to ask you what you think makes a person popular?

(53 Posts)
cheeseandfickle Sun 23-Mar-14 18:44:45

Inspired by the clique thread, but I thought I'd start another thread rather than hijacking the other one!

What do you think makes someone popular? Do you think there is always a reason why someone is more popular or do you think that sometimes it is just one of those things?

Being good in conversation - good balance of talking/listening.

Being upfront and open (though not "honest" as in "I just speak my mind, me, what you see is what you get" type rudeness)

Good sense of humour.

Can get on with all kinds of people.

stonehairbrush Sun 23-Mar-14 18:47:49

Being attractive.

Morgause Sun 23-Mar-14 18:48:22

Thinking about popular people I know they are those who take time to listen to others. They remember the names of your children/family and know enough about them to ask questions.

They are kind and put themselves out for others and can be relied upon to do what they have said they will do.

They are witty and entertaining company.

usualsuspectt Sun 23-Mar-14 18:49:27

kindness and being funny.

WottaTheOdds Sun 23-Mar-14 18:51:11

A stunning bank account! grin

CorrieDale Sun 23-Mar-14 18:51:30

Kindness all the way. Being funny will only get you so far. Being interested in the person you're with is the popularity ace in the deck.

stonehairbrush Sun 23-Mar-14 18:52:46

Being happy go lucky
Not political
Being nice
Sitting on the fence

Being quite bland really!

Nancy66 Sun 23-Mar-14 18:53:07

the most popular people I know are usually very funny/witty

usualsuspectt Sun 23-Mar-14 18:54:24

I don't think blandness makes someone popular.

I think people are drawn more to people with a bit of an edge to them.

skillsandtea Sun 23-Mar-14 18:54:46

Hmm.. I know people who are very popular because they are chatty, sociable, remember all family names, your kids' birthdays, says all the right things, is attractive and funny, but, after a while you realise it's a polished act and quite fake as they just want to always be the centre of attention. I think being genuine is very important.

cheminotte Sun 23-Mar-14 18:55:57

All of the above and being an extrovert. I like to think I listen, take the time to remember kids names etc but I also enjoy my own company and so sometimes come across as a bit stand-offish.

changeforthebetter Sun 23-Mar-14 18:56:12

Bags of confidence! It is the key. Insecurity makes people uneasy unless they fancy a bit of bullying sad

skillsandtea Sun 23-Mar-14 18:56:12

Agree with stone..

Ohanarama Sun 23-Mar-14 18:57:45

Being attractive, thin and well dressed

cheeseandfickle Sun 23-Mar-14 18:57:55

I know 2 people whom I would class as extremely popular. Both are female and both are extremely pretty. I don't know either of them terribly well, but neither seems to be very outgoing or witty. They do both seem quite self absorbed though.

TheBody Sun 23-Mar-14 19:01:18

people who are interested in other people.

people who like a good laugh but arnt cruel or nasty.

FragglerockAmpersand Sun 23-Mar-14 19:04:57

God what a massive, massive shame that people think it's to do with being thin, attractive, well-dressed, whatever shock I'm genuinely shocked. I'm thinking about the popular people I know (I hate that word thought - too 6th form: well-loved would be better) and they're warm, funny, interesting and most importantly interestED - they'll come along to things, they'll listen to you, they'll show up at parties with a nice gift, they'll remember to ask how your dog is, etc.

Thin and well dressed! HONESTLY! <shakes head>

Biscuitsneeded Sun 23-Mar-14 19:05:26

Hmmmm. Not sure about that Skills. I think if someone makes the effort to remember names, birthdays etc, even if they are consciously trying rather than doing it naturally that says something good about their intentions. So yes, they probably find it fairly easy to make and keep friends.
I'm not 'popular' as in cool, or rich, or well-presented, or anything like that, but I do genuinely find people interesting and I will talk to most kinds of people unless they give me cause to think I shouldn't. As a result I have some good friends and lots of other people who I'm very happy to see and chat to. I also try very hard not to let my own (normal) self-doubt allow me to think anyone would deliberately be unfriendly. So for example if a parent at the school gate is unforthcoming when spoken to I don't automatically assume they are stand-offish, or that they think I am beneath them, but that they might be shy, or preoccupied. I read so many threads on here where people complain about school gate cliques, or feeling excluded, and I wonder how much of that is real and how much is their own lack of self-confidence affecting things.
OP, what prompted your question?

A sense of humour.

Not really sure as I know a few people who are incredibly popular and seem to have no redeeming features at all. confused

Completely agree with changeforthebetter. Confidence is key, but not in a self centered way - it has to be tempered with showing concern for other people. Also being popular breeds more popularity as social capital (knowing and being friends/friendly acquaintances with lots of other people is attractive).

FragglerockAmpersand Sun 23-Mar-14 19:08:24

FWIW - I suppose, weirdly, I'm quite 'popular' - if you can measure it by frequency of being asked to be bridesmaid/best person/godparent/wedding speaker/reader etc. etc. is any kind of indicator (maybe it isn't!) - and I'm 3 stone overweight, utterly penniless and dress like Sandy Denny got dressed in the dark.

However I have absolutely no idea why people would like me, or ask me to do any of these things, so I'm not really shedding any light on the subject grin

cheeseandfickle Sun 23-Mar-14 19:14:50

I definitely agree about popularity breeding popularity!

One of the popular women that I know just seems to be friends with everyone. She always knows lots of gossip and seems to have her finger in various pies friendship-wise.

I know a few popular people. They aren't unfailingly nice, but they are kind in general and act like they are interested and care about you- even when it's a topic they are bored about, they are good at making you feel good about yourself, about being polite about it essentially.

They are generally quite outgoing and put effort into staying in touch and having contact, even with maybe more minor friends. They are confident in themselves- not arrogant, but they don't worry about being judged. Both of them are fairly pretty, not very attractive or anything, but have an air about them where they don't mind attention but aren't courting it either iyswim? They are good at small talk and getting to know people, even strangers, meaning they have quite a wide social group as even if they barely talk to you, they WILL have talked to you- not awkwardly either, even if you've only been to the school gate once or twice, for example.

Teacherspetty Sun 23-Mar-14 19:25:18

All the popular women I know are confident, witty, friendly and smiley! They chat to everyone, include everyone and are funny and fun.

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