Oh bugger bugger bugger

[LokiDokey]

Not sure what I'm going to do here. I have 2 DC's, DS who is 21 and left home last year. We are close but don't get to spend as much time together as we used to and he does feel that (he's a sensitive lad) and DD, 16, lives at home. Beautiful, clever young lady who I'm immensely proud of.

A few months ago DS mentioned a band who I loved as a teen and got him into in his teens were touring. It's a rare thing and the fact the tour is based around the big album we both loved was a huge draw for both of us. Because we don't get chance to do a lot together I booked us tickets and he's really looking forward to it.
DD has come home tonight and told me her prom date...yep, same night as the gig.

I have no idea how best to handle this. DD says go to the gig, we wouldn't be leaving until 6pm so I would see her dress etc DH would take her. I feel massively guilty and don't know which way to jump now.

WWYD? I'm wondering wether to take DD to be pampered in the day (hair, nails etc) and then take DS to the gig at night. DD insists she's fine but I have massive guilt.

Of all the bloody nights! 365 sodding days in a year and this clashes. Can't believe it.

[indigo18]

Do exactly what you said; help DD get ready then you go with DS.

[CoffeeTea103]

Arghh bugger! Yes maybe you could make a whole day of it pampering her, take lots of good photos. Is it possible to miss a little of the gig?

[JuniperTisane]

Oh go to the gig! Your DD is fine with it.

[WorraLiberty]

Go with what your DD suggested

It sounds fine

[SallyMcgally]

Go to the gig. You can do all the pampering etc with DD beforehand, and there'll be pictures. It would be nice to see her just before she leaves, but it's not a huge issue. Certainly nothing to feel guilty about. You can have lovely daughter time getting her ready, and then a great evening with your son. Perfect.

[wowfudge]

Just do as your sensible daughter suggests.

[Seeline]

I'd do exactly that - girly day with DD, then gig in the evening. She has said she is happy with that and TBH it's all about the dress and preparation isn't it She can send you photos etc throughout the evening too.

[CrohnicallyChanging]

I would go to the gig. You will see your daughter in her dress, you just won't take her to the prom. Your DD insists that she's fine about it.

So to be honest, I don't see what the big deal is! (But that might be because when I was at school, it was a leaving do not a prom, school laid on a coach to take us there, and I wanted to get ready at my friend's anyway)

[piratecat]

who's playing? (not helpful i know)

[whois]

Go to the gig. Get photo of your DD all dressed up.

[LokiDokey]

Thats what I'm thinking Coffee, some kind of pamper treat then perhaps leave here later and miss the support band (The gig is 70 miles away)

DH can take lots of photo's I suppose. She's not a dressing up girl, more of a gamer who sits in most of the time so actually wearing a dress (rather than an assassins creed hoodie) is a big thing for her. Probably why I feel guilty.

Just wanted to gauge that I was doing the right thing really.

[DramaAlpaca]

I think you've come up with the most sensible solution.

Lucky you having a DS who'll go to a gig with you. Mine would be if I suggested anything like that!

[LokiDokey]

Phew, ok so I'm not down for worst Mum of the year then. Sigh of relief.

pirate it's Extreme. I was a big fan back in the day and they are touring Pornograffitti, an album DS was raised on and loves so he's especially excited. Fortunately DD didn't want to go to that or that would have compounded the issue.

[MrsRuffdiamond]

I would go to the gig and enjoy it! Your dd sounds lovely and has said she's fine with it. You can do the pampering and take lots of photos. I'm sure she'll be happy with her Dad taking her to the venue.

I think it's important that you don't cancel on your ds if you can possibly help it. You'd be feeling guilty about that, too, and as you've said, you don't get to spend much time together. Your dd has given you permission to go to the gig, IYSWIM, so no need for guilt there, especially if she has a special day getting ready.

[Poppylovescheese]

I would go with ds

[IndridCold]

Gig, no question. It's not like you are meant to actually go to the prom with your daughter.

She will get ready, swan off to have fun at her prom, while you sit at home thinking about the gig your are missing.

[minouminou]

Your DD sounds very sensible...do as she says, I reckon!

[specialsubject]

why is this even an issue? You aren't going to the prom, your daughter sensibly doesn't see a problem - because there isn't one.

go to the gig. I'm sure at 16 she can dress herself!! Perhaps she could also enjoy the event rather than emailing you about throughout too!

hope you both have a fun evening.

[MacBee]

Your kids sound like cool kids. Not just in their tastes, but because your DD is understanding about your prior commitment. Definitely spend the afternoon with her and then have a wonderful time with your DS later.
Nothing to worry about!

[LokiDokey]

Have had a good chat with DD now and she's actually looking forward to a bit of a pamper day together and she genuinely is ok with it. I think I worried she was just saying that so as not to cause any upset but she is ok over it. I'll book her in with our hairdresser for hair and nails and take her for a nice lunch as well I think.

DS will pick me up as planned and will be there to see DD in her dress as well so that works nicely. DH is happy he's having 'a quiet night'.

My instant reaction was 'oh god I'm going to have to let one of them down!' but now I've thought it through a bit more and you lovely lot have all reassured me we are all ok about it.

Thank you all

[Yama]

Enjoy Extreme. I saw them in 1992 or 1993 and they were great. Ah, the lovely Nuno .

[LokiDokey]

Yama, there were meet & greet tickets but they were around £170. DS refused to let me have that on the basis that he wasn't explaining to DH how I'd fainted at Nuno's feet Nuno is still incredibly lovely I add.

[Yama]

Must be all that clean living.

All my teen crushes had long hair and a guitar.