to be a bit hurt by this comment by friend's DD

(63 Posts)
roastedalmondfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 21:33:08

Well, I probably am. See what you think.

Friend's DD is 16. It's a pure coincidence as sometimes happen but the DD learns dance from another friend of mine.

So I was talking about an upcoming trip to Edinburgh and we were going to see the ballet and the DD came into the kitchen. I said "oh, (friend's DD) I was just saying how we're (ramble about the ballet.)"

DD sneers and says, "You being friends with Miss X is weird."
"Why?" I laugh, thinking she meant "coincidence."
"Well, it's weird you two are friends, you're not alike."
I said, "How do you mean?" more bemused than anything. The DD shrugs and says, "I dunno," (in a voice that suggests she DOES know" - "she's ... pretty."

Erm - AIBU?

moominmarvellous Tue 18-Mar-14 21:43:57

YANBU - that's a really bitchy thing to say and at the age of 16, I'd expect her to understand the impact of saying that kind of thing.

I think I'd have come back with 'Hmmmmm, interesting you should say that, as I often wonder about some of DD's friends as well......'

.....Actually I'd probably have been too shocked and said nothing but she'd be waaaay down in my estimations.

BrianTheMole Tue 18-Mar-14 21:47:11

Thats really rude. I would have told her that. At 16 she should know better than that.

WitchWay Tue 18-Mar-14 21:47:44

What a horrible girl angry

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Tue 18-Mar-14 21:48:04

YANBU, and her parent should have pulled her up on that comment!

SamandCat Tue 18-Mar-14 21:48:09

I think you are projecting onto this situation.
Why do you think she meant difference in looks, which ime has no beqring on friendships.Are you sure she didn't mean different interests/age/job etc

largeginandtonic Tue 18-Mar-14 21:48:40

I'd have asked if she meant to a rude little horror.

roastedalmondfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 21:50:16

Sam - because she said "she's pretty"!

Ah, thanks people - I was/am really pretty upset by it to be honest which is stupid I know, but I daresay the girl has issues of her own. Horrible thing to say though. I hope she cringes when she remembers it in ten years time!

Only1scoop Tue 18-Mar-14 21:51:14

What did the mum<your friend> say ?

chattychattyboomba Tue 18-Mar-14 21:52:31

That's awful! I would have said something patronising like "I think dear, as you get older you will realise what true beauty is, and what you just said, is truly ugly".
I know it probably doesn't make you feel any better though. What a little cow. 16 is such a mean age.

Samhainslass Tue 18-Mar-14 21:52:44

Hormones and immaturity never do mix well.

VoyageDeVerity Tue 18-Mar-14 21:52:46

That was a horrible thing to say.

Would put me right off her.

dollymixedup Tue 18-Mar-14 21:52:48

Maybe its just how she perceives you as her mums friend (and all that entails) and her dance teacher as an interesting/independent/exotic adult.

roastedalmondfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 21:53:02

Said the girl's name in a shocked tone, to which the girl did a Kevin-the-teenager "What? What?" thing to grin

Not friend's fault, but I just was so shocked at how bitchy it was.

VoyageDeVerity Tue 18-Mar-14 21:53:59

Is that all the other mum did! I would have been mortified!

roastedalmondfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 21:54:23

Dolly - but she said "you are different ... she's pretty."

I don't think it could have been any clearer that she thinks I'm a bog-trotting beast, which may have some truth in it wink BUT I'd rather not hear it!

roastedalmondfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 21:55:04

Voyage, I don't think she knew what to say to be honest, none of us did! Wish I'd had a clever retort ready but I was shocked!

dollymixedup Tue 18-Mar-14 21:55:41

I'm not defending her btw and YANBU to feel a bit hurt.

Paintyfingers Tue 18-Mar-14 21:55:48

Probably more that the dance woman is in her black and white teen 'cool' box, but you are in her uncool 'mum' friend box iyswim than anything truly to do with looks. It was a very unkind comment and she will not win friends and influence people if she continues like that.

How long has she been friends with your DD? She sounds a right little cow.

You should have said, "Well, look at you and my DD. Do you think she's your friend out of pity?"

Salmotrutta Tue 18-Mar-14 21:57:07

You can bet her Mum gave her a right earful afterwards!

At least I hope so...

roastedalmondfudge Tue 18-Mar-14 22:01:06

Pumpkin - the comment was about me - if it had been about my child she'd have been floored by me (verbally, at least) but I was [shocked]

She isn't a particularly nice girl!

dollymixedup Tue 18-Mar-14 22:01:19

Thats what I meant Paintyfingers.

I think being friends with mum may mean you are a seen as a frump.

Teens can be everso tactless.

SamandCat Tue 18-Mar-14 22:03:09

Oh Ok I misunderstood your post

SinisterBuggyMonth Tue 18-Mar-14 22:03:18

Blimey, I'd never have said that at 16!

Some people are just Arseholes, no matter what age they are.

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