are itchy and if I don't leave my knwck an chest get itchy. Then I start struggling to breathe before having a full allergic attack (can't spell anafalatic Blush) all this can take place over a few hours. So personally I would say absolutely he should have left with her ASAP.

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 17:59

Now I don't like the sound of that.

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youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 18:02

Now I don't like the sound of that.

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CbeebiesIsAboutToPop · 24/03/2014 18:07

Once I've removed myself from the allergin and taken some anti hystamine I'm absolutely fine!

I remember when I was 16 we moved into a rented house that said 'no pets allowed' is gone to bed and around 1am I was banging on the partitioning wall between mine and my parents bedrooms. My dad came running in to find me barely breathing and barely conscious, that's when we first found out the itchy eyes were the first sign, I'd never stayed anywhere long enough up until that point.

It turned out the previous owners had had a secret cat and although we had hoovered not all cat hair had been picked up. My mum spent the 2 days I was in hospital cleaning carpets and scrubbing every single surface to make sure there were no signs of pet hair.

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 18:11

cbeebies i'm feeling v reasonable now on hearing that story! Imagine what could have been.....

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NoodleOodle · 24/03/2014 19:32

Yeah, itchy eyes is one thing, but difficulty breathing and anaphylactic (I googled the sp) shock is quite another. You need to know what she's allergic to and what the medical advice is to do once exposed.One poster mentions gradual exposure to the allergen, so it's something I would definitely check with Dr. And find out if you need to carry an epi pen and get her a medical alert bracelet or not.

EverythingsDozy · 24/03/2014 19:40

I know it's not a massive symptom but itchy eyes can lead to damaging the surface of the eye (through scratching, swelling etc). I know it isn't life threatening but eye health is very important, especially at such a young age.
I would have expected him to leave to be honest. Itchy eyes are also my first symptom before I start sneezing, tight chest, struggling to breathe then I feel terrible for about 3 days. Hope she's okay now Smile

maddening · 24/03/2014 20:36

I have asthma and just don't go to houses where dogs are - in summer when I can sit outside fine but otherwise I have to avoid it.

for cats I can take antihistamines in advance and just feel uncomfortable so not so bad.

next time try antihistamines in advance of going there ifdhe has to visit regularly - sometimes I find it escalates less if I don't let it get started.

maddening · 24/03/2014 20:38

Ps itchy eyes are terribly sore ime - feels like they are being scratched - if I was getting bad and antihistamines weren't sorting it then I would make my excuses so I think he should have left earlier.

HandragsNGladbags · 24/03/2014 20:41

I agree with PP. DH gets very red watering eyes first, then his asthma kicks off.

I would def leave if I saw that in my DD's, particularly when they have a relative who gets fairly bad reactions to allergens.

WilsonFrickett · 24/03/2014 20:57

I had pet allergies as a child and to this day I'm still Shock that I was just expected to put up and shut up. I can remember long, miserable afternoons in certain aunt's houses with streaming eyes and sneezes. It was just rubbish.

So yes, I think he should have left. Although that said, I never had any worse reaction.

One thing to try is taking anti-histamine before she goes to their house so that it is in her system - that's what I do now.

ArrivedAtPanicStation · 24/03/2014 21:18

Allergies are taken far too lightly. They can be life threatening. So yes, of course he should have left.

youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 22:03

Thank you all. I think he realises he should have left but I also think he felt obliged to stay as he doesn't visit his parents very often. That's his decision not mine, simply due to work and small kids etc.
Have discussed a lot and will be leaving right away should another episode occur. If that happens they'll have to visit us instead which they never do but hey ho.his mum is very nice but still tried to get him to come again on Saturday despite the fact dds eyes are still swollen almost 12 hours on .

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youmustbejoking75 · 24/03/2014 22:04

Wilson frick.... it would appear dh dreaded going to his aunts for the very same reason and I asked why he had to go and he just said he doesn't know....

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