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To write to the hospital?

(10 Posts)
Madratlady Mon 17-Mar-14 21:13:48

My ds had a tongue tie which was only diagnosed at nearly 5wo when I saw a bf peer supporter as ds was completely unable to latch on and I was having to gibe bottles of expressed milk. By the time the tongue tie was cut ds completely refused the breast. I really wanted to bf so I was upset that I couldn't and it took me a long time to accept that.

Ds was in special care for his first 9 days and there was no bf support although I mentioned that we were struggling. At no point did they check for a tongue tie despite several nurses caring for him over the time he was in. I still feel resentful as if it had been picked up on in hospital he probably would not have been discharged without bf being established (although I was supposedly bf him) and I may have been able to bf.

Wibu to write to the hospital? Not to complain as care was otherwise very good but to say that I think bf support could have been better and that ds should have been checked for tongue tie as we were struggling to bf. Possibly I abu and need to get over it but I feel a bit let down.

NoodleOodle Mon 17-Mar-14 21:15:22

YWNBU

Is there a patient/hospital liaison you could communicate through?

crazy88 Mon 17-Mar-14 21:18:18

YANBU and you should flag it so that it doesn't happen again. If there is a training issue it needs to be addressed. Think of it that way, it won't change the outcome for you but it might help someone else. Sorry you went through this, it sucks (no pun intended) smile

Madratlady Mon 17-Mar-14 21:25:58

Thanks I was wondering if I was being silly still thinking about it months later.

We were given a nipple shield to try and after one semi-successful feed with that his feeding tube was removed and we were told he could come home next day. We spent that night I the bedroom on scbu where all parents stayed with their babies the night before they were discharged, we spent that night and the next couple of days with ds either sucking on the nipple sheild or screaming and he barely slept. It took a while to realise that he wasn't getting anything from the breast. I eventually expressed some milk and he settled straight away. He must have been starving.

ALittleFaith Mon 17-Mar-14 21:58:53

I think you'd be best off contacting your local PALS unit (Patient Advice Liaison Service) who will advise you how best to approach your complaint.

CelticPromise Mon 17-Mar-14 22:09:54

Of course YANBU. I'm sorry you had crap support. Tt is often missed but you should have been offered more effective support. Unfortunately there seem to be quite a lot of neonatal nurses just not interested in or knowledgeable about breastfeeding. We have had peer support and a bf coordinator in my local unit for the last year or so and it's making a difference. Maybe your unit would consider putting something in place? I know my local hospital really does act on feedback.

chocolatesolveseverything Tue 18-Mar-14 03:44:00

YANBU. My son is 7 months and after suffering from awful wind and reflux since a newborn, has only just been diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie after I contacted a private lactation consultant. I told our GP what she said and he was like "Oh yes he does have a tie." This was after numerous midwives, health visitor, and paediatrician had all told me he definitely didn't. It's now probably going to be months before it can be fixed as it requires a full operation with him being so old. I'm furious!

milkjetmum Tue 18-Mar-14 05:05:37

chocolate my dd was also picked up late so ended up with an op under general anaesthesia aged 2.5 to co£rect. That all went smoothly and glad we did it, but I think you still have time to get it sorted before ga is required - see this link [http://www.uhs.nhs.uk/OurServices/Childhealth/Tonguetie/Tonguetie.aspx]

If I were you I'd ask for urgent gp referall to Mervyn (I think he also accepts private patients) if getting to Southampton is a possibility. Hth

milkjetmum Tue 18-Mar-14 05:07:01
chocolatesolveseverything Tue 18-Mar-14 13:01:12

Thanks Milkjet. I've heard great things about Southampton and tongue tie. Unfortunately we're up in Scotland where the services are nowhere near as good :-(

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