...to think this is a bit cheeky or do I need to relax a bit?

(252 Posts)
NotActuallyAMum Mon 17-Mar-14 12:36:44

A work colleague of mine did me a favour recently – saved us about £50 – so as a thank you I offered him a couple of nights in our static caravan. I said that if he goes straight there after work on a Friday he’ll be there by about half 6 then if he leaves around the same time on Sunday he’ll have 2 full days there. I warned him that we wouldn’t be moving our belongings out of the way because there’ll still be plenty of room for the two of them. He took me up on the offer, which I was pleased about – I wanted to return the favour

I’ve just seen that he’s booked the Friday and Monday of that weekend off work, presumably to spend 4 nights at our caravan instead of the 2 that I offered. Additionally, someone else who works here sees a lot of this person out of work – the two of them and their wives spend a lot of time together and I’ve noticed that he has also booked the Friday and Monday off work, making me think that they are planning on going too

I could be wrong of course but it seems too much of a coincidence for there to be any other explanation. Isn’t this a bit cheeky?

Although of course he'll ask you to bring it on Thursday even if he's not going till Friday if he's taken the Friday off. So that doesn't help you.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 17-Mar-14 13:29:46

But he's not at work on the Friday, so he'll probably tell you he needs the key Thursday because he won't be in the office on Friday. That gives you the chance to check he's understood the arrangement.

Quejica Mon 17-Mar-14 13:33:31

And when you have the key handing-over chat, you can mention the neighbours who look after the caravan and that it's ok, you have told them there will be 2 people there 6:30pm Friday to 6:30pm Monday so they won't find the police arriving unexpectedly thinking they are squatters!

NotActuallyAMum Mon 17-Mar-14 13:34:13

Yes of course he'll want it on Thursday if he's not here Friday...bugger

I'm trying not to think about it too much (honest grin) because it's a couple of months away yet

PrimalLass Mon 17-Mar-14 13:34:39

Maybe it's just the two of them going - did you specify exactly who could use it? I'm not sure why you are so bothered about that bit.

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:35:28

YANBU

Your property your rules...

My parents have a holiday home in SW France and generally they specify dates/times of going there due to electricity etc bills as they make a charge for that. Another couple uses up double the utilities and it's just cheeky not to ask.

Golden rule always ask especially when getting something for nothing. No matter what this colleague (and he is that, colleague, not a friend and even if a friend a bit rich) saved you.

NotActuallyAMum Mon 17-Mar-14 13:35:42

Ah yes Quejica I could quite easily say something along those lines couldn't I? Fantastic idea, thank you!

<why didn't I think of that>

Optimist1 Mon 17-Mar-14 13:36:03

As Debbie suggests above, I'm wondering whether he misunderstood your offer. If you described it, for example, as being "quite roomy - it can actually sleep five people" he could have seen this as ideal for the two couples. And he might have thought the timings you outlined were more as an indication of how he could get two full days there without having to take time off work, as opposed to the maximum length of the stay you were offering.

Primalass really? You honestly can't understand why someone might not want 2 strangers staying in her caravan without being asked?

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 17-Mar-14 13:36:53

Definitely let him know that someone else will be staying on Sunday night.

Do the helpful neighbours have a spare set of keys? Tell him to pick them up from them but they are away until Friday afternoon?

Very cheeky.

Maybe he and Other Chap are actually having a torrid affair behind their wives' backs and Other Chap is going as his +1?

If this is going to bug you for several months then just ask him!

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:38:02

Primal - I suppose either you've never had a holiday home (and the expenses) or been concerned about who stays there.

It is OP's holiday home, not the colleagues. How would the colleague like it if OP and her whole family/friends did same to colleague? NOT A LOT.

NotActuallyAMum Mon 17-Mar-14 13:38:04

PrimalLass I just think it's cheeky of them to take friends with them without asking when they're getting a freebie. As HelloBoys pointed out, another couple uses double the utilities

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:39:26

Optimist misunderstood my arse. there's a big difference between saying "x cottage sleeps x people" or "you can invite 2 couples along".

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:40:52

NotActually - I won't tell you about stepdad's relatives - Irish nephews who well they ruined a mattress by weeing on it whilst pissed whilst drinking local brew then refused to pay for a new one.

There were words between stepdad and his brother over this (now sorted!).

but it is expensive generally running a holiday home!

NotActuallyAMum Mon 17-Mar-14 13:41:44

No the neighbours don't have keys, I wouldn't expect them to take that kind of responsibility to be honest

I'm definitely going to have the conversation that Quejica suggested when I give him the keys, I love that idea

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:42:33

Quejica yes that was a gem. smile

NotActuallyAMum Mon 17-Mar-14 13:43:26

HelloBoys that's awful, I'd be absolutely gutted if anything like that happened. We only normally let immediate family go, this really is a one off because he did me a favour

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:44:33

NotActually - just FYI. My parents neighbours don't have keys but take note (quietly) about who's there (in otherwise empty house) as it's a tiny hamlet in SW France.

My mum's friend has keys and people staying see her generally I think. She lives a 10 minute drive away. She takes loose responsibilty for the holiday home.

Optimist1 Mon 17-Mar-14 13:44:39

Just looking for an alternative explanation, HelloBoys ! (My friends don't call me Pollyanna for nothing.) smile

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:46:33

NotActually - they're not close but thought as they were relatives they could literally take this piss as it were.

Luckily they're grownups and the parents sorted it out (not the nephews - who by the way had wives, kids etc) but my stepdad was seriously annoyed about it! worse as it was his relatives.

Hmm if you said it sleeps four comfortably you can go fri-mon, maybe he's just thought Fred's free, wonder if he can come with? He would still be the responsible one for keep/breakage. He may not realise you wanted to know if he was going alone.

Would you have expected a girlfriend? Wanted to know her name?

Different if he's taking six people but if it's within the sleeping capacity I'm unsure it's relevant.

Quejica Mon 17-Mar-14 13:50:26

Glad to help - I'm famed for my deviousness!

HelloBoys Mon 17-Mar-14 13:51:03

Optimist - I suppose I've seen it with parents people REALLY take the piss sometimes with others generosity.

That's why now my parents lay ground rules about who stays, how long etc. and ALL breakages are paid for!

You'd be amazed sometimes what some less scrupulous people do. Most are lovely.

Oh we had same when I went with boyfriend to large Spanish house (with apartments) owned by family friend Adam who lived in UK. Another friend of family (Deirdre) was staying there letting out apartments, we got a grotty one with no kitchen.

When we raised this with Adam turned out the other friend was pulling a fast one, letting flats to undesirables etc and he was furious and embarrassed on our behalf. They turfed Deirdre out immediately. People taking advantage again, see??

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