To be more than annoyed when people inform me my children need a good smack?

(607 Posts)
Slightlyneuroricnat Thu 20-Mar-14 12:02:17

It really winds me up.
Not so much the oldies who say " in our day I would have a got a whack for that " but people that can see I'm already having a tough time dealing with 2 toddlers, my eldest daughter is going through a phase ( I bloody hope ) of hitting everyone including me and we always have the same conversation, I don't hit you and you must not hit mummy, you've hurt me and now we are going home.
So we had this yesterday in a park and a lady informed me that I was " wishy washy " and what she actually needed was a good smack herself.
Am I being unreasonable to think she is an ignorant fool or am I some kind of martyr as I don't believe in hitting children?

WomanScorned Thu 20-Mar-14 12:05:41

YANBU
A neighbour helpfully suggested I smack my son's a**e, yesterday, to teach him not to hit me...

Not hitting your child is not the same as being wishy washy - you can be firm without smacking!

Sounds like you're doing fab to me. She hits you, you go home. She'll get the message eventually!

Goldmandra Thu 20-Mar-14 12:06:44

YANBU.

Not smacking isn't wishy washy.

You can give children clear messages and manage their behaviour within appropriate boundaries without smacking them.

Smacking her would just be teaching her that hitting is OK.

NoNoNoNoNoYabu Thu 20-Mar-14 12:07:04

Yanbu

TheBody Thu 20-Mar-14 12:07:48

I don't believe in hitting children either op but I have hit my older ones on occasion. once was for running in the road and the other was for biting me in the arm.

have to say neither of those behaviours happened again.

not a strategy but a fact.

YANBU - when my DS was a toddler he was prone to tantrums. I learned that the best way to deal with them when we were out and about was to try and ignore....anyway, one day I was in a cafe with him and a friend and her DS and he had a tantrum over something ridiculous...in the end I just picked him up, popped him under my arm and left. She told me that she didn't understand why I didn't just give him a good slap.

Then she had another baby - a little boy and by god doesn't he tantrum!! She then realised what a complete tit she had been and me, well, happy days.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 20-Mar-14 12:11:00

Oh people can be awful.

I was told "its the parents fault" as my daughter was eating messily.

Yes its my fault she has SN and couldnt use cutlery properly.

There is no limit to the rude judginess of some.

Ignore them.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 20-Mar-14 12:14:32

I didn't hit mine. They have grown into lovely teens and adults. Ignore. Having said that I used to say : and look how well you turned out...

grin

blahblahblah2014 Thu 20-Mar-14 12:16:56

I think she was right, one smack back and she wouldn't do it again. Tough but you letting her dictate when you go home etc realy isn't working for you now is it? One "huh how do you like it?" would soon back her off. I would go ballistic if any of my DC dared to smack me, i never had that problem as it was dealt with on the first instance

Probably will get flamed for this but I believe that kids that get smacked are more likely to hit others kids when they don't get what they want...

Pootles2010 Thu 20-Mar-14 12:18:24

YANBU - would she like it if you had a go at her for smacking?

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 20-Mar-14 12:19:43

Blahblahblah very thoughtful parenting. " How do you like it?" ..fighting your toddler? Really

Dawndonnaagain Thu 20-Mar-14 12:21:50

Goodness me, blahblahblah your typing skills are good for your age. hmm

blahblahblah2014 Thu 20-Mar-14 12:23:30

What i can't have an opinion because i am old?

blahblahblah2014 Thu 20-Mar-14 12:23:51

Sorry didn't know there was an upper age limit for MN!

Goldmandra Thu 20-Mar-14 12:26:04

I think she was right, one smack back and she wouldn't do it again.

Even if smacking did work to stop hitting, which it often doesn't, there are plenty of other awful things you could do to your children that would stop them ever doing it again too. The fact that it gets you what you want doesn't make it OK.

Sparklysilversequins Thu 20-Mar-14 12:27:00

I think posters thought you must be quite YOUNG seeing as you haven't yet learned to keep YOUR hands to yourself and think its ok to physically fight with other children.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 20-Mar-14 12:27:43

Nobody can see how old you are blah. In fact my comment was rather about your somewhat juvenile behaviour.

WorraLiberty Thu 20-Mar-14 12:30:05

YANBU

I would never say that to another parent even if I secretly thought it

MangoBiscuit Thu 20-Mar-14 12:31:17

How do you expect to teach someone that a certain behaviour isn't acceptable, by using that very behaviour?! Illogical at best.

pointythings Thu 20-Mar-14 12:31:30

I think leaving the park is a perfectly acceptable consequence - you hit = the fun activity we were doing ends. She'll get it. Not wishy-washy at all, just straight in there with the consequence and why it is happening.

WorraLiberty Thu 20-Mar-14 12:33:12

Mind you, if you had 2 toddlers, was the other one happy to go home due to their sibling's behaviour?

tripecity Thu 20-Mar-14 12:33:17

why don't you go and post on a child beating forum blahblahblah? I think you would fit in there a lot better

Kirk1 Thu 20-Mar-14 12:37:09

Children who are smacked are more likely to smack other children when they don't get their own way. Saying "hitting is wrong" then demonstrate that hitting is how YOU get your own way is completely confusing for the poor kid. "Wishy-washy" is saying "Don't do that dear" and doing nothing else.

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