To bf on the shop floor when there's a feeding room?

[TheFlumpFlan]

I think I was being the exact opposite of inconsiderate, friend thinks I was.

In short:

I was on a shopping trip from hell (4 kids wanting school bits) which was unproductive and I was heading back through the department store to the carpark when I saw they had a clarks shoe bit with a sale (empty). I plonked down, asked the assistant if she had ds1 and ds2 size shoes and started to feed whiney velcro baby in order to be heard rather than screamed over. I'm an experienced feeder (top up, other down) and can easily feed strolling around without flashing a nipple though I sat this time with my back to the main walkway. The assistant replied to my request with 'we have a feeding room', I smiled back and said I was fine and asked again for the shoes. She suggested I feed there and popped back, and gave directions, to which I said I knew it was two floors up, full of mothers who are trying to soothe tiny ones who don't need my lot staring at them/ being loud plus I was in a rush. She looked so grumpy getting bits out and affronted by me. I'm not particularly confrontational or particular about bf (I've ebf, mixed and ff equally loved children) but it got my back up a bit. I didn't flash her, was polite, as were the children (though I doubt they would have been stuffed into a small room with nowt to look at) and it was easier for all than listening to a screaming baby.

My sister, mum and friend all maintain it is unreasonable to publically feed unless you must, and stores provide a feeding room so people like me don't take up space feeding or put off others shopping. Yet even the dad on his own didn't look fussed when he came over (I think noone noticed). They say I may have put of business and it's just inconsiderate.

[treas]

YABU - there was a feeding room provided, you had no reason to be to bloody minded

[SylvanMuldoon]

Oh ffs no of course YANBU, you needed to feed your baby, why should you have to hide?! Bloody minded? Er, no.

[AlpacaYourThings]

Put off business What an odd thing to say.

YANBU, it just seems odd that he made such a big deal over it.

[MrsReacher85]

Honestly I don't see an issue with it and would have done exactly the same with other DC there too. And you weren't just sat in the middle of the shop, you were sorting out the other kid's shoes at the same time. I doubt any other customers even noticed.

I see no reason for breast feeding to be hidden away and always treated feeding rooms as being there for your convenience, not other people's.

[Gooseysgirl]

YANBU end of.

[breatheslowly]

YANBU. It's not like you weren't shopping at the same time. I really don't understand the problem.

[Catnuzzle]

YANBU. A feeding room is a facility to use if u want to not because someone else wants u too. I'd have done what u did.

[TheEmpress]

YANBU

Why should you shut yourself away? If you were in a situation that you would give a bottle, then you are in a situation that you can bf.

[Woody31]

Feed wherever you want, whenever is convenient for you and your other kids. I find feeding rooms cramped, dark and often pretty smelly and surely only need to be used by those that don't want to feed in public - unlike yourself.

[DameFanny]

Yanbu - I assume the feeding room was either a cupboard with no facilities or a section of a loo? And of you can get the kids shoes fitted while feeding then why the hell not?

To anyone saying Yabu - why? Is there supposed to be something intrinsically offensive about feeding a baby?

[Annunziata]

What a mountain over a molehill!

YANBU to feed where you were, but if baby was really screaming as much as you made out, people might have been put off and gone to a quiet shop.

[petalsandstars]

Yanbu. I would have done exactly the same.

[Princesspond]

Yanbu, you were discreet, makes me feel all radical people's negative opinions on bf

[weaselish]

YANBU. Strange reaction from your family and the sales assistant. I would have done the same as you - like you said, if you're and experienced feeder it's easy to do without showing anything and it just looks like you're holding the baby.

[SweetPeaPods]

YANBU- stick by your guns on this please. We really need it to be seen as the norm so stupid members of staff or public don't feel the need to get offended.

[Doingakatereddy]

You went shoe shopping with 2 kids and a Velcro baby, managed to multi task feeding and organising shoe fitting?

I'd give you a bloody medal not a mouthful. Feed where you want. 'Put off business' my arse

[ChaffinchOfDoom]

I would actually think about complaining to clarks, it does piss me off that she repeatedly asked you to leave;
you were buying shoes for 2 other dc so why wasn't she focussed on them? YANBU
they usually ignore me and just do the faff about with the sizer, go wandering off for shoes etc makes no difference and tbh feeding as you describe just looks like baby is being held anyway

you can feed where you want

[BornFreeButinChains]

With the greatest respect who gives a shit what anyone says except the LAW.

I wish more people would just come out with the law when confronted...

It would be great to get to a place as a society that no one bats an eye lid at a woman feeding her baby!

[fluffyraggies]

Feeding rooms are not like toilets - ie: the 'proper place to feed' like a loo is the proper place to go to the toilet.

A feeding room is provided as a courtesy by the shop in case anyone wants to use it while feeding.

You can feed where you like.

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

Well, if you had taken out a bottle and proceeded to feed, presumably the Assistant wouldnt have batted an eyelid, so she was damn rude to do so with BFing.

[ShoeWhore]

YANBU.

I could understand if it was half term and the department was overrun with customers and you weren't actually buying anything. But you happened to be feeding your baby while being served. Absolutely fine.

I had no desire to flash my boobs around ever but I fed mine in all sorts of places. I do remember getting some slightly funny looks sitting in a display armchair at the bottom of an escalator in M&S though But you know, the boy was hungry and he wasn't keen on waiting!

[eightandthreequarters]

YANBU to bf on the shop floor. YABU to expect every shop assistant to be utterly fine with it. So sit down and feed the baby, explain that you would like shoes for the DC, and she can either measure them up now while you feed or she can wait until you have fed the baby and then crack on. But either way, you feed the baby when and where you need to. She might not like it, but she needs to deal with it politely and professionally.

[BornFreeButinChains]

Just saw it was Clarkes! They who manipulate us to buy their crap and expensive shoes....

I would write an utterly stinking letter to head office.

[TheFlumpFlan]

ok, the majority are clear.

I'll be honest, the feeding room is pretty decent. It's more I feel awful going in there with a crowd disturbing new mothers and babies who really just don't need it when I'm just fine wherever. I remember the days of struggling to latch then praying for even a brief sleep.

[ChaffinchOfDoom]

bornfree can you link to the real law to quote?
Im in England, and thought it wasn't actually in law that you caould feed wherever, it is the law in Scotland, bf mothers are protected there, I could be wrong, this is what Ive been told though